Relationships

How To Spice Up A Relationship And Get Out Of A Rut

It doesn’t take much to get too comfortable with the one you share your life with. Here's how to spice up a relationship that has fallen into a rut.

You find yourselves following the same routine, night after night. Then, you go to work the next day and start the cycle over and over again. You are set on an infinite loop with no reprieve in sight.

Realizing that your relationship has gone stagnant, you want to figure out a way to make it as exciting as it used to be when it was still in the “honeymoon” phase. You want to find that one thing that will get you and your significant other following a new, exciting path.

So, what do you do when everything you do together becomes dull and commonplace?

Fear not, dear reader. You are not alone…and there is no shortage of new and interesting things you can incorporate into your relationship. You just need to find what best suits your interests.

Here are a few simple tips on how to spice up a relationship that is stuck in a rut.

1. Never underestimate the simple pleasure of a dinner out

Couple sharing romantic sunset dinner on the beach

Work schedules tend to make life hectic and full of stress. Sometimes you even wonder if you will ever see much of your significant other anymore.

Making a dinner reservation at your favorite restaurant can be a great start in giving your relationship a good boost. While it may not be as enjoyable as it used to be when you first met, spending time together is always great for you.

A shared meal in a restaurant eliminates a bit of your everyday routine, and you don’t have to worry about who will be doing the dishes! All you need to do is sit there and enjoy each other’s company.

One thing I will stress on is the presence of technology. PUT YOUR PHONES AWAY! This is a time to reconnect with your lover. Why insult him/her by keeping your phone in front of your face? The best thing you could be giving your partner is your full, undivided attention.

Take this time to talk about your day, or simply open up your communication lines. Eat slowly…savor your meal. Order a bottle of wine. Share a sinful dessert.

When you have taken the time to enjoy yourselves, you will walk out of the restaurant feeling happier than you did when you first walked in!

2. Communication is key!

While this may seem redundant, communication is what lacks in a LOT of relationships. Couples are simply not talking to each other anymore and are relying on assumptions to get through their days and nights. Sadly, this leads to a lot of misunderstandings and confusion.

Generally, this also leads to the death of several relationships.

Assumptions are a double-edged sword. Sometimes, relying on your intuition can be a good thing if you really know your partner. However, more often than not, your partner feels that he/she is not being heard and resentment grows until it becomes a festering wound in your relationship.

Alternately, there are no real mind readers. If you want something of your partner (or if they have an expectation they want to be fulfilled), you need to open your mouth and say it.

Nobody really knows what’s going on in your head but you. The only way you can get a point or expectation across is to communicate.

If you find your relationship has come to some sort of halt, the only way you can figure things out is to discuss the matter with your significant other.

Perhaps they are frustrated with something or want to do something differently. Either way, they have an innate need to be heard and acknowledged. If you treat your partner like a piece of furniture instead of an equal half of your relationship, he/she will start to want to end the relationship.

Thing is, communication can boil down to something simple like how your partner’s day went. If he/she feels like you’re actually fulfilling his/her need to be acknowledged, then you might be able to gain insight into how your relationship truly is progressing.

By expressing your wants, needs, and expectations to your significant other, you will find that morale will improve and he/she will actually want to help you improve your relationship. The same goes for when your partner expresses his/her own needs and wants.

3. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new

Happy best friends having fun on a kayaks

If you’re constantly going to the same places and doing the same activities, your relationship will eventually feel like one big chore that you don’t want to put effort into. You need to get out of your comfort zone and start looking for new and interesting activities to do with your partner.

You need to add more excitement into your relationship and try an activity that you wouldn’t have considered for a date night. It’s a great way to get to know your partner again and enjoy yourselves.

If you’re always doing dinner and a movie, how about going axe throwing instead? Or, instead of a quick weekend trip to the lake, how about trying white water rafting?

Even the simplest of changes can add that dormant spark to your relationship. Try a new restaurant or take a cooking class so you can try new, yummy recipes together at home. Go to the liquor store and select a different bottle of wine…or skip the wine altogether and try a new kind of beer.

Change is good. The change will show the both of you what you are truly made of. If you switch things up once in a while, you will never be in danger of falling into another rut. If you’re unsure, the internet is a great way to find new and interesting date ideas in your vicinity.

4. You can’t start a fire without a spark!

Another reason why relationships become stagnant is because there is a lack of activity in the bedroom.

Despite what anyone tells you, sexual intercourse is an incredibly important part of a relationship. Sex is what keeps you wanting each other, but if your partner keeps you wanting, then you will eventually want nothing to do with him/her.

People enjoy sex in many different ways. As long as it doesn’t hurt your partner or yourself, there’s no real wrong way to spice it up (unless you begin to look elsewhere for pleasure).

Take your significant other to an Adult store and see what will float his/her and your boat. This is where communication comes in handy. Maybe your partner likes to use toys or is even curious about something he/she has seen in a show but hasn’t done yet.

Adult stores are a wealth of information in regards to making your sex life more exciting. There are books, movies, and a lot of other interesting items that will help put the “OHHHH” in orgasm.

Above all, learn what fantasies your partner has. If there is something he/she has always wanted to do, such as roleplaying, a fantasy fulfilled can be an unexpected treat for the both of you.

The pleasure you receive from fulfilling your significant other’s fantasy will make it all worthwhile. Also, don’t shy away from telling your partner about your own fantasies. He/she will be more than happy to reciprocate. You never know what unexpected pleasures the two of you will uncover.

5. Always be thoughtful

Man Getting Ready To Leave For Work Kisses Woman In Kitchen

Sometimes, the most basic way to spice up your relationship is to show your significant other how much you truly know them. Sure, it takes a bit of work to learn about your partner, but it is worth it in the end.

It could be something as simple as making his/her favorite meal or popping their favorite film in the Blu-Ray player and snuggling with him/her under a plush blanket on the couch.

Other times, you can surprise your partner with a tiny gift, such as a cupcake or pastry. Little sweets have been the go to for “just because” gestures for ages. In fact, it’s tradition in many countries around the world to present a sweet to your intended. This will go a longer way than just merely sharing the same space as the one you love.

As for special occasions like Valentine’s Day, you won’t need to create a big elaborate surprise to celebrate with your significant other. For example, every year, my husband always puts in an order at Cookies By George for their flower box. Why?

He knows I’m not a materialistic person expecting jewelry or an expensive gift…I’m just an average girl who loves her sweets. And, who better to give them to me than my sweetie?

Show your partner how much you truly care by enjoying the things they like with them. Not every person out there is expecting a grand gesture…they just want to feel important. What better way to achieve that than cooking his/her favorite meal or taking him/her to their favorite restaurant?

You may not realize it at first, but it’s the little gestures like these that keep the spark going in a relationship. It shows our partner that he/she is on our minds and that we would stop at nothing to make him/her happy.

When it comes to relationships as a whole, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight or struggle. Don’t take the easy way out and short-change your partner in the process. Your relationship should be a priority in itself.

If you put in the effort, the hidden benefits will come to fruition and that long-dormant spark will rear its head and become a flame once again. Keep things exciting and neither of you will be left wanting.

About the author

Tina C.

Tina C. is a young “Jill of All Trades” who aspires to be a best-selling author someday. A well-educated, well-read, and well-traveled individual, Tina takes pride in all of her work and loves trying something new.

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