There are times when two people really want to make something work, but the timing is just off. Alternatively, two individuals are in different places in their lives and can’t seem to meet each other on the same level.
The relationship causes heartache and pain, leaving both individuals in tough situations. You decide to go your separate ways only to find yourself thinking about each other and you decide to give it a second go.
You find yourself starting over yet again, figuring out what not to do when you give your relationship a second chance. If you’re in this particular position, you want to ensure that the second time around will be more successful than the first, right?
You certainly don’t want to end up feeling heartbroken again or disappointed. Mostly, you don’t want to end up making the same mistakes twice when you have the perfect opportunity to do things differently.
Remember, love can be sweeter the second time around, but you need to know what (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance. If not, you could end up causing irreparable damage to a relationship that could’ve been your last.
1. Hold on to old grudges
Things may have been said or done in your relationship the first time around that severely damaged your relationship, to the point where you held a grudge. When figuring out what (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance, it’s important to remember to let go of old things that weighed your relationship down.
You can’t change what was said or done, but you can look forward and try to avoid making the same mistakes twice. If you can’t let go of old grudges, don’t even enter the relationship a second time. You’ll only cause more hurt and confusion along the way for both parties.
2. Focus on what didn’t work
Instead of focusing on the reasons why you broke up, why not focus on the reasons why you stayed together through the rough times? Never focus on the negativity unless you don’t have anything positive to remember anymore.
It’s true what they say, what you think about will become your reality. So, in order to give your relationship the best second chance, focus on the good. Remember why it worked the first time.
3. Forget about communicating more effectively
Communication is the key to any relationship’s success. However, the effectiveness is what’s going to determine whether you’ll be able to make it last the second time around or whether you’ll end up having to walk away once again.
Effective communication allows you to recognize when your partner needs something you’re not providing. It also prevents miscommunication which can lead to even bigger problems. When figuring out what (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance, never forget to improve your communication skills.
4. Fall into old habits
Breaking a habit can sometimes be an extremely difficult task. Often, you have to replace one habit with another in order to be successful. Thus, when giving your relationship a second chance, avoid falling into old habits that caused the downfall of your relationship the first time around.
If not, you may find yourself crashing and burning quicker than expected. Remember, anything worthwhile requires work and patience. No one said it’ll be easy, but for the right person, it’s definitely worth it.
5. Jump back into it too quickly
Take your time to re-enter the relationship. Take your time to get to know the person once again. You may find that you’ve changed along the way and want different things or your partner has grown into a different person.
You can’t expect to be in love with the exact same person after ‘life happens’. So, in order to avoid crashing too soon, take your time with your relationship the second time around. Nothing is rushing you.
6. Expect perfection
Just because you’ve been in a relationship with the same person before, doesn’t mean that your relationship will be perfect the second time around due to experience. You simply can’t expect perfection from the other person or the relationship.
As with any relationship, it requires work. Perfection is simply out of the question and you will be disappointed if that’s what you’re thinking you will find. Remember, starting over isn’t easy. Avoid wanting perfection when figuring out what (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance.
7. Maintain your pride and ego
You can begin by leaving it by the door. You’re not perfect. You’ve both made mistakes to cause the end of your relationship, whether big or minor.
If you love that person and you’re willing to go through the trouble of giving your relationship a second chance, it’s important to leave your pride and ego where it belongs. Learn to say sorry and admit when you’re wrong. Learn to validate the other person’s feelings, regardless of how stupid it may seem.
8. Expect things to be all fine and dandy
Things won’t be rainbows and sunshine. You may find yourself having to work extra hard to make it work this time around. You may even expect to walk back into the relationship and take off where you left it.
However, the reality is, you’re going to have to work at it. There may be days when you regret wanting to try again. On the contrary, you’ll be so glad that you pushed through the tough times, which leads to the next tip…
9. What (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance? Give up too quickly
Just don’t. You’re going through the trouble to work through the problems that were there in the beginning. The least you can do is give yourself enough time to see if it’s worthwhile. We all deserve second chances, so don’t give up on a whim.
10. Treat the other person like an old love
Most importantly, treat the other person like someone you just started a new relationship with. Go out on dates, make the person feel special. Be kind, show affection like you can’t keep your hand off him/her. Don’t enter your relationship the second time around with old feelings that are used up.
When deciding to start over again, it’s important to know what (not) to do when you give your relationship a second chance in the hopes that you avoid making the same mistakes twice. Being a realistic person, though, you do know that you’ll most likely fall into old habits unless you make a conscious decision not to do so.
You may find yourself doing the exact same things you did prior to going your separate ways the first time. However, as someone who wants to give your relationship a second go at it, you need to realize that it may require a little bit of extra work to break old habits. If s/he’s worth it, though, you simply won’t mind. Remember, the fight is never too hard or too long for the right one.