Couples that Stay Together: The Secret to Long Lasting Relationships

Everyone knows that perfect couple that just seems to have it all. How do they do it? Well, the secret to a happy relationship is more than just loving each other, it’s putting in that extra effort to make the relationship last.

Are you searching for that ideal, enduring love? Well, you’re not alone. There are a lot of women out there searching for the formula to maintain a long-lasting, happy relationship.

You’ll likely find quite a few articles about how to find and keep happiness in your relationship, but there are always a few key things that they fail to mention that I think are really important.

Having a long-lasting, happy relationship is not as easy as simply finding that special person. Relationships take hard work. If you are lucky enough to have found an amazing person that you want to be with for a long time, I congratulate you! But you should probably check out this article to make sure that your relationship stays as happy and healthy as it is today.

Happy relationships mean listening to each other, talking things out, remembering to make the other person feel good, and keeping things exciting. Read on to find out more…

Say Goodbye to the Myth that Relationships Can Be Perfect

People often look at someone else’s relationship and wonder why theirs isn’t as perfect. On top of that, Hollywood love stories have us convinced that there is a perfect man out there, with whom we can have the perfect relationship. That myth destroys great relationships.

If you’re one of those people who compares your relationship to your co-worker’s “perfect” relationship, STOP. Trust me, her relationship is far from perfect, but that’s not to say it’s not a happy one. If you have found the person who makes you happy, even with all of your combined imperfections, you definitely have a shot at having that long lasting, happy relationship.


Man and woman having romantic time in car

Good communication is probably one of the most important qualities a relationship can have. A couple who can talk things out in whatever way works for them will last a long time. There are too many times that assumptions, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings occur as a result of someone not being able to express how they feel.

This can be easily avoided if a couple can learn how to talk AND *listen* to one another. Don’t be afraid of expressing how you feeling to your partner. That fear can make a small thing turn into a big, festering one over time. Even if you’re worried it will upset him, it will benefit both of you, in the long run, to talk it out.

Not Sweating the Small Stuff

Happy couples know what needs to be hashed out and what stuff can be brushed off and forgotten. Although communication is extremely important, if you feel the need to harp on every little thing that bothers you, you’re going to end up pushing your guy away.

Try asking yourself “if I don’t talk about this, will it still bother me tomorrow… or in a week?” If the answer is yes, then by all means, bring it up to your guy. But it’s also important to know when to let things go.

At some point in life, you start to realize that not everything that annoys you needs to be discussed. You have to accept your partner for who he is. If he is doing something that really upsets you, of course, you need to discuss it. But if you find yourself always having fights about petty things, you might need to reconsider the things you deem as unavoidable.

Having Fun Together

Young man and woman kissing

Maybe it sounds obvious, but it’s so important to remember to have fun together. After couples have been together for about a year or more, they start to get into a routine. The excitement and anxiousness of new love has started to change into a more stable, enduring love.

If you have made it this far, that is a good sign! It means that there is more to your relationship than that crazy, butterflies-in-your-stomach love. It means there is the possibility of a real future for the relationship. Once you have exited the puppy love phase, you may need to make an effort to break out of the routine. Try planning date nights and trying new things together.

Keep it Interesting

On that same thread, you also have to remember to keep things interesting in the relationship, especially when it comes to sex. Don’t let yourself fall into boring sexual patterns. After that puppy love period ends, you probably won’t be having sex as much as you were before, so it’s the perfect time to start changing up your sexual routine.

Make Each Other Feel Special

You might be really happy with your guy, but does he know that? A great way to keep each other happy is to do little things to make each other feel special. That doesn’t mean buying expensive gifts. A small gesture can go a long way. Cooking his favorite meal or giving him a massage after a hard day is great ways to show your love for free.

Spend Time away from Each Other

friends hanging out and drinking coffee

In the beginning, many couples are so happy to have found each other that they want to spend all their time together. As tempting as that might be, don’t fall into that trap.

Every girl has a friend who has ditched her the moment she got a boyfriend. You may even be guilty of it yourself. But there are two important reasons why you absolutely shouldn’t do this, besides the fact that it just sucks.

1) Your friends are an important part of your life and your happiness. Even though you’re excited about your new relationship, you need your friends in your life and they need you. A day will come along when you’ve had a fight with your boyfriend and you are going to want a good friend to talk to. If you haven’t spent much time with them lately there is a good chance they won’t be around.

2) Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Hanging out with your boyfriend all the time may feel great at first, but it will get old after a while and then your life might start to feel a little too one dimensional. Getting away from him will make you miss each other and make it that much better when you do get to hang out again.

Find Your Happiness

Making your partner your sole source of happiness puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. You need to make sure that you have other things in your life that make you happy. That way if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, it won’t seem like the end of the world.

You will have found strength and happiness in other places to get you through those less than perfect moments.

Ask for What You Need

This is a common mistake that couples make. They assume that after a while their partner should know them well enough to be able to know everything they want, feel and need without being told.

No matter how well he knows you, your boyfriend isn’t going to be able to know the right thing to do all the time. Instead of getting angry or disappointed when he doesn’t do the right thing, try asking him for what you need. You will be shocked at how easy it is and how much better it will feel to let go of the expectation that someone should know your every thought, just because they love you.

Ask Him What HE Wants

Beautiful blonde girl touching shoulder of her man

The golden rule has got us all a little confused when it comes to relationships. “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” It sounds like a great way to approach your relationship, but there is one significant problem with the golden rule… not everyone wants to be treated the same way.

A lot of problems come up in relationships because everyone is treating their partners how THEY want to be treated instead of treating their partner how THEIR PARTNER wants to be treated. Even though you have the best of intentions, try asking your boyfriend what he wants instead of assuming he would want the same thing you would.

Voice Your Appreciation

And finally, one of the top complaints of long-term relationships is that one or both parties don’t feel appreciated. Even if it’s the furthest thing from the truth, you have a big problem on your hands if your partner doesn’t feel appreciated.

Somewhere along the way, people forget to tell their partner how great they are and how happy they make them feel.

If you really love someone, you probably do a lot of things for them all the time. If you feel like those things go unnoticed and unappreciated, that can feel pretty bad. So don’t forget to tell your guy how much you appreciate him the next time he does something awesome.

I’ll say it again, relationships take work. If you really love the person that you’re with, you should put as much work and effort into the relationship as you put into other passions in your life.

If you’re up to the challenge, follow these tips to help keep your relationship happy and healthy. And try sharing them with your man… after all, happy, long-lasting relationships come from both parties making an effort to make them great.

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About the author

Marie Trudeau

Marie currently resides in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She has extensively studied relationships and sexuality and loves to write about those topics. Her passions are photography, traveling, music, art and helping people.


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  • I’d like to add that couples should make the effort to unplug from their devices and reconnect.

  • Well I’ve have come to find that Men want a true walking talking breathing Barbie. If she doesn’t have the skin body eyes or hair or weight. then he doesn’t want her. I have tried everything I could have thought.. Also if you just met them they want SEX and if you tell them no then they say GOOD BYE !