How to Find Mr. Right: What Are You Doing Wrong?

It’s crazy how some women (including me at one point) feel that they’ve already done everything they can possibly do to land in the arms of the right guy yet still almost always end up in the arms of Mr. Mistake-I-Wish-I-Didn’t-Make.

If you’re one of the many women who struggle with how to find Mr. Right, you may have wondered what you’re doing wrong. You may have felt that your efforts were all wasted and that ‘forever’ is nothing but life’s biggest (but not so funny) joke.

I once thought about this and realized that, in the long run, there really is someone out there who’s meant for each of us, so quitting isn’t acceptable.

Instead, we should check if our actions (or inaction) are appropriate. You’d be surprised to learn that there are some things that you consistently do (or fail to do) that cause you not to notice that Mr. Right is already in front of you.

1. Hating your personal appearance

You may be feeling insecure about your height, weight, nose or something else physical. This insecurity then breeds negativity, which results in you isolating yourself from your family, friends and social circles. When you do so, how can you expect to meet Mr. Right?

It’s time to drop the negative self-talk and start feeling good about yourself despite all your perceived flaws. You’re a work in progress and so is Mr. Right, so no need to worry about being and looking perfect all the time!

2. Trying too hard

Pulling desperate moves in hopes of attracting a guy you like won’t work. Don’t dress too provocatively, flirt excessively or do anything that will make guys run away from you. Remember, guys love competition and the chase. You’ll have a better chance of attracting the right guy if he sees you as a prize instead of someone who’s too available.

3. Not going out

This doesn’t mean that you should party each night or be out there in search of ‘The One.’ This simply means that despite how busy you may be, you should still find or make time to go out so that your chances of being seen by Mr. Right increase.

If you’re not comfortable going out alone, call your girlfriends and schedule a girls’ night out when it’s convenient for all of you. The more, the merrier!

4. Sticking to the same hangouts

It’s understandable if you feel that you should only get coffee, eat out or party in the same shops, restaurants or bars. However, if you really want to meet new people and stumble upon Mr. Right in the process, you should get out of your comfort zone.

Try out new restaurants, visit new coffee shops and hang out with your furry pal—if you have one—in new parks. Not only will doing this give you a fresh perspective, but you may even meet new (and nice) guys by changing sceneries.

5. Hanging out with your girlfriends too much

Yes, this may be a bit contradictory to the previous advice, but here’s the point: There are guys who’d be more comfortable approaching you if you weren’t always surrounded by a large crowd. With this said, aside from scheduling time for a girls’ night out, you should also go out alone. Try going to parks, malls or anywhere where you can hang out safely.

6. Getting rid of dates too quickly

If you’ve been in the dating pool for some time now, you know how the first couple of dates can feel awkward and unnatural.

Just because you weren’t immediately into the guy on the first or second date doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t see him anymore. Sometimes, it takes more than two dates to get to know a person well. So, depending on your gut feel, consider whether he’s worth your time and more dates in the future! Don’t write him off too quickly.

7. Having impossible expectations

It’s okay if you want someone tall, dark and handsome. However, you should also be open to the fact that Mr. Right may not fit all the expectations you have. What he lacks in some areas, he makes up in others, so give him a chance to prove himself because nobody has it all.

8. Settling down with whomever you meet

There may be times that you feel as if time is running out for you. When this thought overpowers your mind and heart, you’ll end up settling for any guy who comes along, which is the worst decision you can probably make. Don’t give up and don’t be with someone just for the sake of being with them. Remember, being single is not a bad thing, but being in the wrong relationship is.

If you’re sick and tired of being in search for your one true love, don’t be. Evaluate yourself and consider whether any of these factors are preventing you from finding Mr. Right. Then, work on changing your tactics to increase of chances of dating the right guys and then Mr. Right eventually. And then, when you finally find him, learn how to be the perfect girlfriend.

What are you doing that you believe is preventing you from finding Mr. Right? Share your thoughts in the comments.