There’s no doubt that getting over your ex can be a very difficult thing to do. We all have that one ex who we let back into our lives, for reasons even we aren’t always sure of.
There is no other reason your ex is trying to get back into your life besides his wanting another opportunity to waste your time.
Maybe he’s telling you that he misses and wants you back, but he’s actually just trying to see if he could still get you if he wanted to. There needs to be a stop to this because it’s just going to end up with you getting your heart broken – again.
There is a reason you and your ex-boyfriend did not work out. Instead of trying to make something work out that is obviously not meant to work out, try to find ways not to let him wiggle his way back into your life. Here are some tips to help you not fall back into the trap.
1. Do NOT Respond Right Away
Responding right away can be seen as you being readily available whenever he wants you to be. This can show that he is still one of your top priorities.
You can give excuses, saying that you were already on your phone when he texted you, or that you saw it at the right time, but that does not mean that you should (or even have to) respond right away. If you’re going to respond at all, then it’s something that you have to think about for a minute.
No one is telling you that you have to respond to him and have a full conversation. You have every right to put your phone down and ignore his message. You are not obligated to him in any way.
2. Do NOT Jump Right into a Conversation
You should really think about why your ex is texting you in the first place. Did he just get out of a relationship? Did something happen in his life where he feels the need to have someone familiar in his life? Is he just bored?
There could be so many reasons why he’s texting you. Don’t always assume that he’s texting you just out of curiosity to see how you’re doing. Almost all of the time, that is not the reason behind that text at 11 pm.
If you choose to respond, tread lightly. Don’t jump into a conversation without seeing why he decided to text you in the first place. You don’t need to be involved if he has an ulterior motive.
3. Do NOT Forget About Why You Two Broke Up
Like I said before, there is a reason that you and your ex are not together anymore. It can be so easy to get back into the good conversations and talk about happy memories. At the time, it can make you think about why the two of you even broke up in the first place.
This new conversation can make you feel like your ex really has changed, and that maybe you should give him another chance. Don’t fall into this trap.
Of course, the conversation is going to be good! There is a reason why your ex decided to text you, and usually, that is going to come with him wanting something from you. When you want something from someone else, of course, you’re going to be nice to the person.
You want to kiss up to the person who can potentially give you something that you want. It’s usually a scam to make sure he gets what he wants, no matter how it affects you.
Just because the conversation is good now, doesn’t mean that he has changed. He just knows you well enough to know how to make you think he’s a different person.
It’s so easy to forget all of the bad things that happened in a relationship when there are good things going on right now. But don’t forget that the bad things happened and that they ended your relationship once, and can again.
4. Do NOT Give In
If he tries to have a conversation with you and acting all sly, make sure that you remember who he is. If he is trying to pick a fight with you, remember that you don’t have to feel obligated to finish the conversation.
There’s always going to be an unfinished business after a relationship ends. I don’t think it’s possible to feel like you’ve gotten as much closure from another person as you think you need or even deserve.
When sharing your life with someone, you have to remember that you can’t control how another person reacts to a situation and that you’re not always going to agree.
Seems simple enough, but this can prove to be problematic when it comes to the end of a relationship. Ending a relationship is never easy, and there are always going to be things you wish you said, heard, or even did.
But you need to understand that it’s not always going to happen. Him texting you doesn’t mean this is your second chance to have a conversation you needed to have. You’re almost never going to get the closure you were looking for.
5. Do NOT Let It Affect You
Don’t overthink the situation, especially if he only sent you a text that said, “hi.” It doesn’t have to be made into a big deal if there’s no reason for it to. If you really want to move on from your ex, you will take that text with a grain of salt and hopefully just ignore it.
Realizing why you two broke up and the reasons why your life is better without him is going to do you more justice than hashing out conversations and arguments that you’ve had a thousand times. There is no guarantee that the conversation will do you any good, especially if you’ve been doing better without him.
Dealing with an ex can be very tricky, but there are great things about not being with that person anymore. One of the best being that you are no longer obligated to him. You don’t need to respond to him or give him any of your time. Lucky, you! Go on and live your life without the dead weight.
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