It’s no secret, women have strong intuition and we can usually sense what our partner is thinking. If you suspect he’s thinking about marriage, you are probably right. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what men are thinking, though, especially when it comes to commitment.
If he is doing any of these 10 things, you might be closer to walking down the aisle than you think. If you have been dying to know if he’ll take the plunge but don’t want to make him feel pressured, just look for signs he wants to marry you. The proof is in the pudding.
These 10 signs can help you navigate where you stand in his mind, even without him telling you. If he is doing these things you can be pretty sure he’s taking the relationship seriously. No one likes to be with a guy who won’t commit, so don’t! If he is dragging his feet and not treating you like a queen, find someone who will.
1. Investing in your future
Has he offered to help you buy a car or pay for higher education? Maybe he’s offered to pay off your debt or help you consolidate debt. If he is starting to look to the future when your finances will be joined, chances are he’s not going to think twice about making investments that will benefit your future life together.
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
If he asks for your opinion when making big purchases, it is a good sign he sees you both enjoying his new purchases together. If he has got you a really nice piece of jewelry lately, he might be testing the waters so to speak in order to see your response. Remember, guys don’t want to be rejected when they pour their heart out and their entire life is on the line with the power of your one word: ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Why not get a house magazine, a travel magazine or a parenting book. I mean don’t freak him out, but give him signs that you’re ready so he can feel more comfortable. As you do the pre-engagement dance, you will start to change as you think about what your life together will be like and what you want it to be like. When you begin planning, he will also begin to pick up on the signs, so that’s a good thing.
2. Planning vacations together
Here’s a sign that he’s taken a strong interest in you. If he’s planning vacations with you and his family or closest friends, he’s taking you pretty seriously. Even if it’s just the two of you but you can tell he is really trying to impress you, get to know you and get closer, it’s a pretty big sign my friend.
Okay, planning, in general, is a sign he’s up to something. Have you noticed if he has been more frugal lately, is he saving up to buy you a ring maybe? Did he plan a vacation to a romantic location where he might be thinking of asking you? Is he buttering you up like a thanksgiving ham so he can stick you in the marriage oven? Sounds delicious, doesn’t it?
3. He wants to work out your differences
When a guy goes the extra mile to try to improve communication and maybe suggests couples therapy, this is a sign he wants to make it work. If he is making an effort to see your perspective or has curtailed some of the behaviors that get under your skin, maybe he is growing up and planning your future as a happy couple. If he has softened up recently, he might be warming up to the idea of forever.
Is he letting go of things that used to really make him mad? In that case, he must be doing some deep thinking. If he has made an effort to be nice to your friends that you know he doesn’t like that much, he is probably trying to impress you.
When a man, simply put, starts acting like a man and less like a child, it’s definitely on purpose. A man cannot act without motivation and if he’s been looking in the mirror recently and getting in touch with his inner truth, you’ll know something is up. If you’re reading this article and things are ringing a bell, congratulations, he might be about to change your whole life.
It might be time to break open the champagne and call Aunt Mindy pretty soon (she’s the one you never talk to but feel compelled to call just to tell her you’re getting married).
4. He can’t get enough of you
Does he invite you over every night? Has he talked about moving in together? Has he been spending an inordinate amount of time with you? Chances are he is smitten and thinking about the next step. If you’ve been together for a while, at least six months, chances are he’s thinking about it, even if he hasn’t mentioned it.
If he keeps choosing to hang out with you over his friends, he might be ready to take the plunge. If he is showering you with compliments and seems really happy, this man is most likely very satisfied with you and thinking about that big decision.
Has he put pictures of you everywhere, in his wallet and at his office? Does he call you and text you a lot? Does he ask to have dates and surprise you with fun things? When a guy is really excited about you, he won’t be able to stop. They aren’t that good at hiding it.
5. He introduces you to everyone he knows
Here’s a big sign. Has he introduced you to all of the people that are important to him? This includes best friends, coworkers, and family. If he’s not ashamed of your relationship and he’s making sure everyone knows you guys are an item, chances are you’ve got yourself a committed man that will be on his knee in not too long.
You’ll pick up on how he’s behaved in the past; maybe you’re the first one he has introduced to everyone. Guys are usually very cautious about bringing girls into the circle of trust. But when you’re in, it’s a big sign he loves you. Pay attention to how he introduces you.
What did he say, does he compliment you, and is he proud of you? Does he hold your hand in front of them? This man wants to literally hold onto you until death do you part.
6. Meeting the parents
Guys are funny creatures. Some of them will bring their parents on their first date (yes I’ve seen this happen), some guys will introduce you to their parents within the first week of dating, and some guys are more protective and wait for a while. Whatever the case may be, if he’s introduced you to his parents, this is a sign that he’s serious about you.
If he had cold feet about meeting your parents and suddenly warmed up to the idea like it was no big deal, this man’s mind has changed. Is he asking to meet your parents and siblings? Is he asking what your parents like, trying to get to know them and get on their good side? Is he trying to score brownie points?
If you’ve never been married before, you might not even realize what you’re walking into when a man gets serious about the relationship. Don’t think he’s just being nice because likes you. A man will not embrace a woman’s family unless he’s thinking they are going to become his family.
7. Looking at houses
Has he become obsessed with looking at houses recently? If so, he might be thinking about wedding bells, my dear. Usually, guys don’t buy houses with girls they aren’t serious about. If he’s looking at them with you, he’s probably planning on living in one with you. Is this getting you excited? Getting nervous?
Has he started talking about furniture or mortgages? Has he been obsessed with figuring out the job that will offer you both a great lifestyle? Has he been talking about or looking over “figures” a lot? He’s got nuptials on his mind if he’s plotting to nest.
8. Talking about children
Yes, this is a big one too. If he keeps bringing up how he wants to be a dad or what a great mom you would make, his mind is in the future and he sees you guys starting a family. If you have noticed him commenting on babies or talking about friend’s kids, this man’s primal instincts are kicking in; he’s looking long term.
Now, if you’re shopping, and he takes a turn into the kid section, you can almost guarantee his mind is scheming. Has he bought any self-help books recently? When men are thinking about becoming fathers, they often try to better themselves and prepare. For that matter, when they are getting ready for marriage, they will often do that as well.
Maybe he dropped a bad habit, cleaned up his diet, started an exercise plan or made an effort to get a better paying job. If he has become more responsible lately, he might be thinking about settling down.
9. He’s really open with you
When a man becomes vulnerable, it’s a good sign. If he has suddenly begun to share embarrassing moments, feelings, and other sensitive things, he might really have serious plans with you. When a man trusts you, he behaves differently. He lets his guard down and is more of his goofy self.
Remember to be sensitive to him as he opens up, so he doesn’t feel like you’re going to attack him if he does let his guard down. Try not to judge him, and see him as a fellow human that is learning life lessons and doing the best he can.
10. He’s extra attentive
Have you noticed him being extra nice to you recently? Has he been noticing when you change your hair or complimenting you on your outfits? Has he offered to take you out to dinner and gotten you flowers? Maybe he’s stopped leaving a mess in the living room or made sure to put down the toilet seat.
When a man starts being a gentleman and stops being a boyfriend, he’s thinking seriously about something. Has he become more supportive of your ideas or asked you about your goals? Why is he evaluating your five-year plan? What is he trying to figure out? If you sense that your guy is trying to see if your goals line up, this guy is sizing up wife material.
If he’s not doing any of these things, it doesn’t mean he isn’t serious about you. Only you can know for sure. If you’re wondering, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just asking. If you do want to marry this man, you want to be able to be open about your feelings anyway, right? If you’re so curious, just see what his thoughts are.
What if you never asked and you spent years with someone just trying to ‘read the signs’ and not wanting to scare him off. Maybe he’s not looking for marriage and you can save yourself the heartache early on. Don’t pressure him by saying something like ‘when do you want to get married?’ but see if it’s something he’s considering.
Open and candid relationships have the best chances of making it. Don’t be afraid to speak up and be open.
When you feel his energy turned towards you, you will know something is up. If he is remembering what you say, listening intently and canceling fantasy football with his buddies so you can have a movie night, this man has a ring on his mind.
But, I must admit that, when I read this fantastic book by James Bauer, I finally saw things more clearly. After years and years of pain and doubt, I realized what men really want and it gave me a whole new perspective. You must read it!
If you know someone who could benefit from this article, do them a favor and pass it along. I would love to hear feedback from you amazing women, and I thank you for being a part of the YouQueen community.