Relationships

How To Stop Attracting The Wrong Men

Opposites attract, yet the same attraction could become disastrous. Discover how to stop attracting the wrong men by defining addiction and overcoming it.

A bad relationship is something women cannot see. If family and friends see it, then denial is our answer. The need for love is so strong women are forgoing the correct method.

“As long as someone loves me, that's all that matters.” Remaining in bad relationships traps you in a horrible web with no way out. If women are aiming for the dream family and picket fences, stop attracting the wrong men and break the cycle.

To break the vicious cycle of bad relationships, start by uncovering bad relationship patterns. Emotionally step away from the situation and return to it unattached.

This ensures objective and unbiased analysis. Take the analysis and forge realistic solutions. Easier said than done, we agree. However, self-blame, acceptance, and problem-solving resolutions are how to stop attracting the wrong men. First, we must learn the signs.

Signs of a bad relationship

annoyed woman talking to a man

A bad relationship is, unfortunately, bad from beginning to end. This is tough to admit. It seems like everything is fine, but the warning signs show up, and our defense mechanism is to ignore it.

It gets worse (not better) until someone has to pull out. The relationship ends only for women to grab the next man similar to the previous one.

Yet, women swear that the significant other has a different personality. The relationship ends badly again only for women to find another similar to the previous two and swear he's different.

Unfortunately, all significant others share one trait. That trait is the source of the bad relationship. Pull out of bad relationships by understanding how to stop attracting the wrong men. All bad relationships have one or more of the following:

• Your man is physically abusive and/or verbally abusive.

• The man is controlling, and you walk on eggshells trying not to make him mad. He's not violent, but you're afraid of him.

• The man is controlling and overprotective. This scary-selfish man is always monitoring you. Additionally, he isolates you from friends and family.

• Both parties are in a power struggle, fighting for control. Relationships are about equal partnership, and instead, the relationship is more about a seesaw tug-of-war.

• Arguments are the main thing fueling the relationship. Consistent misunderstandings and disagreements lead to more arguments, not understanding.

• The relationship revolves around “scoring points” or “one-upmanship.”

It's not you – it's me

In some instances, a bad relationship doesn't revolve around negative things. Women date people to please others or to ease past burdens. The truth is you're just not into him.

The relationship is for public display or self-completion. Learn how to stop attracting the wrong men by seeking within for these warning signs.

• He literally makes you sick. Every vision of the man results in throwing up, queasiness, dizziness, fainting, chest pains, ulcers, or flare-ups

• You don't trust him. You keep secrets from him, won't have sex with him, and/or turn to everyone for emotional support except him.

• Saying ‘no' is forbidden or not respected.

• He's only in the relationship for one thing – sex, beauty, money, or connections – and you accept the terms.

• The relationship feels like a chore and you dragging your feet to continue. This comes from a happy relationship turning sour for various reasons and it never goes back to happiness and stability.

• The relationship is the solution to fix or avoid traumatic personal upbringing issues. Examples are selecting male protectors because you are seeking a father figure and accepting abuse because that's the household standard growing up.

How to stop attracting the wrong men

black couple arguing

Do one or more warning signs apply to you? Answer this question objectively without the support group. Admittance takes courage, and if you can admit it, it's the first step. Now, allow these solutions to teach you how to stop attracting the wrong man.

• Take a break from the dating world. Damaged or drained spirits will benefit from leaving the dating world. Focus on activities and hobbies you enjoy.

Use the time away to analyze each failed relationship and have a plan of action to approach the next one. Build confidence to be whole within you without a man present. A man adds to fulfillment, not complete some puzzle.

• Change your attitude in relationships. Bossy, jealous, over-critical, insecure, or untrustworthy personalities never keep a man because their attitude is hindering. Stop belittling, changing, punishing, and/or analyzing him. Enjoy him for him.

• Practice self-forgiveness. Whatever happened in previous relationships should never affect new relationships. Regardless of who's to blame, forgive yourself for any wrongdoing. Allow yourself to accept responsibility for the relationship failing and vow to have an open mind in the new relationship.

• Proceed with caution when relationships are moving toward a recognizable pace. Think about where it led. If it isn't positive, stop and communicate with him about it to ensure the endgame doesn't repeat.

Give the relationship an opportunity to change course. If nothing is working, you must part ways. This is also true for familiar locations, attitude, and warning signs.

• Change dating type. Discover the link between all the exes. Then, ensure the next man has none of the traits by asking questions and evaluating his answers. Then, investigate his family to ensure he doesn't have similar upbringings to previous exes.

• Lean on support groups after you leave the relationship. This is important. Women rely on others to escape only to return to the toxic relationship. When you choose to leave a bad relationship, it is permanent because the decision originated from you.

What to keep in mind

Bad relationships are an addiction. Women love the comfort zone. These solutions are the relationship version of the nicotine patch. Take the advice and quit.

However, consistency is the missing ingredient in how to stop attracting the wrong men. Women must think before grabbing the first man that shows us attention.

Ask questions casually (no interrogations or interviews), remember past failed relationships, and send men packing who are reminders of failed relationships or trigger the addiction.

Venture into new territory while being aware and avoiding past mistakes. It's the only solution to finding a stable, healthy, and lasting relationship.

What are your solutions to stop attracting the wrong men? Encourage readers stuck in this situation to get out of the never-ending web and seek happiness.

Since many women are in this situation and may or may not realize it, share this advice on all social media channels. Provide inspiration about how to stop attracting the wrong men with this article. Break the vicious cycle of bad relationship woes. It's the only way.

About the author

Tonya Jones Reynolds

A professional writer with years of experience, I like adding my personal spin on various topics. I worked in various marketplaces like Textbroker and Blogmutt.

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