Everyone has their own perception of what they would consider to be a “new relationship”. For me, I would consider the first three months of a relationship as a brand new stage of it, but some couples don’t even make it there, so that is why the perception of it is so relative.
Here are some helpful new relationship tips on what to do if you really want to make that new relationship last, and not crash and burn before it even has a chance to flourish.
1. Take it day by day
This one I have put first on the list, because it is extremely important. I feel as though we all know a girl that claims that the guy she is into is “the one” after the first date. Here is a little piece of advice: don’t be that girl.
There is nothing wrong with thinking that someone could wind up being really special in your life after the first date- sometimes you just get a good feeling. But in a new relationship, it is HIGHLY important to just take things day by day and avoid talking about future or even trying to.
I get it, sometimes, our minds can wander. Try not to jump to conclusions though and automatically start thinking about the future- that can get one’s hopes up very high and can sometimes lead to even more painful heartbreak.
It is also very important to take things day by day when talking to the person you are dating. As you know, talking about the future far too early can make someone back out of a relationship very quickly.
Relationships and people change day by day, especially when you don’t fully know the person yet and you both still may be young and growing as people. Even if the person you are with is willing to talk about the future with you, a future together, sometimes that can be a mistake.
Moving too fast in that way can set very high expectations, which is a whole lot of pressure. It is very important to just take the relationship day by day and see where it goes.
2. Talking about exes- How much is it okay?
Whenever you get into a relationship, people always say to avoid talking about your ex-relationships, completely. I agree with that- but only to an extent. First off, if getting you started talking about your ex is something that you won’t be able to quit talking about- you are not ready to be in a relationship again and you may need more time to move on- and that is okay.
I personally feel as though it is important to talk about past relationships and make known what you learned from it, and what you don’t want to happen again. It is very important to be open and honest about that and to have a mature conversation instead of a bashing session.
It is also important not to compare the person you are dating to your ex- even in your head. Try your best not to do that! The person you have started a relationship with and your ex, are two separate people, even if you have a type, remember that.
I do feel as though it is important to talk about past relationships, especially if there is a reason why you may be scared, not able to trust, any of that. It is important that the new person you are with knows that. There is a line, but talking about ex’s does not have to be completely forbidden.
3. Don’t let someone in too quickly
Some people may disagree with me, or even take this the wrong way. I completely agree when people say, “Someone is going to have to take me for who I am, no matter what. The right person will be able to handle all of me, good and bad.” I believe this is completely true.
Though I also believe that when starting a new relationship, it is important to keep some mystery there about yourself. Someone new does not have to know every single aspect of your life. People reveal things about themselves and are open at different paces- it can sometimes scare someone off if you come off too strong and completely reveal all aspects of you- good and bad.
I have seen people make this mistake. They completely open up about every little thing too soon, and the other person gets freaked out. That does not mean they cannot “handle” you. People just open up at different paces, and it is important to understand that.
4. Do not think you know the person completely
It is very easy, especially if you click very fast with someone, to think that you completely know them, inside and out. Even if it has only been a couple of weeks or months. Even if the person that you started a new relationship is someone that you have known for a long time prior, remember that you don’t know them as a significant other yet.
I often find that people get hurt this way very easily. They think they completely know someone, and then it crushes them when they think the person did something “out of character”. You cannot completely know someone within a short period of time, or put all your trust into them. Even if you want to.
Always remember, this person has the past and things they may keep hidden- everyone does. In relationships, people learn something new every single day about each other, even if they have been together for a long time. Remember that if you have been with someone for a short amount of time, you don’t completely know them yet and what they may be capable of.
5. In terms of sex – When should you sleep with someone?
People who are quite conservative, and believe me, there is nothing wrong with that – sometimes feel as though sleeping with someone very soon into a relationship means it is doomed. I completely disagree with this.
You need to do what you feel is right. If you feel as though sleeping with someone on the first date feels right, go for it. That does not make you a slut. Yet it also does not make you a prude if you want to wait and take things slow.
Make sure the person you are with respects whatever you want to do. One thing I do have to say is that it is very easy to get caught up in the sexual aspect of a relationship early on, and there are couples who wind up realizing sexual chemistry was all they had.
If the person you have started a new relationship with is someone that you could see a future with, make sure that you get to know them on another level besides sexual. Sexual chemistry is important- but there are many other things that are important as well.
No ladies, the “90-day rule” does not have to apply if you don’t want to. There is no such thing as sleeping with someone too soon or waiting too long. It is your body, you need to do what makes you feel comfortable.
Always keep in mind that someone you may start a new relationship with may have better intentions and care for you more than someone that you were with for years. New relationships are scary yet exciting at the same time.
One day, one of those “new relationships” will be the last new relationship you’ll get into. Ladies, do you have any other tips on what to do/not to do when starting a new relationship? If so, leave a comment below!