It could have been just a date or two, or a long relationship you believed was meant to last forever. Whichever it is, you just can’t seem to get over the fact that “magic” you shared together has ended and maybe you two will never get back together again.
Now you are in pain because of the breakup and the fact that you can’t get him out of your mind (no matter how hard you try to) is driving you insane.
The good and bad times you’ve shared as a couple play in your head over and over again and your brain is stuck thinking of what you could have done to prevent the fallout.
If you’re going through this agonizing moment at this time, we’ve got good news for you: You’re not the only one.
More importantly, there’s a way to get out of such an unfortunate (but totally not hopeless) situation and we’ve rounded them up in today’s list.
Here’s how to stop thinking about him for good!
1) Be rational
So easy to say but so hard to do, right? When you’re hurt, chances are your mind is full of irrational thoughts. It may be striving for an acceptable explanation of why things happened the way they did and trust us, it can easily go out of control once this starts.
So when your mind starts to drift off somewhere you know can encourage irrational thoughts, stop. Close your eyes and breathe. Focus on the fact that some things happen for a reason and sometimes, you’re better off not knowing whatever that is.
When you do this, you’ll eventually learn to stop thinking about him. We’ve been there and we know you can get through it like the strong woman you are.
2) Cut off all kinds of communication with him
You may have decided to part ways amicably and if so, chances are there will still be one form of contact or another. While this is totally okay, it’s not something that can help you with what you’re trying to achieve right now – to stop thinking about him.
So don’t call or return his calls. Don’t text. Stop responding to his private messages. Do this while you’re positive that you’re not over him yet. If you start getting friendly sooner than later, you may not be able to really recover.
3) Remove everything that will remind you of him
You obviously can’t just delete all the photos you have of him and the good times you’ve shared together on your phone.
If you’re not yet ready to do that, what you can do is store them somewhere else where you can’t easily view them when you’re feeling down and missing him terribly.
Remove any of his things from your apartment and if it will help you forget about him easily, store everything he gave you in a box and put it someplace else. Doing so will help you stop thinking of him and what memories you’ve shared when you were still a couple.
4) Don’t spy on his social media accounts
Yes, we know you did and you probably are scrolling through his Facebook timeline right now looking at what he’s been up to lately (and wishing his life has been miserable since you two went your separate ways).
Doing this won’t help you to move on. You’d just feel worse, especially if he’s having a blast in his newly found single life. Log out and in case you can’t do it, don’t type his name in the search box. You’ll thank us later!
5) Find a distraction then stay distracted
Go to the gym and work out like a beast. If you don’t fancy letting some steam off by getting all sweaty, find another thing you enjoy doing. It can be yoga or painting. It can also be something extreme like skydiving or wakeboarding.
Whichever it is, do it. Don’t lock yourself up in your room. Get out of the house and do anything that can help your silly mind focus on anything but him. Replace those old memories by creating new ones. You can do this!
6) Pamper yourself
There’s no better time to treat yourself to anything you want than when you’re single.
So if you want to buy a new pair of shoes or that elegant bag that you’ve been eyeing for months, let nothing and no one stop you.
Go on a vacation so you can spend more time to yourself and possibly meet new people who can help take your mind off him.
7) Reinvent yourself
Don’t just sit in front of the TV and watch romcoms that don’t make you feel any better at all. Take a shower, get dressed to kill, and take a trip to the salon.
Get a new haircut and walk out like you’re a totally different person, someone who has not gotten her heart smashed to pieces before.
Trust us when we say that when you transform yourself into something you’ve always wanted to be, your stubborn mind will follow.
8) Go out on a casual date
Seeing new people will surely help when you can’t stop thinking of him. It will give that brain of yours new people to think about and focus on.
So call up your girlfriends and let them know you’re single and ready to mingle. Just be sure not to obsess over every guy you go out on a date with because if you do, it defeats the purpose of trying to stop thinking him.
9) See your friends and family
When your mind is all stressed and obsessed, you’d get a breather if you allow yourself to talk about your thoughts and every baggage your heart carries. Who will you call when you’re ready to spill all the beans?
Of course, it would be trusted friends and family. Nobody knows you better than them. More importantly, nobody can listen better to your sordid and painful tales than them. So give your BFF or your mom a call then hit the road. It’s always worth the trip.
We’ve put this last on this list because we know this is the hardest part. Forgiveness doesn’t come easily and it’s an agonizing process to have to go through.
But you know what? This is one of the quickest ways to stop thinking of him. When you genuinely forgive him even if he’s not sorry, you’re freeing yourself from anything negative that happened between you and him.
And when you do, your heart and mind would be free of any thoughts related to him, too.
*When you can’t stop thinking about him: Live in the present
Let’s face it: you can’t get him off your mind post-break up because your mind is still living in the past. When you’re obsessed with what happened in the past, it takes control of your present.
Your present then becomes nothing but a painful fruit of your past, of things you no longer have control over, and things you can’t change anymore. How do you get out of this vicious phase?
First, you’ve got to realize that you’re not living in the moment. When that has sunk in, accept the fact that the past has passed and you need to pull yourself back to the present so you can start reclaiming what you’ve lost during the process: your precious and irreplaceable self.
It’s not always an easy thing to do so if you struggle with getting it done, never think twice of seeking help from people who truly care and love you: your friends and family.
Have you ever been with someone whom you can’t stop thinking about after your breakup? Tell us about it in the comments.