Do opposites really attract? Maybe you believe this, maybe you don’t, but the thing is that people tend to say that the more different you are from your partner, the better your relationship will be.
You’re supposed to balance each other out and keep things interesting. The idea is that if you and your boyfriend are too similar, you’re going to get bored fast and things aren’t going to be exciting.
But on the flip side, what if you have nothing in common with your boyfriend and it’s actually ruining your relationship? What do you do when you really love each other but it doesn’t seem like those strong feelings and your bond are enough to save you?
Don’t worry, you don’t have to break up. You can make your relationship work. Read on to find out how to deal when you have nothing in common with your boyfriend.
1) Learn the art of compromise
What do you do when you love romantic comedies and your boyfriend won’t see anything except for an action flick? Sure, you can go to the movies separately and see your beloved rom coms with your best friend.
And he can take his brother to the cinema instead. But that’s not a great way to go since you want to actually spend time together since you’re a couple.
If you want to know what to do when you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, you have to learn the art of compromise. That means that sometimes, you each go see the latest Jennifer Aniston comedy, and another Friday night, you head to the movies to see the latest James Bond film.
Neither one of you has to be totally happy about it – you can’t exactly pretend to be someone that you’re not or like something that you just don’t – but at least you will be spending time together. That’s honestly the most important thing right now.
2) Take an interest in each other’s hobbies
You don’t have to do Crossfit just because your boyfriend does, and he might not share your passion for getting creative in the kitchen. But that almost doesn’t matter.
If you’re wondering what to do when you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, think about taking an interest in each other’s hobbies. It doesn’t mean that you have to completely change who you are or what you like to do in your free time. And he doesn’t have to do that, either. That’s not the goal here.
You just want to prove to the other person that you love each other, you care about each other, and you’re totally committed to making the relationship work. That means caring about what the other person cares about. Think about what this means for you.
Maybe you want to accompany your boyfriend to a workout on Sunday mornings (even if you hate it, you don’t have to tell him that – it can totally be your little secret). And maybe he can cook a new recipe with you once a week, even if he’s worried that he’s going to burn something the entire time.
Once you can focus on hanging out together instead of how different you two are, you’re going to have fun and forget about what you were worried about in the first place.
3) Make new memories
Just because you two have nothing in common doesn’t mean that you have to break up. It doesn’t mean that you won’t share new experiences together and make new memories.
Go ahead and plan some weekend trips to a fun city and a longer trip to Europe or another fabulous place that you two have been dreaming of visiting. You will make new memories and discover new things that you both love.
Maybe you each have a love for wine or food or art that you never even knew about. And then you will finally have something in common and can share that passion going forward. You just never know.
The thing is that you can’t complain that you and your guy have absolutely nothing in common if you don’t try new things and have new experiences.
4) Live in the past
Okay, not really, but you do want to take a trip down memory lane on a regular basis if you’re wondering what to do when you and your boyfriend have nothing in common.
You’re together for a reason, right? So what brought you two together in the first place? Do you share a common bond from meeting at school or at work? That would mean that you had something in common at one point in your relationship.
If that’s the case, then you might want to rekindle that spark and try to form that bond once again. If you met working on your college newspaper, for instance, maybe you two want to discuss politics and journalism more often.
5) Do some digging
If you are together because of explosive chemistry and a real physical attraction, then that’s okay too. It just means that it’s time for you two to discover what else you have in common beyond the fact that you are definitely made for each other.
Sure, the physical stuff is great, but you need to do some digging and try to figure out another reason for you two to be a couple. It can’t be all hooking up and making out.
You definitely want to talk to your boyfriend and find out how he feels about the whole situation. Maybe you’re making something out of nothing and he doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong. Or maybe he feels the lack of connection as well and you two can work together to make things better.
6) Think about what is truly important
What matters more to you: having a boyfriend who agrees with everything that you say and do and who watches all the same TV shows as you and reads the same books? Or having a boyfriend who is different from you, sure, but who you definitely love and respect?
You probably agree that the latter is a better life partner. And since you can’t change people, especially not guys (but you probably already knew that), you might as well come to terms with who he is and who you are as well.
If you realize that you two get along, can still have regular and fun conversations, and have enough to do as a couple, then maybe the fact that you don’t have much in common doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you can relate to each other and talk about the things that are important to you.
The truth is that just because you don’t have tons of things in common and don’t share the same interests and hobbies doesn’t mean that you can’t understand each other.
Of course, if that is what’s happening, then you probably want to break up because no one deserves that and no one needs that in their life or their relationship. But hopefully, you feel that you really are compassionate toward each other.
7) Create a routine
Why not create a new routine with your boyfriend? If you’re wondering what to do when you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, this is a great way to go.
You can each read your own preferred genre of book at a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. You can cook a fun brunch on a Sunday morning while he goes to work out if that’s what he loves to do (and there’s definitely no shame in admitting that you don’t love the gym, especially not on the weekend).
You can still spend time together and feel like you’re having quality couple time, you’ll just each be doing what you want.
Or maybe your routine can be that you go out for dinner with friends every Monday night to start the week off on the right foot or you have a joint family dinner on Thursday evenings. This will help bond you as a couple and help you both have something fun and positive to look forward to.
Relationships are always complicated, and sometimes there is just too much work involved to make the whole thing, well, work. But if you and your boyfriend have nothing in common but you really, really love each other, you don’t have to go your separate ways.
That would be more devastating than anything else. These tips should help you figure out what to do when you and your boyfriend have nothing in common.
Have you ever dated someone that you didn’t have much or anything in common with? How important do you think shared interests are in a romantic relationship? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
Great article! As someone who is dating a guy with completely different tastes (and also age difference) is can certainly get VERY frustrating. I’d like to add an advice of my own… I think most men (and women) are obstinate about likes and dislikes, in order to overcome that, we have to be WILLING to get rid of the pre-conceived notions of dislikes and likes, start from a Maybe rather than start from a No. Halloween is a good example: If he doesn’t like Halloween, do your best to show him a good time, if he love Cars, try to see if there’s a costume party at a car show for example or anything that you know he will enjoy. Even a better idea if you can make his friends your acomplices! He might end up enjoying himself by the end of the night. Compromise and communication are the key to sucessful relationships.