A first date might seem overwhelming and intimidating, especially if it’s a blind date or friendly set-up. But preparing for a first date can be simple and fun instead of stressful.
Rather than trudging through boring conversation and awkward hugs, get yourself ready to enjoy your date, no matter what happens.
Whether you end up meeting your soul-mate or not, here are 8 secrets to get you ready for a perfect first date – each and every time.
1. Dress for you
When picking out a first date outfit, it’s natural to think about the other person. While you want to be presentable and attractive, you also should feel at ease.
In other words, don’t dress for him or her – dress for you. This will set the tone for the entire day.
Pick a shirt you love and slip on jeans with a little breathing room. Most importantly, focus on choosing an outfit that makes you feel comfortable and confident. You’ll be more relaxed if you’re wearing something that represents you.
Chances are, you’ll look fantastic in it, too.
2. Find your authenticity before the first date
Just like dressing for you boosts confidence and ease, so does acting like your true self. Before you head out on a first date, think about what’s important to you and what your values are.
This step will save you tons of future heartache, because knowing who you are is essential to finding who you’re supposed to be with. Being genuine and authentic will help you avoid wasting time on someone who doesn’t mesh with your interests, values, and personality.
As an added bonus, you’ll be a more interesting date, too! People crave originality and are drawn to those who know exactly who are they are.
3. Ensure your safety
When you’re arranging your date, be sure to play it safe. Choose a public place to meet. Don’t let your date pick you up – not only because it may not be safe, but because it reduces any obligation afterward.
If you arrive separately, you can also escape a horrible first date if you need to.
In addition, communicate your whereabouts with someone. Be sure to tell your mom, neighbor, or best friend where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and at what time. Let them know when you’ve made it home safely.
4. Stay sharp
No matter how cute your date is, be alert for the whole night. If you need to, drink a cup of coffee beforehand or set a drink limit for yourself.
Plan an exit strategy ahead of time – even if it’s just a halfway legitimate-sounding one. Remember that you owe your date nothing. Give yourself permission to end a date early, especially if you’re feeling uneasy.
If a guy asks you to come inside his apartment, you don’t have to say yes, even if you’re interested in him. A second date is always available to test the waters further. Don’t let your guard down or put yourself in an unsafe situation.
If you want to take things slow, take them slow. If you’re considering moving faster, consider the pros and cons of sleeping with someone on the first date.
5. Clear your mind of expectations
A first date is a great way to meet someone – plain and simple. The person you meet might be your future partner, or someone you’ll dodge in the grocery store.
It’s natural to build stories in our minds about when the wedding will happen or how dreadful the night’s going to be. Consider first dates as a fun event: a time to meet someone new and have interesting conversation. Doing this will put you at ease and take the pressure off.
Empty your mind of expectations and hold on for the ride, wherever it may take you.
6. Brainstorm casual conversation topics
Heading into an hour or two of conversation can be nerve-racking. Sometimes it’s hard to think of topics on the spot, especially on a first date. Perhaps your brain freezes under pressure, or your date is an introvert.
Prepare a few casual conversation ideas and questions in advance. Having some fall-back topics to talk about can swiftly end awkward silence or calm nerves. The best subjects are those that excite you, such as your hobbies, interests, and passions.
7. Give yourself a pep talk
Entering a first date with your head held high is key to having a perfect first date, no matter the outcome.
One of the best ways to do this is by giving yourself a pep talk.
When you’re in the shower or dowsing your lashes in mascara, talk yourself up like a basketball coach before a big game.
Your pep talk might sound like, “You can do this! No matter what, it’s only an hour of your life. Just enjoy, and have fun!” Or, “You are beautiful, brilliant, and interesting! If he can’t see it, he’s not the right match for you.”
Building yourself up will give you a boost of confidence and ease when you walk into a restaurant or coffee shop. If you need to, you can escape to the bathroom during the date to give yourself a half-time talk.
It might sound strange, but it works. Talk yourself up. Be your own friend.
8. Believe the right person is out there
Whether the night ultimately leads you down the aisle, or you wind up not jiving with your date, know that each step and each person you meet is a necessary part of your journey.
Try not to let negative experiences affect your next date. Maybe by going on dates you fine tune your conversation skills or gain a connection to a new organization. You never know when or how you’re going to meet your match. You have to keep trying and believe the right person is out there. Why? Because they are.
With these secrets to a perfect first date, you’ll have the confidence and know-how to enjoy any dinner or coffee shop meet-up.
Have any friends going on first dates soon? Be sure to share these secrets with them. And if you have any first date tips, we’d love to hear about them in the comments!
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