There is the common saying of “opposites attract”, but do they really? Think about it this way, no matter who you are dating, you both must have at least a few things in common with one and other.
As much as the old quote “opposites attract” is tossed around, it is hard to imagine that this is something that can be true. Obviously, the other extreme is having another version of you as your partner. That is also not going to work and it is also not feasible
Meaning, the common ground that is best suited for any relationship is to have some common interests with certain things, but also enough differences as well.
After all, having those differences means you can both experience some firsts together, show each other different things, learn new things, and also do stuff you both love together.
Read on to learn what you should have in common with your partner, in order for you to have a healthy and strong relationship.
Kids
A very important thing to have in common with your partner is your idea on kids. If one of you is set on having kids and the other is not, then that is a major issue.
If you continue to be with this person who wants something that you do not want, you are wasting your time.
In the end, you will resent them and also find that you are feeling unfulfilled. Additionally, you both will also have lots of discussions and fights over this topic.
Social skills
If your partner is an extrovert and you are an introvert, or vice versa then there is an issue. This can be easily worked around. However, a good thing to have in common is the same social skills and social outing ideas. For example, if you want to go clubbing and they want to stay in, there will be plenty of troubles as you will find that this is a reoccurring problem.
Meaning, there will be a strain on your relationship because one of you will end up doing something that is not your thing. Additionally this will also lead to the two of you not doing anything together because of your different tastes.
Marriage
When looking at what you should have in common with your partner, the idea of marriage is a big one. You both need to be on the same page of where you stand for this subject.
After all, if one of you is against the idea of marriage and wants to just be together forever without a piece of paper saying you are in love. Whereas, the other partner has always dreamed of a massive wedding, then there is an issue.
Monogamy
No matter what stage of the relationship you and your partner are in together, this one is important. The best way to discuss this is to simply make sure you are exclusive and only for one and other.
If your partner is interested in exploring new people while also being with you (swinging), then it is time to reconsider being with them. This will be something that can cause a big wedge between the two of you, along with inciting jealousy, doubt, stress, or worry.
Motivation
If your partner is very lazy, or even very determined and you are the very opposite, then that certainly is not a match made in heaven. No matter who in the relationship has the drive, motivation, and desire for success compared to being lazy and slack, there will be issues.
In fact, there will be resentment, and other issues which will deteriorate your relationship in the long run. Meaning, you both need to have great drive and motivation, or both be more lazy and relaxed.
Future plans
When thinking about what you should have in common with your partner, it becomes apparent that you must have the same future plans. This way, if your partner wants to travel a lot, move from place to place, or even just settle from the get go, you need to be on the same page.
This way you will both be able to have your lives will line up. You will also be able to be together effortlessly. This is crucial to make sure your future plans line up, or you may be wasting your time and energy on a person who wants the very opposite from life compared to what you want.
Lifestyle
Similarly to the need to have future plans in common, you also need to have your lifestyle in common too. This too, is crucial because your lifestyle encompasses your life as a whole. You should see if your partner and you have similar lifestyles currently, and if you plan to have similar lifestyles in the future.
This is very important as this will show you if they want those lazy Sundays, busy weeks, bar hopping and clubbing nights, or hiking days.
It is best to be compatible in terms of this so that way you can actually be on the same page as your partner. Additionally, by having a compatible and matching lifestyle, you will have more quality time together.
Personality
This one thing that you must have in common with your partner, is one that you must figure out as every person is completely different. However, in terms of personality you need to make sure that you know the real them.
If you do, that means you have seen their true personality. You need to make sure your natural personality matches with their natural personality and is not going to constantly clash, cause issues, or make you resent or hate them.
Knowing what you should have in common with your partner is something that is very difficult. After all, every person is different and that makes every relationship unique, meaning some of this may not even matter to you and your partner. However, it is important to make sure that you are both compatible with each other by making sure you both want the same things in life.
Hobbies
This one is tricky. It is important to have different hobbies as this will give you both some space from each other, and also allow you to both stay true to yourselves.
However, it is also important to have hobbies that either line up together (mountain biking and photography), or hobbies that are exactly the same.
This way you can bond, through hobbies you both love, or through new hobbies as you teach your partner and also learn from your partner.
In the end, you should also make sure that on your list of must haves, you should have each other. As well, make sure you both share the same values, beliefs, and ideas on the topics that really matter to you and your partner.
After discussing where you and your partner stand on these topics, along with other important ones, it is important to be honest with yourselves. If you poke holes in one of these important topics to have in common and realise there are some underlying issues, then this may even reveal something more.
For example, you may then find out more about your personalities, lifestyle choices, or even future plans which are more different than your partners than you had thought.
If this is an issue it will then create a chain reaction where you may find more issues with these topics that you should have in common, but you actually don’t.
If you can think of any other advice or answers for people who are wondering what you should have in common with your partner, then feel free to share!
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