It takes two parties to make a relationship work. No matter how deep your love is, it can be heartbreaking and soul wrenching if your feelings aren’t reciprocated.
Sometimes, when your feelings for your significant other are so raw and intense, you can easily be blinded. Your emotions can overrule your brain (which isn’t supposed to be the case), and you end up rationalizing for them to save the relationship.
It’s time to wake you from your fantasy. Here are 7 surefire signs that your relationship is already over.
It can be as simple as checking each other’s private messages on social media or going through the call log on each other’s mobile phones.
It’s over when you sneak and snoop on each other’s private business. This is a clear indication that you have trust issues. And you know what they say about relationships without trust: It’s like a car without gas. It’s there, but it’s not going to go anywhere.
Unless the secret is kept from your partner for his or her eventual good (which rarely ever happens), relationships with secrets are not relationships at all. As they say, a true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything.
So, if you or your partner feels the need to hide something from the other person, thinking that nobody can handle the truth, it signals your turn onto Break Up Road.
Whether it’s a white lie or a major lie, lying to each other in a relationship is just not acceptable. Big or small, lies are lies. You lie because you don’t want the other person to find out the truth. Why would you hide the truth from somebody you care about? You see, that’s a major problem right there. And you know what they say about a single lie: it’s enough to create doubt in every truth. If both parties doubt each other, the relationship is over.
Early in the relationship, you agree with almost everything in life, from the trivial things to the biggest decisions.
However, when the time comes that you can’t settle any heated argument and disagreement without having to scream at each other in your most hostile voice and using your most spiteful words, you have to consider what has changed.
You have to reevaluate yourself, your partner and the relationship. If you think that your relationship is a battlefield and your partner is the adversary instead of the ally, it’s a sign that you have to call it quits.
After a busy day at school or work, you look forward to seeing your partner and spending time with them when the relationship is still fresh and new. There’s even a time when you can’t bear a minute without them, which can be a little exaggerated but you know love and what it can do.
Now, the thought of having to see them stresses the hell out of you. You will avoid any interaction with them if possible because of the stress you feel when you’re together physically but your hearts are thousand miles apart. When your partner has become the major source of your stress on a daily basis, you have to think the relationship over.
Your relationship is not a game where you keep score of each other’s work and contributions. It’s a give-and-take process. If you remind each other again and again about you doing the laundry for both of you last week so it’s their turn this week, or him cooking last night so you must cook tonight, then expect the game to be over sooner than later.
No kisses. No neck nuzzles. No “I love you” exchanges. No XOXO even in text messages. No more I-just-called-to-say-I-love-you moments. No more HHWW on the road. No more exchange of compliments and sweet nothings. In short, you or your partner have stopped making an effort to make each other feel special, appreciated and loved. You’ve become more business partners than a romantic couple.
If any of these things have become the norm in your relationship, you have to find time to sit down and talk it over. If both of you are willing to give it a shot, then do it. Your relationship is worth a second chance if you have mutual feelings on giving it another try. However, if your partner doesn’t show any sign of willingness to make it work, and has only stayed in the relationship because he has not yet found a rebound, end the relationship as soon as you can.
Life happens and things can go wrong any time in a relationship. This may lead to a road where you and your partner have to part ways. It is going to be painful, but if you don’t leave now, when will you leave?
By staying in a relationship that doesn’t work any longer, you are sabotaging your chance at being with someone who’s right for you. Stop justifying your partner’s actions just to convince yourself it will still work out when the truth is it won’t.
Do not ignore the signs. More importantly, do not let the break up break you down.
How do you know your relationship is over? Do you think it’s worth staying in a relationship where the behaviors discussed above have become the norm? Share your thoughts in the comments section. I’d love to hear what you think.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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