After a breakup, it’s going to be difficult to adjust to the sudden absence in your life. You’re going to miss the other person, and you’re going to want them back. But, even though you may want to, don’t focus on getting back together with them right away.
It’s better to wait and give yourself time and distance from the situation, so that one day, if the opportunity for reconciliation does come up, you can decide what you want with a clear head.
We often have a tendency to remember the past as being better than it was, so when you feel lost and you want them back, here are some things you should consider.
Wait until some time has passed
Getting back together with your ex may be the right choice for you, but before you make a decision wait until some time has passed. Giving yourself time means you will be able to look at the situation from a different point of view and, hopefully, with a clear mind.
Too many people rush into getting back together immediately after the breakup, sending late-night texts or focusing on making their ex jealous. Don’t be one of those people. Give yourself some time to decide whether or not you even want that person back in your life, and if the opportunity for reconciliation comes up, then decide.
Consider the reasons for the breakup
There were reasons that the relationship ended, and much as we want to think everything was perfect (that you were the perfect girlfriend and it was all the other person’s fault), it wasn’t. Both parties involved made mistakes—granted, some may have been bigger than others.
Maybe you weren’t treated well; maybe you had different values or beliefs, different desires or goals. Whatever went down to cause the breakup, the truth is that something did happen and you need to face that.
It is easy to make excuses for them if they broke up with you but came back the next day. Maybe they were scared. Maybe you were. Maybe you feel that you can’t live without them, maybe you just want the pain of the heartache to stop.
The truth is, though, that it is hard for some people to deal with relationships and commitment, and there are some people that are just on a different path than you right now.
Maybe you two just aren’t compatible anymore. Whatever the situation, just remember, before getting back together with an ex, to face the reasons you two broke up. Don’t ignore them because they will come back with a vengeance if you do.
Remember that the past may seem brighter than it was
You miss the way things were. When you were together, everything was perfect, right? Well, chances are good that things weren’t as perfect as you remember them being.
When thinking about getting back together with an ex, remember that things weren’t prefect. We all have a tendency to romanticize the past, and to top it off, it can be difficult to see things clearly when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses.
One way to really determine what things were like is to ask around. Ask friends and family what they really thought of your relationship. It’ll give you a new perspective, and help you to decide if you really do want to get back together.
Move on regardless of who ended things
Don’t put too much energy into trying to get back together with an ex—especially if they were the one who pulled the cord. You deserve better than that. You should remember when you miss them that if they wanted to be with you, they would be.
As much as a breakup hurts, the pain is better than a long-term lie. Losing someone who doesn’t love you isn’t a loss in the long run; it’s a gain.
So, as hard as it may be, don’t focus on getting back together with them, focus on yourself and your life. Don’t send that late-night text, don’t apologize, don’t blame, and don’t beg to get back together.
Feel comforted that if you two are meant to be, it will happen but it can’t be forced. It will get better one day. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with life.
Instead of focusing on them, focus on creating a life you love. Get back to your roots. Do what you love. Move on with your life.
The bottom line
Relationships are a two-way street, and for some people, getting back together with an ex is the right decision. But that doesn’t mean that everyone’s story is going to end like that.
Whether or not you get back together with an ex, you should take some time to decide what you want. Still, it’s important to recognize that no one is perfect, and when you love someone, you have to learn to love every part of them.
Sometimes, giving the relationship another try may pay off, but most of the time, both parties are better off on their own. Everything happens for a reason, and though a breakup is a hard reality to face, it’s necessary to learn and grow from. Don’t put all of your self-worth into whether or not you can get your ex back.
After a breakup you need to take care of yourself. Cry, miss them, feel the heartbreak, but don’t go back to them when you are feeling lonely. The most important thing to do is focus on your life. Rejection isn’t easy but you can get through it.
What are some of the things that you consider to be most important in deciding whether or not to get back together with an ex?
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