Relationship

20 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend

20 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend

If you’re unhappy in your relationship ask yourself this: ”Should I break up with my boyfriend?” Here’re 20 reasons to help you make your decision.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: Love stinks. It’s all warm and fuzzy in the beginning, and sometimes that warm and fuzzy feeling lasts forever between two people. There are other times, though, when your man does something so heinous that those warm and fuzzy feelings are replaced with thoughts of moving on to the next guy. It happens.

There are times, though, when we women just get cold feet in a relationship and want to end a good thing because we’re frightened. Maybe we’re frightened that we’ll fall in love and he’ll break our heart, or maybe we’re afraid we don’t deserve someone that good to us. Let me put your mind at ease on two things. First, you DO deserve someone who will be good to you, no matter what your past is. Second, part of falling in love is facing the fear of rejection by the one you’ve given your heart to. Yes, it’s frightening, but it’s not guaranteed it’ll end badly.

There are some relationships that do end badly however, and some reasons that genuinely merit a break-up. If your boyfriend has done any of the following things on this list, then you are well within your rights to dump his ass and move on to someone better. Here’s the list, ladies.

#1 He Lied to You

Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend

I’ve never met a person (man or woman) who didn’t tell their lover a little white lie once in a while. Maybe he said he was at the gym, but he was really out having a beer and pizza with his buddies, or maybe he skipped work to play golf, but said he had a hell of a day at the office. These are nothing. While certainly cringe-worthy and you should make him sleep on the couch, they’re not deal breakers.

A lie that hurts you in any way is a deal breaker. If he lies about who he was with last night, lies when you know he took your money, likes about anything that could be physically or mentally damaging, or could genuinely ruin your trust in him, then dump him. Once a man tells that kind of lie, he’s likely to do it again.

#2 He Cheated on You

If your man cheated on you, and you have evidence and not just some half-baked theory, then you should definitely get rid of him and find yourself a faithful guy. Now, I’m not one to judge because we’re only human, and there are sometimes you really can work through an episode of cheating. However, if he’s a chronic cheater with no intention of changing then you would be doing yourself a huge favor by finding someone better.

#3 He’s Never Supportive

Any man who doesn’t support your dreams and ideas is not worth having around. I don’t care if you tell him you are thinking of going to space camp, that man had better back you up one hundred percent! Why? Loving couples support each other. Loving couples encourage each other. Don’t be with a man who won’t encourage you to be yourself.

#4 There’s too Much Drama

Does he get into bar fights every other weekend? Does he have three other baby mommas who call him day and night or come knocking on your door? Or the drama llama follows him around? Nobody has time for that sort of thing. You don’t need that in your life – let that man and his drama go!

#5 He Likes to Fight

He Likes to Fight

If you are with a man who instigates a fight or provokes you purposefully in order to get you all riled up, then you’re in for a lot of heartache. There really are some men who love the argument and who thrive on the anger. You cannot stay with this kind of man and be happy.

#6 He’s Always Depressed

Everyone gets the blues once in a while. I’m known for seasonal depression and I get really depressed during my monthly flow, but I do bounce back up and become normal again (which is what most people do).

However, if you’re with a man who is chronically depressed and refuses to seek help for it, then you have to leave the relationship. His depression will eventually drag you down with him, but more importantly, by staying with him you’re encouraging him to continue not seeking help. It’s a tough call, but you can’t stay with someone who is unhappy forever.

#7 He’s a Drug/Alcohol Addict

This rarely changes, and you don’t want to be with someone who uses all your money to support his addiction.

#8 He’s Lazy

Men who are inherently lazy will never change, and you can’t expect them to. You can wish he’d change, you can yell and scream and fight with him about his lack of job and lack of responsibility around the house, but he won’t change. Just get rid of his lazy ass now so you only have to worry about cleaning up after yourself.

#9 He’s Verbally/Emotionally Abusive

You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend

Many women don’t see the signs of verbal and emotional abuse, so if your friends are worried about you or are concerned by the way he talks to you then you need to take notes and listen to them. This guy won’t change and it won’t get better. It will actually get much, much worse. Leave him.

Are you unsure if you are in an abusive relationship?  Take the quiz, and see what you can do to stop it.

#10 He’s Physically Abusive

LEAVE HIM AND DON’T LOOK BACK! DO IT NOW!

#11 The Sex is Bad (I Mean Really, Really Bad)

Okay, I hate to write this one because we all want to be able to say a relationship “isn’t about the sex,” but let’s be honest with each other, ladies, it is, isn’t it? Any healthy relationship has a healthy dose of sex to go along with it, but if your man is bad in bed (wrong penis size, inability to use it, doesn’t do his job in the foreplay department, etc.) and you’ve honestly TRIED to teach him to be better at it, but he refuses, you reserve the right to dump him. A good man will always try to make the sex amazing for YOU (and a smart man knows that when you’re happy in bed, he’s going to get laid more often!).

#12 He Uses Your Money

A real man makes his own money; he doesn’t’ sponge off you. This guy is not only lazy, but he’s also a user. Get rid of him.

#13 You Have Different Goals for the Future

Different Goals

On a more serious note, one valid reason to break up with someone is that you have different ideas about the future. If he wants two kids and a house in the suburbs, but you want to travel the world nomadically, then you probably won’t be compatible in the future. There are some things that cannot be compromised.

#14 You Have Different Ideas on Commitment

This one has been a particularly painful thorn in my side for the last few guys I’ve dated. Men who want to date you but don’t want to get to close are not worth dating. Men who want to be friends with benefits are never officially going to date you, and men who want an “open relationship” are classic cheaters who don’t want the guilt of “cheating” on you. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if there are any real monogamous men left in the world. Anyway, any of the above ideas on relationships are just boys who don’t want to grow up; dump him (preferably before you sleep with him).

#15 He’s a Nasty Person

You cannot change a man’s personality, and if he’s the kind of man who is rude to people, doesn’t tip the waitresses, calls girls in short skirts a sl*t when he sees them, or is otherwise a nasty person of any sort then he’s not going to change and you really don’t want to date him. While he might be nice to you now, this level of nastiness will eventually become part of YOUR relationship and you’ll hate him for it. Do yourself a favor and end it now before your relationship gets nasty.

#16 He’s a Narcissist

You cannot possibly want to date a man who’s in love with himself, could you? Ladies, let me tell you something I recently learned. If a man thinks so highly of himself that he’d rather go clothes shopping for HIM than go to the event YOU had planned together weeks in advance then he’s never going to love you as much as he loves his mirror.

One of my exes is the most narcissistic person I’ve ever met and even now I get a little nauseated when I remember he broke up with me by email saying he “likes his women younger and more petite.” As if! I still can’t believe I let him see me naked. Get rid of him, honey, before the urge to hit him with your car wins out!

#17 He Has Peter Pan Syndrome

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I have absolutely nothing against a guy who nerd games or collects action figures. After all, men will always love their toys! However, if your man makes you his mother instead of his hot momma then he definitely has Peter Pan syndrome.

There are some men who cannot do anything on their own. They have to have your approval and opinion on every little thing. This is annoying, but usually harmless.

However, there are some men who are eternal frat boys who get completely wasted every weekend, rely on you to help them financially, and can’t hold a steady job. These are the Peter Pan guys. They’re usually lacking in the commitment department as well because commitment means being a grown-up. You want a man, not a boy. Get rid of him.

#18 You Feel like You’re “Settling”

Here’s a tricky one. It is legitimate to break up with someone when you feel as if you’re “settling” for the wrong reasons. If you’re with a man who mistreats you, hurts you, uses you, or degrades you, then yes, you’re settling and you need to let him go.

If you’re with a man who’s okay to you, not bad but not good either, then you’re also settling for less than you deserve. Love should never be about “settling.” Love should be fireworks and light; it should be outstanding! When the sparks fade away, there’s a level of comfort and care, but you should never feel like there’s something better out there. If you feel that way then you’re hurting yourself as well as the man you’re with by staying in the relationship.

On the other hand, don’t confuse cold feet with feelings of settling; you really need to look inside yourself to be sure you’re making the right choice on this one.

#19 You’re Being Smothered

If you feel as if you can’t breathe in a relationship then you should definitely get out of it. There’s no reason you have to be with a man who must know your every move, be with you night and day, texts you constantly when you’re out with the girls, or insists on being a part of everything in your life. While it sounds nice on the surface, in reality people need breathing room. You’re in a relationship; you’re not welded together at the hip with your partner. Don’t stay if you feel like you’re being smothered.

#20 It’s not Love

There is never a reason to stay in a relationship if you know in your heart that it’s not love. The love of two people makes a relationship, not just the love of one. So if one of you isn’t in love, then it’s time to leave.

So, if you are wondering “Should I break up with my boyfriend”, now you know…

Now tell us, are you in a relationship you need to get out of?

About the author

Trina

Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

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  • I end my almost 3 years long relationship with my boyfriend because he sleeps too much, yeah nothing of above, he as caring and supportive and a really nice guy, we had great chemistry, sex was good, really the relationship was good enough and I could have stayed with him.

    However ever since the beginning he had this terrible habit of sleeping too much, we’re both gamers but at least I knew how to prioritize my things, he didn’t, almost every single day even when he got into college always gaming until 3ish am, waking up past noon and I am a much more morning person.

    The past months my most free time’s in the morning and it was the best time for me to have intimacy with him since later hours college and work would get between, that is at least on weekdays, unfortunately regardless of how many times I asked him to give me some mornings he would just keep his normal schedule and sleep the entire morning, he even misses his first classes most of the time because he oversleeps.

    That’s when I saw that what was a quality at first, our mutual interest for games and internet stuff in general was actually making things worse, this week I finally lost my interest as for another morning I tried to be with him and guess what? sleeeeeeeeping, so I finally broke up with him and now he says he’ll change and all that, I do wonder why the changing promises only comes when we take heavy measures? couldn’t he realize that this was going down hill before hand with all my suggestions and complains?

    Well given my busy schedule now I think it was for the best. My conclusion is that there’s never a black’n’white reason for a break up, like this or that, but in general they all have to do with lack of reciprocity and effort.

  • So I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months now, he’s not touchy feely ( which is fine because I’m not as well) so when he is affectionate, I feel like it makes it sweeter. He’s not a big talker, which again is okay because I’m not either and when we do talk it flows naturally. I don’t really need to talk because he’s very intuitive and always manages to read me ( not in a bad way, it’s actually quite endearing).. Sometimes we don’t see each other for days on end and then when we do, he doesn’t even say hello to me.

  • I have a boyfriend who yesterday said that he myself and ny other guy friend should get together and I asked and do what he respond arithmetic anything really and then he add me if my friend was cute so I sent him a picture of my friend and then I said are you still my bf and then he replied yeah I am still your bf but he’s cute . I then apologized for whatever I did that caused this to spring forth I asked him again if he was my bf or not then he replied I told you I am still your bf’s and then a little after 12 he asked me how big my friends d*ck was and I asked him why do you want to know and are you interested in him. I have been in this relationship 3 years 8 months.

  • I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. No doubt he is a good guy but at times his deeds make me feel bad about myself. He always wants to hide his relationship and for four years he has never introduce me to his friends and family members. There was a time he even refused that I’m not his gf infront of his friend which really hurt me but still I continue to love him but from that day on I could not trust him. I even saw exchanging messges like I luv u to a girl which later on he explained to me that she was his long distance sister (no blood relationship) who love him like crazy. I don’t even know whether he’s telling the truth or not. I dnt even know whether he really luv me or just fooling me with his false love. I don’t even know whether I should continue to hold on to this relationship or not. He is my first bf and I love him so much but again I’m afraid what if he cheat on me. What should I do??

    • If you have gut feelings that he’s doing stuff behind your back and he has never introduced you to his friends and family as his gf after four years then you might want to ask the guy you love about his whereabouts and stuff, and if he doesn’t give you a straight answer then you might want to dump him because it seems to me that you’re being played at this point.

  • Okay well although i’m only 13 and its to young to decide who i want to be with, but I felt a connection the very first time we met. We’ve been dating for 2 months and 4 weeks 2 days away from it being 3 months but I had to dump him today or else he was going to dump me for all the wrong reasons. There are these girls in my class who are trying to make him break up with me and i didn’t want them to have an impact on him like that. Sadly I dumped him today after school and I told him that i’m sorry but i need I think we should break up because there’s just to much drama and honestly it was the hardest thing to ever do and I was crying after wards but our relationship was horrible he would never treat me as his girlfriend but I loved him so I stayed. Then a few days ago I also found out one of my close friends like me and honestly that turned everything around for me and I told him we can’t date. well that’s my story