What NOT To Do On A First Date – A Male Advice

If you’ve got a big date coming up, then you need to know what to avoid saying or doing to make sure you don’t scare them away. Check out this guide to find out!

Most things that you shouldn’t do on a first date are pretty obvious, but sometimes you can forget and slip up before you realize it. It would be a shame to discover you’ve just said or done something that was a turn off for your date.

It would be even worse if you didn’t realize because then you wouldn’t have the chance to apologize and redeem yourself.

You have to be careful on your first date because you don’t yet know who the other person really is, so you don’t entirely know what not to do on a first date with them yet.

But don’t feel pressured. If your date ends up being a picky or irritable person, then no matter what you do they will still find something that they don’t like about what you said or did.

That’s okay, though, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not on your first date. Be yourself and try to be in a good mood, and as always, obey the rules of what not to do on a first date.

From a guy’s perspective, here are some tips on how to avoid awkwardness, discomfort, or embarrassment on a first date.

Don’t be afraid of silence

Cute young woman drinking coffee on a first date

It’s totally normal if the conversation dies down to silence. Don’t panic or start feeling awkward if this happens. You should try to feel as comfortable as you can with your date.

It makes it worse if you obviously feel awkward in silence. Keep in mind that your date is just happy to meet you and spend some time getting to know you. By no means does that mean you have to talk incessantly. A great sign that you’re hitting it off is when the silences are mutually comfortable.

Don’t wear too much makeup

Some girls have a tendency to apply way too much makeup if they are going to meet a guy that they really like. As flattering as that may be, sometimes it makes us feel like you’re trying too hard.

Try to keep this in mind; he liked the way you looked when he saw you the first time. Now, if you were already wearing kind of a lot when you met him the first time, fair enough, but you really don’t need to wear that much from that point forward every time.

That might bother him too. Long story short, and I can’t speak for all guys when I say this, but noticeably too much makeup is definitely a turn-off.

Don’t leave your wallet at home

Okay, we all know he’s going to pay for pretty much everything, there’s no argument there, but he will definitely lose respect for you if he notices that you didn’t even bother to bring your wallet.

If you legitimately forgot it and it was too late to go back home and get it, then you should definitely offer to pay next time. He’ll brush it off, but in reality, it’s kind of a big deal if you didn’t even bring your own money, so actually do pay next time otherwise you will look like a big old cheapskate.

Don’t order something expensive

Cheerful couple with menu in a restaurant making order

Yeah, he’s paying for it, and you can order anything your heart desires, but that means you need to show restraint. You can have something more expensive than what he ordered, but not by much.

What you may not realize at the moment is that you’re setting the precedence for how expense future dates are going to be for him. So if you pile on the appetizers and order a filet mignon, he’s going to put you in the ‘expensive girl’ category.

That’s not where you want to be. Moving forward, you want to be in the ‘willing to get the bill sometimes’ category. He will pay on the first date anyway, so don’t bother to resist too much this time.

Don’t talk about politics

Unless he’s super serious about it and would never date someone from an opposing political party, you should save the topic of politics for another time.

If he asks, you can suggest to save it for next time, or give a brief answer. Finding out someone you already know and like disagrees with all of your political stances and finding out someone you don’t even know yet disagrees with you is totally different.

Religion is another one that is best avoided at first. Unless you could never see yourself with someone who has totally different spiritual beliefs as you and have to know immediately, it’s better to focus on things with less serious implications.

Another thing some people are very sensitive about is their ethnic background. If you’re not quite sure about what their heritage is and you’re curious to know, you probably shouldn’t ask on the first date. If you do, you might give the impression that race is important to you.

Don’t drink too much

A cocktail or two is definitely a good idea if it will help you relax and take the edge off, but not too much. Getting drunk might affect your date’s opinion of you.

Unless he’s straight up getting drunk too, take it slow. No one likes hanging out with someone who is hammered when they’re sober.

If you’re driving and you have even a couple of drinks, your date might not take well to that. He has probably known someone in his life who passed away due to an alcohol-related automobile accident.

How close that person was to him is up in the air. If it was a loved one, they might resent the fact that you tried to get behind the wheel after a margarita or two.

Don’t talk about your ex

Happy couple using smartphone together and drinking coffee in cafe

As mentioned in my previous article, 9 Things to Do to Make Your First Date Perfect, you shouldn’t talk about past relationships yet. If he asks, you can give him a very brief answer.

Also mentioned previously, don’t use your phone too much. A few quick messages is fine, but you should be paying attention to your date, not your phone. You also want to avoid the idea that someone is keeping tabs on you, which he might have if you always have it at hand.

If you see someone you know, make it brief

Especially if it’s a guy, no matter how you know him, make it extremely brief. And do not just say, he’s my friend. Your date will definitely be curious how you know him, so you should give a little backstory to make your date feel more comfortable.

Don’t invite a friend randomly

No one likes it when people suddenly change the plan. If you want to bring a friend with you, you should definitely let him know in advance so that he can bring a friend too. As a broader rule, avoid making any plans without first asking him.

Don’t forget to bring gum

There are actually two parts to this one, don’t leave home without something to freshen up your breath, and don’t eat garlic or fresh onions at all that day.

Basically, make sure your breath is sweet, there’s nothing stuck in your teeth, and be ready for a smooch when the time comes (if it gets that far).

He might need some gum too if he happens to have a case of bad breath. If he declines your offer of a piece of gum because he doesn’t realize how bad his own breath is, then you’re out of luck.

In order to know what not to do on a first date, you should also consider what you already know about him. For example, if you know that he doesn’t drink, don’t drink while you’re with them on the first date.

Use the information you already have to try to make your date feel as comfortable as possible with you. Most importantly, try to have a fun time with your date wherever you go. He’ll like you more when he can tell you’re having a good time.

About the author

David Paulson

I’m a Florida native who can’t help but get myself into romantic trouble everywhere I look. During football season, I allow my weekends to be consumed with sports. During the long months in between, I focus most of my energy on trying to find the perfect match. So I’m here to share some of my knowledge with you, because I know deep down you’re just like me.

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