KEEP CALM: 10 Reasons Why You’re Still Single (It’s Not What You Think)

I have been single for many years now, and although I long for Mr. Right (and I still have a smidgen of hope that he exists), the truth is, I know why I’m still single. Actually, there are quite a few reasons why I’m single (being a commitment phobe is certainly one of them).

I’ve narrowed it down to a few things, and here are the top ten reasons why most women are still single. It’s not because we’re not good enough, it certainly isn’t our looks or bad luck. It’s actually because we’re not getting out there and looking for him. But, here are some really good reasons why we’re not.

#1 You’re Afraid of Making The Same Mistake

One of the reasons you’re still single has a lot to do with your ex. Seriously, your ex is an idiot (if he wasn’t you’d still be together). Whether he’s an idiot for leaving you, or you left him because he’s an idiot, isn’t the point. You’re still single because you don’t want to repeat that experience (commitment phobia at its finest).

#2 You Like Your Privacy

Another good reason you’re still single is because you value your privacy. You really don’t want to share your stuff with someone else. Your home is your domain and you like things as they are. A relationship means sharing, and it’s not just your stuff, it’s your feelings, your plans, your life, and a lot of your time, which is really just too much to ask from someone who values their privacy.

#3 Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That

You don’t have the time to raise another human being to be the emotional equivalent of someone you could spend your life with. You don’t want to cater to someone else’s needs, take care of them when they’re short on cash, put up with their immature ways. Seriously, ain’t nobody got time for that.

#4 You Have Big Plans

Italy, Egypt, China, France… I have big plans, people. There are plenty of places in this world I haven’t seen yet, and falling in love would mean that I have to stay here, in this small suburban town, dreaming of the places I never got to see.

Maybe you’re the same. Now sure, you can find someone who wants to go all those places with you, but do you really think he’ll give up his job to spend a year in China with you? Do you really think you’ll be able to flirt with Italian men when you have a guy at your side? Nope.

#5 You Like Being Your Own Boss

Being bossed around isn’t your cup of tea. You don’t need someone in your life telling you not to eat pizza for every meal, or telling you the laundry needs done. If you want to wear the same pair of jeans three days in a row, then you can. If you want nachos for breakfast, then you can have them. You’re no longer a child and you don’t need anyone to tell you what you can and can’t do.

#6 You’re Still Having Fun Experimenting with Sex

Listen up, ladies, when you fall in love, that’s it. You only get to have sex with that one person for the rest of your life. Forever. It will get boring. You might think the sex is fabulous and there’s never going to be anybody better, but in ten years, when you’re not having sex as much, and you’ve hit your peak and he wants a sandwich and a nap, you’ll have second thoughts. Admit it, you’re still single because you like sex and you still want to explore your own sexuality. It really is okay!

#7 Settling is Bad and You Know it

Remember your ex? Aren’t you glad you didn’t marry him? Yeah, one of the top ten reasons you’re still single is because you are at the point in your life when you refuse to settle for less. That’s actually a good thing. It keeps you out of unhealthy relationships and lets you find someone who you do want to share your life with. Now, nobody is perfect and, as humans, we are all “fixer-uppers”, but you know that settling is not worth it, so you’re happy to NOT be in a bad relationship.

#8 You are Still Finding Yourself

How on Earth could you possibly be in a relationship when you still have no idea who you really are? I will tell you now that the person I am today isn’t even remotely the same as the person I was ten or twenty years ago. I’m even very different than the person I was one year ago.

When you find out who you really are, and what you really want in life, you’ll be in a better position to find a relationship that will make you happy. Take your time, your right guy is probably still figuring himself out, too.

#9 You’re Scared of Turning into Your Friends (and With Good Reason)

When you call your best friend, do you hear a couple of screaming kids in the background and a husband who absolutely must know who she’s talking to? Did you just shudder in horror? That’s why you’re still single. It’s not that you don’t want a family and kids someday (or, if you’re like me, you’ve been a single mom for half your life and are about to experience being an empty nester and single ‘woman’). It’s just that you don’t want that particular “family” experience right now. Maybe not even ever, it sounds terrifying.

#10 You Haven’t Met Him Yet, and You’re Okay With That

Finally, the number one reason you’re still single is that you just haven’t met “the one” yet. You know, the one that makes you realize you could handle screaming kids and burning dinner, the one who makes you realize you’d trade your dreams of travel for a nice house in the ‘burbs. There are about seven BILLION people in the world, let’s say that half of them are men…now let’s say that half of those men are single…that’s almost two billion single men. He’s definitely out there, and you’ll find him when you’re ready to go out and look for him.

So, tell me, why are you still single?