When a Pisces man is using you, it’s not with cruelty or coldness — it’s through confusion. He makes you believe in love’s magic again, drawing you into his world with tenderness, empathy, and promises that feel genuine. His eyes hold emotion, his voice feels sincere, and his attention is intoxicating.
But when you need consistency, he fades like mist. One moment, he’s your soulmate; the next, he’s unreachable.
This is how Pisces men use without realizing they’re doing it. They’re dreamers who crave comfort, not confrontation. When they’re lost or lonely, they reach for whoever feels safe — and if that’s you, you’ll become his emotional anchor. He’ll depend on your love to stay afloat but offer little stability in return.
I’m Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer and author of Pisces Man Secrets. For over two decades, I’ve helped women understand how a man’s zodiac reveals not only his desires but his emotional blind spots. And when it comes to Pisces, the danger isn’t manipulation — it’s emotional escapism. His sensitivity makes him irresistible, but it can also make him unreliable.
If you’ve been loving a Pisces who keeps slipping away, these eight emotional signs will help you see the truth — and protect your heart from drifting too far out to sea.
1. He’s Everything You Want — Until You Need Something Back
At first, a Pisces man mirrors your emotions beautifully. He listens deeply, remembers details, and makes you feel truly understood. He’s intuitive — he senses your moods before you speak them. But over time, that connection starts to feel one-sided. You notice that he thrives on your emotional energy, yet when you need the same understanding, he withdraws.
This is a classic pattern of a Pisces man using you. He’s drawn to emotional warmth like a moth to light, but when the relationship requires effort, he gets overwhelmed. His empathy is real, but it’s passive — he absorbs your feelings but doesn’t help carry them. You end up soothing his pain, encouraging his dreams, and forgiving his distance, while your own needs quietly fade.
It’s not that he’s heartless; he just prefers the feeling of being loved to the work of loving back. And if you don’t notice the imbalance early, you’ll wake up realizing that all your nurturing has turned into his comfort zone.
2. He Confuses Pity With Love
Pisces men have a savior complex. They feel drawn to people who seem wounded, misunderstood, or in need of care — but they also like being the one who’s cared for. When he’s using you, he blurs those roles so subtly that you don’t even notice it happening. He might share stories of his hardships, his toxic ex, his self-doubt, and his exhaustion — and you, with your compassionate heart, start playing healer.
Soon, you’re reassuring him, protecting him, and defending him when others don’t understand. You start to feel responsible for his emotional well-being. But here’s the truth: love built on pity isn’t love — it’s codependency.
A Pisces man using you feeds on emotional sympathy. He enjoys the comfort of being cared for but rarely does the inner work to heal. His vulnerability keeps you close because it feels real — and in some ways, it is — but it’s not partnership. It’s emotional escapism disguised as connection.
You can’t heal someone who’s addicted to being saved.
3. He Promises Change Every Time You Pull Away
Pisces men hate confrontation. When you call him out on his inconsistency, he won’t fight — he’ll apologize. He’ll say, “You’re right, I’ve been distant,” or “I don’t want to lose you, I just get scared.” The sincerity in his voice melts your anger, and suddenly, you’re comforting him again.
But nothing truly changes. A week later, he’s back to being distracted or moody. That’s because he confuses guilt with growth. When a Pisces man is using you, his apologies are emotional resets, not solutions. He doesn’t want to hurt you — he just wants to avoid feeling like the bad guy. So he says what you need to hear, but only enough to keep the peace.
He’s not lying when he says he loves you; he’s just saying it to quiet the storm. Pisces men are emotional shape-shifters — they reflect what you need in the moment, but once the tension fades, they drift back into comfort. It’s not cruelty; it’s emotional immaturity.
The key is to watch whether his words create change or just calm you down. Love isn’t measured by promises — it’s measured by follow-through.
4. His Sadness Always Comes First
Pisces men carry deep emotional oceans inside them. They feel everything — their own pain, the world’s pain, and sometimes yours. That sensitivity is what makes them so magnetic, but it also gives them an escape route when they don’t want to take responsibility. When he’s using you, his sadness becomes the center of every problem.
You’ll start to notice that no matter what you’re going through, his emotions overshadow yours. If you’re upset, he becomes more upset. If you express frustration, he turns it into guilt: “I can’t believe I made you feel that way.” It sounds like remorse, but it’s not — it’s deflection.
It’s how he shifts attention away from accountability.
This is the emotional trap of a Pisces man using you. His vulnerability disarms you; you can’t stay mad at him because you know he’s fragile. But real vulnerability invites healing, not manipulation. You can’t always protect his heart if he’s using it to protect himself from growth.
Love shouldn’t require shrinking your pain so his can take center stage.
5. He Disappears When Reality Gets Heavy
The Pisces man is ruled by Neptune — the planet of illusion, fantasy, and escape. He lives in a world of emotion and imagination, and when love is easy, he’s all in. But the moment things get complicated, he slips away. When a Pisces man is using you, he doesn’t vanish to be cruel; he vanishes because he can’t handle the weight of expectation.
He’ll disappear when you ask for clarity, commitment, or effort. He won’t argue — he’ll fade quietly, leaving your messages unanswered and your heart waiting. Then, once the emotional dust settles, he reappears, acting as though nothing happened. He might say, “I just needed to clear my head,” or “I was overwhelmed.” And because his tone is gentle and sincere, you forgive him.
But this pattern is his way of keeping control without confrontation. It allows him to enjoy the emotional closeness without dealing with responsibility. Pisces men love the dream of love — but when the dream starts asking for structure, they retreat. If he keeps drifting away every time you need something solid, he’s not lost; he’s escaping accountability.
6. He Uses Sensitivity to Avoid Accountability
Pisces men are emotional empaths. They pick up on your energy, your tone, your pain — and they know how to use that sensitivity to shape a situation. When a Pisces man is using you, he turns his sensitivity into a shield. You try to express how you feel, and instead of listening, he takes it personally. “You think I’m a terrible person,” or “I can never do anything right.”
Suddenly, you’re the one comforting him again. What began as a conversation about your feelings becomes another moment where you’re taking care of his. He doesn’t do this to manipulate consciously — it’s just how he avoids facing discomfort. Pisces men struggle with guilt, and rather than confront it, they shift it.
This emotional deflection makes you feel like the villain for simply asking for respect. But love isn’t about protecting someone’s feelings at the cost of your own peace. When he uses his pain as protection, you’ll start walking on eggshells to keep him calm — and that’s not romance, it’s emotional imbalance.
The Pisces man who truly loves you listens even when it hurts. The one who’s using you hides behind sensitivity so he never has to grow.
7. His Words Feel Deep — But Lead Nowhere
No one speaks about love like a Pisces man. He’s poetic, tender, and effortlessly romantic. His words pull you in like a current — you believe every line because he believes it too. But when the words don’t match his actions, it becomes one of the most painful ways a Pisces man uses you.
He might say things like, “You’re the only one who understands me,” or “I’ve never felt this way before.” He’ll talk about destiny, soulmates, and the future — but when it comes time to take real steps, he hesitates. It’s as if the fantasy of love excites him more than love itself.
Pisces men often fall in love with the feeling of being in love. They express emotion beautifully, but sustaining it requires discipline — something their mutable nature struggles with. You start realizing his passion burns brightest when it’s impossible, unstable, or fading. Once you ask for something tangible, he gets quiet.
His love stories always sound like beginnings, never commitments. And if you keep mistaking his poetic promises for plans, you’ll stay stuck in a dream he never intends to finish writing.
8. You’re Always Waiting for the Version He Used to Be
At the start, your Pisces man was everything you’d hoped for — intuitive, attentive, full of love. But lately, he’s harder to reach. He’s moody, inconsistent, and emotionally unpredictable. You find yourself holding onto memories of how it used to feel, hoping he’ll return to that gentle version of himself.
That’s the final, most painful sign of a Pisces man using you — when you’re more in love with his potential than his presence. He knows you see the best in him, and he relies on that faith to keep you near. Every small act of affection feels like proof that the man you fell for is still there. But in truth, he’s giving you just enough to keep your hope alive.
Pisces men don’t use people for power or control; they use through avoidance. They’d rather drift between affection and absence than face the truth that they’re not ready to love you the way you deserve. The man you met in the beginning was real — he just can’t sustain that version of himself long-term unless he grows emotionally.
When his love starts feeling like nostalgia, it’s time to let go. You can’t keep waiting for a man who’s already swimming away.
Before You Go
Pisces men love deeply — but they love in waves. When they’re present, they flood you with tenderness. When they’re lost, they vanish into themselves. If you’ve been caught in this rhythm, remember: it’s not your job to rescue him from his own depth. Compassion is beautiful, but it can’t replace boundaries.
When a Pisces man values you, he won’t need constant forgiveness to stay in your life. He’ll swim toward you, not away from you. Don’t confuse his emotion for effort — real love requires both.
Find Out What His Heart Is Hiding
If you’ve been wondering whether your Pisces man truly loves you or just needs you, it’s time to know for sure.
Take my Does He Love Me? guide to uncover what he’s really feeling behind those tender words.
To learn how to reach his heart in a way that inspires lasting loyalty, read Love Secrets — it shows you how to balance empathy with strength so you never lose yourself again.
And for a deeper look at your romantic chemistry, take the Astrology Attraction Quiz — it reveals the hidden patterns that pull certain men toward you.
You can also explore this next:
Are Pisces Men Selfish?
Tell me in the comments — has your Pisces man ever promised the world but disappeared when it mattered most?
With love,
Your sister and relationship astrologer,
Anna Kovach
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