Have you ever wondered if your Leo man’s affection is real — or if he’s just keeping you around because it feels good for him?
When a Leo man is using you, you’ll feel caught between passion and confusion. He showers you with compliments, lights up every room he enters, and makes you feel like the only woman who matters… until the attention fades and you’re left questioning what’s real.
Hi, I’m Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer and author of Leo Man Secrets. For over two decades, I’ve helped thousands of women decode men’s behavior through astrology — and I can tell you, when a Leo man uses someone, it’s rarely out of cruelty. It’s out of ego.
He needs admiration the way most people need oxygen. But if you’re not careful, you’ll end up fueling his confidence while your own burns out.
Let’s dive into how to recognize when your Leo man’s charm is genuine — and when it’s manipulation disguised as love.
1. He Keeps You Hooked With Attention — But Never Depth
Leo men are ruled by the Sun — they crave attention like plants crave light. When he’s using you, he knows exactly how to shine just enough warmth to keep you near, without giving you the emotional depth you deserve.
At first, he’s magnetic. He’ll text you good morning, show up looking irresistible, and talk about the future in dazzling ways. But notice how everything stays surface-level. He might call you “baby” but never ask how you really feel. He might plan a night out, but it’s always on his terms.
When a Leo man is using you, he gives affection that’s bright but hollow. It’s like basking in sunlight that never warms your skin. You feel seen, but not understood. Loved, but not known. He does this because it’s easy — you feed his confidence without requiring emotional risk. And while part of him enjoys you, he’s ultimately chasing validation, not intimacy.
If you find yourself waiting for deeper conversations that never come, ask yourself: is he really connecting with me, or is he performing connection because it feels good to be adored?
2. He Needs You to Feed His Ego
A Leo man’s ego is both his strength and his weakness. He thrives when he feels admired — but if that admiration becomes the foundation of your relationship, he starts using you for it.
You’ll notice he comes alive when you praise him, but gets moody or distant when you don’t. Maybe you’ve noticed how every time you share your worries, he redirects the conversation back to himself — his plans, his goals, his image. It’s not that he doesn’t care; it’s that your role in his story is to admire him. When a Leo man is using you, he subtly teaches you to equate peace with flattery. You’ll start complimenting him just to keep things smooth. He may even become addicted to your emotional energy — especially if you’re nurturing or empathetic.
But here’s the truth: a man who’s truly invested in you doesn’t need you to worship him. He values your admiration, yes, but he also earns it through effort and consistency. Astrologically, Leo men who use others often have an immature or wounded Sun placement — they crave constant reassurance because they fear being ordinary. And so, they hold onto you not out of love, but out of fear that no one else will adore them quite like you do.
The test is simple: when you stop feeding his ego, does he come closer… or does he vanish?
3. You Always End Up Doing the Emotional Work
Leo men love to shine, but emotional maintenance is where they struggle most. When he’s using you, you’ll notice the balance shift slowly — you’re always the one fixing, forgiving, or explaining.
He’ll withdraw when things get serious, then reappear with charm and apologies that melt your resolve. You’ll tell yourself, “He’s just proud,” or “He needs time,” because he’s so charismatic when he wants to be. But behind that confidence, there’s a pattern: he expects you to carry the emotional load so he can stay comfortable.
You might find yourself overanalyzing his moods, making excuses for his silence, or texting first after every argument. And the more you do, the more he learns he doesn’t have to try. That’s the quiet way a Leo man uses you — not through obvious manipulation, but through emotional laziness disguised as charm.
What he won’t tell you is that this dynamic secretly flatters him. It proves how devoted you are, how much you’ll chase even when he retreats.
If you’re constantly the one restoring harmony, it’s not love — it’s emotional labor that’s become one-sided. And that’s not what your generous heart was meant for.
4. He Makes You Feel Special… Then Disappears
A Leo man knows how to make a woman feel like a queen. He’ll look you in the eyes like you’re the only person in the room. He’ll say things that hit right where your insecurities live, reassuring you in ways that feel healing. And then, just when you start believing this is something real — he’s gone.
This is one of the most painful ways a Leo man uses you: he builds emotional highs, then leaves you to crash alone. You might tell yourself he’s busy, overwhelmed, or scared of love. But look closely. When he’s truly invested, a Leo man shows up. His pride won’t let him risk losing what he values. So when he disappears after pouring on the affection, it’s a sign the warmth was more about control than connection.
This push-pull behavior keeps you hooked. The absence makes you crave his return — and when he finally resurfaces, you’re grateful for crumbs. It’s a subtle power play that feeds his ego while draining your self-worth. It’s not that Leo men are heartless. Often, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. They think, “She’ll understand,” or “She knows how I feel.” But love isn’t a performance; it’s presence. And if he only shows up when it’s convenient, that’s not a lover — that’s an audience seeking applause.
So ask yourself: are you his partner, or are you the mirror he uses to see how desirable he is?
5. He Uses Charm to Distract You From Red Flags
Leo men are masters of charm. It’s part of what makes them irresistible — that confident smile, the way he reaches for your hand like you’re already his. But when a Leo man is using you, that charm becomes a distraction.
Every time you start to question something — like his mixed signals, his flirtatious texts with other women, or his sudden mood swings — he disarms you with affection. He’ll say something disarmingly romantic, wrap his arms around you, or make you laugh so hard you forget what bothered you.
That’s not connection; it’s avoidance. And it’s one of the oldest Leo tactics in the book.
He doesn’t want confrontation, because it forces him to face where he’s falling short. His charm keeps him in control — it resets the stage and reminds you of how good it could be, instead of how bad it is.
The problem is that this pattern teaches you to ignore your instincts. You learn to accept inconsistency as passion and moodiness as mystery. But true strength in a Leo man comes from accountability — not how well he can flirt his way out of the truth.
The next time he charms you right after hurting you, pause. Ask yourself: am I melting because he’s changed… or because he’s trying to make me forget?
6. He Gets Defensive When You Ask for More
A healthy Leo man loves to rise to the occasion. If you tell him what you need, he’ll see it as a challenge and meet you there. But when a Leo man is using you, he reacts to vulnerability with defensiveness.
Try bringing up the fact that you feel undervalued — suddenly he’s offended. You might hear, “I’m doing my best,” or “You’re too sensitive.”
It’s his pride talking. Deep down, he knows you’re right, but admitting that would shatter the image he’s built. So instead of listening, he turns it into a competition: who’s more wrong, who’s more dramatic, who’s ruining the mood. You’ll leave the conversation doubting yourself while he walks away feeling righteous.
That’s how you know your Leo man is using you — he treats your emotional needs as threats to his comfort instead of opportunities for deeper love.
Astrologically, Leo’s fixed fire nature means he resists change. When his ego rules him, he can’t handle being told he’s not perfect. But the moment he stops defending and starts listening, that’s when he evolves into the loyal, devoted partner he can be.
If he’s not willing to meet you halfway, stop meeting him at all. Let silence show him what defensiveness cost him.
7. Astrology Never Lies — What His Chart Reveals About His Intentions
When you study astrology as long as I have, patterns jump out. There are clear differences between a Leo man who’s using you and a Leo man who’s genuinely falling in love.
A Leo man with a strong Sun and Venus alignment is usually confident and generous — he gives because it feels natural. But if his chart shows tension between the Sun and Pluto or a wounded Moon, he may crave validation to mask insecurity. That’s the Leo who uses people: the one who confuses admiration with affection.
Check his Mars sign too. A Leo man with Mars in Aries or Sagittarius tends to chase passion but struggle with consistency — great for excitement, not always great for emotional safety.
Meanwhile, a Leo with Venus in Cancer or Taurus is usually sincere and stable — if he’s using you, it’s out of fear of vulnerability, not manipulation. Astrology doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it explains why he acts that way. And when you understand the “why,” you stop personalizing the pain.
Sometimes a Leo man using you isn’t doing it consciously — he’s repeating old patterns from childhood or past relationships. But awareness is power. You can’t change his chart, but you can change your boundaries.
When his attention feels more draining than fulfilling, the universe is telling you something: it’s time to redirect your energy back to yourself.
8. When Walking Away Makes Him Finally See Your Worth
Here’s the paradox of the Leo man: he often doesn’t recognize value until it’s gone. When you finally walk away from a Leo man who’s been using you, that’s when the façade cracks.
At first, he’ll act like it doesn’t bother him — pride won’t let him show pain. But silence hurts his ego more than words ever could. A Leo man thrives on being the center of your world; when you stop orbiting him, his self-image starts to wobble.
And that’s when you’ll see his true colors. If there’s real love beneath the pride, he’ll humble himself. He’ll reach out, apologize, and ask what he can do to make things right. But if he was only using you, he’ll vanish — or worse, move on instantly just to prove he still has control.
Either way, walking away reveals the truth you couldn’t see when you were too close. It teaches him that you’re not another admirer — you’re the woman who stopped feeding his ego and started feeding her self-worth.
And that’s the energy a Leo truly respects. Because deep down, he doesn’t admire weakness — he admires courage. So when you stand tall and stop chasing, he’ll remember you as the one who saw through the act and chose herself.
Before You Go
If you’ve recognized yourself in these patterns, don’t blame your heart for caring. Leo men are captivating — their fire makes you feel alive, seen, wanted. But love shouldn’t burn you down just to keep him warm.
The good news? Astrology gives you tools to understand whether your Leo man is capable of growth or just looking for admiration.
You deserve a relationship where love is mutual — not conditional.
Ready to See the Truth About His Feelings?
If you’re tired of guessing what’s in his heart, you don’t have to wonder anymore.
Find out exactly where you stand with him using Anna’s Does He Love Me? guide — it reveals how your man really feels, even when he’s hiding it behind pride or mixed signals.
Or, if you want to understand the deeper psychology of men and stop falling for players who only use your kindness, read Love Secrets — it uncovers what men truly need to commit and how to make them open up emotionally.
And if you’re curious which zodiac sign matches your energy best, take the Astrology Attraction Quiz — it’s quick, fun, and spookily accurate.
For more insight into Leo’s complicated nature, explore this next:
Are Leo Men Selfish?
Tell me in the comments — have you ever realized too late that your Leo man was only using you?
How did you find the strength to walk away?
With love,
Your sister and relationship astrologer,
Anna Kovach
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