Relationships

Why It’s OK To Feel Stressed While Trying To Find A Boyfriend

Feeling stressed about dating? It’s not your fault. It’s just the way that modern dating is. Read on to find out why feeling this way is completely okay

If you feel super stressed out at the thought of going on another first date, don’t worry. It’s not you. It’s dating.

Between worrying about hook-up culture and trying to find someone that you click with and wondering which dating app is the best one, it’s no wonder that you don’t approach the search for love in a calm, cool and collected way.

You might not want to hear that being worried is normal. Unfortunately, there is no magic way to make dating easier. It’s a tricky, awkward, weird thing and that’s just the way that it is.

But sometimes, just knowing that the way that you feel is normal is enough to make you feel immediately better. It’s comforting. Read on to find out why it’s not possible to stay sane while dating today.

1) The choice is overwhelming

happy young woman thinking

Which dating app do you use? Do you use more than one? How many times a week should you use them? Should you use them every day? When you do use them, should you be the one to send the first message? How many messages should you send?

Whoa. That’s definitely a lot of questions. Unfortunately, since dating is so subjective and such a personal thing, there aren’t a lot of answers out there. You have to do what feels right for you and your life. You can ask your best friends and even Google for advice, but ultimately, it’s all on you.

Since there are so many choices, you’re going to feel overwhelmed, and all you can do is take a few deep breaths and accept it. Once you get into a groove and start going on more dates and meet the right guy, you won’t feel so stressed. But until then, it’s really no wonder that you don’t feel completely normal.

2) Dating is never simple

From deciding on a good first date spot to exchanging numbers to wondering how often to text (or even if you should text at all), there are a lot of decisions to make about your dating life.

You also have to decide whether you want to go on a second date, a third date, a fourth, and beyond. You have to see how you feel about this guy and figure out whether you get the feeling that he likes you as much as you like him… and that’s enough to give anyone a headache. Talk about stressful.

There’s a reason that you text your best friends about what to say to the guy that you have a crush on. Dating is tough. It’s confusing and awkward and can make you feel pretty crazy most of the time… but it’s all worth it once you fall in love.

Even though dating is so difficult, you don’t want to lose sight of the fact that you’re trying to find a cool person to share your life with. That’s a worthy goal.

3) You are trying to find the right person

Young woman making an exasperated expression gesture on a bad date at the restaurant

Do you think that finding the right person is going to be no big deal? Of course you don’t, right?

That’s what you wish would happen, but you know that’s not going to happen (at least not anywhere other than your dreams). Since you care about meeting the right guy, you want to make sure that you’re making a good decision.

You don’t want to date a jerk or someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You want to make sure that you share at least a few things in common and have the same attitude toward life. And if you both have a great sense of humor, that usually makes all of these things so much easier.

Remember that the search for the right guy and the right kind of love is not going to be anything but stressful. When you have your moments where you feel a bit nuts, don’t sweat it. Realize that it’s normal. And even be proud of it since it means that you’re on the right track.

4) The rules always seem to be changing

A year ago, did you know what breadcrumbing was? Two years ago, did you know what ghosting was? Maybe you did… but most likely you didn’t.

When it comes to dating, the rules always seem to be changing. One day it’s cool to text before the first date and the next, it’s not, and it could even set you up for total and complete failure.

There is so much information out there about modern dating and what the trends are and what’s popular and how people act. It’s hard not to get swept up in it and worry that you’re not dating “the right way.”

What’s the right way to date? There isn’t one. There honestly isn’t one. It’s normal to wonder about how you measure up, especially if you’re still on your own and are trying to find love, but you really don’t have to worry so much. If you can focus on yourself and your life, you will cut out the noise about dating in general.

5) There’s such thing as too much advice

Group Of Female Friends Meeting In Cafe Restaurant

Since there is so much chatter about dating these days, that means that there is a ton of advice. Whether you are reading articles about dating or getting advice from your best friends and family, you are always hearing what you should do and how you should act.

Of course, the people in your life mean well. They love you and care about you and want nothing more than your health and happiness. Unfortunately, there is such a thing as too much advice.

If you are single, you are definitely getting dating advice from these people all the time… and it’s going to stress you out. How could you not feel that way?

You don’t want to be so closed off to advise that you ignore things that could really help you on your journey… but you don’t want to listen to everything. That’s a recipe for disaster.

You just want to be aware that getting too much advice can make you feel insecure and like you don’t what you’re doing. That’s not actually the case. You do know what you’re doing. Remember that (and smile and say thank you because really, these people are just trying to help).

If you want dating to be easy, you are going to be disappointed. Instead of worrying about why you feel a lot of stress, start realizing that the search for love will have its ups and downs… and that’s totally okay.

Enjoy the journey, as people say, and keep your chin up. As long as you keep trying, you are going to find love, and it’s going to be amazing.

Do you think that dating is stressful? Do you have any tips for simplifying the process of finding love? Share your thoughts with us in the thoughts below!

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About the author

Aya Tsintziras

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.

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