25 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Is it possible to stop men from cheating? Well, there are a variety of surface-level reasons why men cheat. However, there is only one main reason why guys cheat.

There are a variety of surface-level reasons why men cheat. There is only one main reason why guys cheat though. Looking at life strictly from an evolutionary biology perspective, men are hardwired to try and pass down their genes to as many offspring as possible with as many high-quality partners as possible.

This is probably not what you want to hear. Sure, there are some things you can do to try and prevent your man from cheating. In the end, though, it really comes down to the guy’s beliefs about cheating.

If his belief system is that cheating is okay under the right circumstances, then he is going to do it, regardless of all of the reasons I’m going to list below. Keep in mind; this is all being done from the subconscious mind.

We don’t actively think, “I need to get as many attractive women pregnant as possible.” The biggest thing that helped me get over cheating ex-girlfriends from the past, was realizing that most of the time it isn’t about you personally.

If you’d like to get more information on why men and women do the things they do, I’d highly recommend checking out the book, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker.

beautiful couple in love portrait

  1. Opportunity – If a guy has a chance to have sex with another high-quality woman and feel they can get away with it without any consequences. You can try to avoid giving your man opportunities to cheat, but it may come across as controlling.
  2. Variety – It could be that you have a partner with a high sex drive who feels that deep biological need to reproduce with a variety of partners.
  3. Spite – Maybe you did something that your partner feels they wanted to get you back for.
  4. Appearance – Are you keeping your fashion and hairstyle up to what it used to be?
  5. Fitness – Letting yourself go could lead to your partner looking for slimmer more attractive partners
  6. Boredom – Perhaps your partner is just bored of the same old mundane routines.
  7. Fantasies – Have you ever shared your fantasies with your man?  Or have you asked what his were? If you’re insecure about your fantasies, you should check out the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It will open your eyes to some of the fantasies women have and show you that it is normal.
  8. Looking for an Escape – Maybe your partner just wanted out of the relationship and cheating was an easy way to end it.
  9. Emotional Connection – Are you still communicating with your partner on an emotional level? Men do want that emotional connection with someone too.
  10. Business – Maybe a sexual relationship developed in order to help secure a business deal.
  11. Loneliness – Are you out of town a lot? Or is your partner?
  12. Proximity – Busy men tend to have affairs with women who they are close with everyday. This is the old cheating with your secretary cliché.
  13. Reproduction – If a man can impregnate another woman without anyone else ever knowing, they will try and take that chance. How wouldn’t anyone else know? Maybe the woman was cheating too, and now her partner will raise a child who isn’t actually his. 10% of the people in the world today actually have a father who is different than who they think it is.
  14. Depression – In the midst of stumbling blocks or failures, men may turn to other women to seek out validation.
  15. Adrenaline – Some people get off on the exhilaration of possibly getting caught.
  16. Health – When you have sex your brain releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that have positive effects on your overall well-being.
  17. Orgasmic Ability – You may think this falls on your partner, but it is really more of a mental thing that prevents some women from having orgasms. If you’re interested in becoming more orgasmic or better in bed, check out the books The G-Spot and The Big O.
  18. Abuse – Are you mentally abusive to your man?
  19. It Doesn’t Count – This is the vacation effect. Have you ever been to Las Vegas? What happens there stays there, right? I’ve been living in Las Vegas for the past two weeks and have seen it first hand.
  20. Stronger Bond – It could be that your man has formed a stronger bond with someone else and your relationship has run its course.
  21. Infrequent Sex – Maybe you are not fulfilling your partner’s sexual needs.
  22. Physically Unavailable – Back in college I came down with mono and wasn’t able to be with my girlfriend sexually for a while. She ended up cheating on me.
  23. Career Boost – As men become more successful in life, more and more women are attracted to them. With more options than before, men may look to try and trade up to a higher quality partner.
  24. Lifestyle – It could be the person they are cheating on you with offers them a lifestyle that is more conducive to the one they want to live.
  25. Ego – Perhaps your partner just wants to prove to the world they can have what they want when they want it. 

Clearly, there are a variety of surface-level reasons as to why someone might cheat. The important thing to realize though is that someone cheating on you is not necessarily a personal attack on you.

It is also important to realize that if someone is prone to cheating, there are not any magic bullets that will prevent him from doing so. The only thing you can do is work on being the best version of yourself possible while bringing value and good emotions to the relationship.

If the person still wants to cheat at that point, I’d say it has more to do with them and their own issues.

I’ve been devastated in the past by cheating girlfriends, and it wasn’t until I realized these things that I was able to come to terms with what happened and view the world in a new way. Unfortunately, cheating is just part of life.

About the author

Brandon Douglas

I'm a 27-year old US citizen who has been living in Vancouver, BC the last two years, rising quickly in the corporate world. After a near-death experience last fall and lots of soul searching, I have quit that career to pursue my dreams of being an actor and dating coach.

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  • my wife has asked me the same question…. first when we 1st started dating and a month ago again… here is my response:

    All Alpha-males have an innate drive to sleep with many women. If you ask an A-male how many would he sleep with he would respond “all of them as long as their hot”. Therefore, if a woman is in a relationship with an A-male she should find a way to regulate the sexual relations with other women.
    Historically the most common way to regulate the sexual relations of the A-male was to force him to marry the women, or take them as concubines if he was already married (if not the family of the women would lynch him). In Christian countries the A-man would have mistresses he would financially support outside his home, since marriage was outlawed by Cannon Law. Now its just chaos, the A-man just sleeps around.
    It is up to the couple to find a way that they can regulate A-male’s sex. I told her the only time I would sleep with another women is when all three of us are living together.
    (If, however, the woman is dating a Beta-man she can easily guilt/threaten him into not doing cheating…)