Is it okay to feel insecure about your boyfriend having female friends?
It is perfectly natural to feel some level of insecurity when your boyfriend gives attention to other women, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have an emotional complex or that your boyfriend is playing with your feelings; it is just a sign that you are attracted to him and that you care. No woman wants to lose the man she loves to another girl, and a healthy level of jealousy is good for your relationship, as it reminds you both of how you feel about each other, and keeps that essential spark alive.
It is up to you to judge your own feelings though and make sure that this natural and healthy level of jealousy and competitiveness does not turn into something else, and something negative that may cause unnecessary problems in your relationship.
How do you know when your feelings are becoming irrational?
It is difficult to know when you are justified in feeling upset about the way your boyfriend interacts with other women. The key to understanding how and why you feel the way you do about certain things, and being able to resolve issues with the support of your boyfriend by talking to him and make sure that he is aware of how you feel. Often a guy is so comfortable in his relationship with you that he doesn’t even realize that his behavior is making you feel bad! Flirtation is not always intentional, sometimes people mistake flirting for just being friendly and familiar.
Talk to your boyfriend openly and honestly about how you feel, and if he cares about you, he will listen, and try to help This doesn’t mean that you can tell him you don’t like it when he talks to other women, and then expect him to stay away from them all! If you feel like you don’t want him to be around a certain girl at all, then maybe you should ask yourself why you feel like this about her. How to trust your boyfriend? Does he flirt with her even though he knows how it makes you feel? Do you feel she is a threat to your relationship? Or is the problem that you are lacking confidence in yourself?
How can you take control of your own feelings?
The worst thing you can do if you are feeling jealous of your boyfriend’s female friends is to blame him for making you feel bad or blame the girl for hogging his attention in an inappropriate manner. Sometimes a girl will push her luck and flirt with your boyfriend, and sometimes your boyfriend will be too flattered and vain to look the other way. If you remember that you can’t control the girl’s behaviour or your boyfriend’s behaviour, but that you can control your own, then you will suddenly realize that you have power and control over how you feel, and that nothing anyone else can do, aside from your boyfriend actually cheating on you, can affect your relationship. A good relationship is based on good communication, a good bond, and self-belief.
You don’t have to give the girl satisfaction by playing up to her silly games. If you trust your partner, then show her you are both solid in your relationship by not letting her behavior get to you. Don’t allow yourself to be excluded either; claim your time and space with your boyfriend, and always be one hundred percent amicable with the girl. If she senses that you don’t feel threatened by her, then you are the one who is in control, and your boyfriend will admire your maturity and self-confidence. Always remember that confidence is sexy! As soon as your boyfriend sees how sexy you are, he won’t be giving the other girl the wrong kind of attention, and she will get bored and move on to someone else.
Why do some men have loads of female friends?
There are many different reasons that men might get along with women. Some like the flirtatious banter and rapport you can have with someone of the opposite sex, not because they are necessarily sexually interested in each other, but simply because it exercises their own social skills and makes them feel good about themselves, which is harmless and natural.
Other men tend to have more female friends because they enjoy the kind of friendship[ you can get from a woman. It can be more sensitive and rewarding on an emotional level than the kind of relationships they have with other men, where there is an emphasis on masculine competitiveness. Having a selection of close female friends also gives a man an outlet to turn to for relationship advice when he wants to get insight without having to go directly to you. Sometimes a man is too emotionally close to his partner and needs someone who can talk to him more objectively about matters of the heart.
If your boyfriend has a lot of very beautiful female friends, and that bothers you, try not to see them as competition, even if they are. You know what they say about keeping your enemies close? Try to befriend them, and then you will probably soon find out that there is nothing to feel threatened about, and that they are perfectly nice people after all.
Are you a woman with a lot of close male friends?
How does your boyfriend deal with you having lots of guy pals? How are you sensitive to your boyfriend’s feelings? Do you have any tips for girls who are feeling insecure about their boyfriends being close friends with a woman?
Hi – I used to get eaten up with my guy meeting with his girl pal – probably cause I found by accident rather than him informing me!! After 2 years I still dislike it in fact I downright hate it but I grit my teeth and accept he likes her company and insists its not sexual. I had given up my male pals when we committed to each other but I rekindled them since I found out bout his gal pal. He tries to put down my male friends but I’m standing firm (maybe a little pig headed) and I’m open and honest about my dealings with them – think he understands – who knows.
Thanks for your great advice:)