4 Little Known Truths on Having a Lasting Marriage

It is every girl’s dream to have a good and lasting marriage. When you consider the Statistics, which show that 50% of marriages end in a divorce, you may think that to have a good and long lasting marriage is almost impossible. That is not true, check these little known truths and make your own opinion.

1. Learn How to Fight

A lot of people think that two people who are meant to be together should never fight. That is totally wrong. It is normal to fight with someone you’re spending every day with. Of course, if you’re fighting every day, there’s got to be something wrong, but it is completely ok to fight from time to time. You just need to learn how to fight.

First and foremost – never bring up the past. Whenever you’re fighting, fight only about that current problem. Don’t bring up some things that happened in the past, especially if you told your husband that you have forgiven him. Also, do not, and I mean DO NOT ever bring up his mother. No matter how much you think she’s the reason things are not going too well between the two of you, bringing her up will only make the fight worse.

Don’t yell at each other, but rather talk. If you’re heading towards the moment when you are both about to lose your grip, take a pause, calm down and continue your argument later. Don’t keep it in, though. Whenever something annoys you, it’s always better to say it right away than to wait and build up the resentment. One day you will snap and bring it all out which will result in a huge and very unpleasant fight.

Use your fights to solve existing problems, not to create new ones. Make them constructive and make sure you get a result from them. No matter what you are fighting about, as long as you get out of the fight with one problem solved – you’re good.

2. Move Away from Your Parents

A lot of people, especially women, think that living with or close to their parents after they get married will help them. It’s normal that you think that your mom or his mom will come in handy when the kids come, but trust me – they won’t. If possible, move as far away from both your and his parents.

This may sound harsh and like it’s coming from someone who doesn’t really have a good relationship with her parents, but that’s not the case. The point is, if you stay close, you won’t get a chance to really grow up and depend only on each other. If you bring your mom to help with the baby after you give birth, your husband will get the idea that he doesn’t have to get involved. Men don’t need much time to get used to not having to do something. A couple of days are all it takes. Eventually, your mom will go home and you’ll be left to do all of that work by yourself.

Parents also like to meddle in their children’s lives, and trust me; you’ll prevent a load of problems if you don’t give them a chance. Learn how to live your life without their help. Be married to your husband, not your parents; you have a new family now and you need to make it your priority. Your parents’ job is done.

3. Compromise

They say that marriage is all about compromises and that is true. There is no space for stubbornness or selfishness; you need to think about your partner’s needs if you want to have a lasting marriage. Of course, you should expect the same in return.

You both need to learn to solve problems by compromising. Furthermore, learn how to trade. If you want your husband to put the dirty laundry in the laundry bag instead of on the floor, trade it for something he wants from you. Exchange roles once in a while and let him cook the dinner while you do the weekly shopping. Compromise is the key.

4. Ask for Help

Our mothers always told us about the importace of the role a woman plays in a life of a family. We all need to be good wives who welcome their husbands with a hot meal, good mothers who are always there for their children and successful business women as well. Well, you know what? That’s a little bit impossible.

We are not super women and day still has only 24 hours. It means we all need help. Don’t wait for the help to magically appear, but rather ask for it. Tell your husband that you need him to help you with the laundry, or cleaning or anything else you need help with. Don’t expect him to see that you need help, they usually don’t see it and you end up resenting them for it. Ask for help and you will get it.

Remember that there aren’t any special secrets to having a lasting marriage. It all comes down to these simple four things and a lot of patience. No one is perfect and you are sure to come across some bumps along the road. As long as you are willing to overcome them in a calm and civilized way, you’ll have a good and lasting marriage.