I believe in telling it like it is. Although I could find a nice, sweet way to tell you that you’re not really helping yourself as much as you may think you are, I typically find that it’s much more helpful to not beat around the bush and simply say the truth.
If it hurts, I’m sorry. However, my hope is that if you realize that any of these reasons exist in your own life that you use this information to help you change and finally achieve success.
With that in mind, here are the real reasons you may not have succeeded… yet:
Reason #1: You don’t take responsibility
If you’re the type of person who believes that you aren’t where you’d like to be in life because of someone else’s doing, I am talking to you. If you don’t start taking responsibility for your actions and behaviors, get used to not being successful because it’s never going to happen.
We are each in control of what we do and don’t do on a daily basis. Sure, some things happen beyond our control, but it’s still up to us how we respond to situations. That’s the difference between someone that sees their dreams come to pass and someone that sees their dreams flying out the window.
If you screw up, instead of trying to make excuses or blame someone else, own it. Admit that you made a wrong move. Look at the situation and figure out how you can make a better decision the next time. After all, if you learn from it then all is not lost.
You can’t keep pinning your failures on other people and expect to get anywhere in life. The sooner you realize that you’re in the driver’s seat, the sooner you’ll start steering your way to a brighter future.
Reason #2: You’re not putting in the effort
Sure, maybe you are trying to reach your goals, but are you trying as hard as you could? Are you putting forth major effort and hard work? Enough to make someone watching you think that you’re crazy? If not, then you may not be putting forth enough energy.
Here’s the thing: Most anyone who has achieved success will tell you that they only got there after spending countless hours struggling and sweating. They didn’t just work when they felt like it. No, they spent weekends and holidays continuing the pursuit of the things that they wanted to achieve.
Now, this isn’t to suggest that you have to live this way forever. Of course you don’t (and you shouldn’t). But if you’re willing to work this way now, then you won’t have to work this hard later. Do all the leg work up front so that you can slow down to an easier pace.
I like the analogy that financial guru Dave Ramsey uses in his book titled The Total Money Makeover. He talks about the fact that if you live like no one else now, you can live like no one else later.
He refers to having “gazelle intensity” when it comes to hitting your financial goals. This involves having your destination in mind and going after it will full force and effect. You’ll know when you put forth the right amount of effort when family and friends are wondering just how far you’ll go to achieve whatever it is you set out to do.
Reason #3: You don’t want it
Before you get offended and insist that you do want what it is that you’re after, hear me out on this one. Sometimes we think we know what we want, only to achieve it and discover that it was someone else’s dream or someone else’s wish for us. That would definitely explain why you’re dragging your feet in the pursuit of success.
In order to go after something with all of the passion that your heart and mind can muster, you have to want it from the depths of your soul. You need to feel it in your bones and your blood. It has to be so deep in you that it part of you, and you won’t have any of this if it is a goal that does not exist within you.
So, if you’ve not seen success in a particular area of your life, ask yourself whether or not you truly want it. And, don’t be surprised if the answer is a loud and resounding “NO”.
For the longest time, I wanted to lose weight because I felt that I should. It wasn’t that I was super unhappy with how I looked. Sure, I could stand losing a few pounds but I was fairly content with my numbers on the scale. However, because I had friends thinner than me who were dieting, I felt like I should want to lose weight too.
Well, no wonder I couldn’t find success. It wasn’t my goal; it was my friends’.
However, once I wanted weight loss for my own personal reasons (to feel better and enjoy greater health), the whole process became much easier and more successful. I was changing my actions and behaviors because of my goals which made all the difference in the world.
Reason #4: You aren’t following a process
You’re probably familiar with the saying that wishing for something doesn’t make it so. This is especially true when you’re trying to pursue success. There is a process to reach it and it involves taking the right steps in the right order.
What are those steps?
- Define your success. You have to have a clear and concise vision of what success means to you.
- Create a system by which to measure your results. You need to know once you’ve achieved success and the only way to do this is to create a goal that can be measured. For instance, if your goal is weight loss, you need to define a specific number of pounds or inches you intend to lose.
- Come up with a plan of action. You have to devise a plan to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. After all, if you don’t know where you’re going, it is kind of hard to know which way to turn when you hit a fork in the road. Think of it as your road map to success.
- Prepare for roadblocks. No plan is executed without hitches. Things will come up and get in your way to test your resolve. Be prepared for these and you’ll navigate them much better.
- Set milestones. Don’t wait until you get to your final goal to celebrate all of your hard work. Instead, set up milestones along the way to help you recognize that you’re progressing and keep you motivated to continue.
If any of these reasons resemble what you do in your own life, remember that the only one that can do something to change them is you. Then again, if you paid attention to this article, you already knew that, didn’t you?
Very Nice post Christina. Agree with all the four points.