My boyfriend flirts with everyone and I’m not sure if he’s just playing around or cheating on me. That is a daunting question that many women can’t answer.
Your boyfriend seems to find the opposite sex a bit too interesting. He’s got you – but he always seems to be flirting with other women. Understandably you are uncomfortable and on some days you are downright jealous!
Flirting is one of those topics which can cause a lot of grief for you and your relationship. Even though there may be a healthy amount of trust in your relationship when you see that your boyfriend is paying more attention in a flirtatious kind of way to other women, you know you are feeling left-out and perhaps a little disrespected.
And the trust in your relationship is taking a hit too. So, if you’re constantly asking yourself: why my boyfriend flirts with everyone and am I overreacting, then this article is just the right thing for you. Keep on reading!
Everybody flirts. The very act of flirting is based on attraction towards somebody else and that does not mean that this attraction is sexual in any way. In fact, it begins when we are just little babies. We would look for someone to engage with when we found a happy face.
And that’s exactly how we start flirting with someone. When you enter a bar or restaurant, you may see someone smiling and radiating with positive energy which triggers some sort of attraction in you. You reciprocate by being friendly and may even talk to them, exchanging some healthy banter.
Flirting is a natural process and happens subconsciously on most levels and we don’t even realize it. The way your body reacts when someone smiles at you or how you glance at the other person are reactions which take place without you even knowing that you are flirting. But you are.
Flirting is essentially the act of connecting with another person because we like something about them. That’s when some sort of biological signal is activated in our brain and we neurologically make a snap judgment which in turn affect us physically. Now that’s the biology of flirting.
Simply put, flirting is a fun way of getting to know someone which spreads good vibes and it even helps us find our potential mate.
But not all flirting leads to a one-night stand or a full blown affair. You are just having a conversation with someone that makes you feel good about yourself.
And it’s a good thing to relate to both men and women – we all agree on that. Having friends from both sexes is healthy even, both for you and your relationship.
But when you boyfriend is just a little bit more than friendly with other women, you know then that you might have a flirter on your hands.
It’s important to understand if your boyfriend is flirting or just being friendly before you take any action. Assess the situation before you go blazing in.
It’s alright to touch your friends when you talk – sometimes you are communicating your empathy and other times just having a bit of fun. But if you notice that your boyfriend seems to be in every woman’s personal space, then you can be sure that he is flirting.
Subtle signs to notice are leaning in when talking, touching or brushing against each other every now and then or playfully hitting each other. But be sure you know the score and that this is not some old mate that he is used to having around.
There is nothing wrong with eye contact. In fact, eye contact is encouraged when two people communicate. But if your boyfriend is exchanging fleeting glances with other women, or staring a bit too long at them, then perhaps you need to assess how to deal with your flirtatious boyfriend.
Men tend to hold eye contact when they are listening and if your boyfriend is the flirtatious kind you will notice him working those peepers on other women all the time.
Smiling at other people is friendly and a pretty normal thing to do. But if your notice your boyfriend turning up his charm and smiling in that sexy way (that once had you weak at the knees) at other women especially while talking to them, then your boyfriend is flirting for sure.
If you notice that she is reciprocating too with her smiles, eye contact, and body language, then you probably know that he is flirting.
His flirtatious behavior is not an occasional thing. It happens all the time- whether at a party, a restaurant or even with your cousins. You find that your boyfriend always showers extra attention on other women and flirts with them through his conversation, his body language and that irresistible charm of his.
So now that you have concluded that your boyfriend is a flirt, what next?
Well, if he does this all the time then the chances are you fell for him when he was flirting with you or that when you first met him you liked this aspect of his character.
Perhaps you need to evaluate how you feel about the situation and why? Look deep within yourself and ask if you are feeling unsettled due to some insecurity on your part.
Are you jealous because you feel that you are not good enough to hold his attention? Are you feeling left out? Or perhaps you misunderstand his charming friendly nature to be flirtatious.
There is nothing wrong in asking your boyfriend to ease up on his flirtatious behavior but it’s important to understand where to draw the line. You can’t ask him to change his personality as that would be unfair to him. After all, you were attracted to him because of who he is in the first place.
Some women are perfectly alright with their boyfriends flirting as he may be a very sociable person. Understand how you really feel. But if you think that this behavior is getting out of hand then you should talk to him about it.
Before you begin this conversation be sure about what you want to talk about and stick to the topic. You can only do this when you have finally figured out why you are feeling the way you do and why his flirtatious behavior bothers you.
Be specific and tell him how you feel. Find out why he flirts? He may not be getting something from you like attention or compassion or maybe he misses the fun of flirting which he enjoyed with you in the early days when you both first met.
Perhaps he flirts to make himself feel good and maybe he is trying to reinforce his own self-esteem. Or he may be flirting just for fun. Find out so you can understand his behaviors better and then understand what you want out of this relationship.
You can’t ask him to change but perhaps you can agree on creating boundaries which work best for both of you. Don’t just say you are ok with him flirting with other women if you’re not.
Trust is a very important aspect of any relationship. If your boyfriend hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him then you should trust him and not go looking for problems where they aren’t any.
It’s important to remember that flirting in a relationship is healthy. Flirting with each other keeps the relationship alive and adds spark and sensuality. It makes you feel good about each other and injects a whole lot of fun into your relationship.
After all flirting is a normal and a healthy way for someone to get to know another. As long as you are not crossing any boundaries nor have any other intentions like sex with the other person, flirting outside your relationship is natural and healthy.
Over time if you shelter yourself from not talking to the opposite sex because your partner does not approve, you will see resentment quickly replacing trust and happiness in your relationship. Friendly banter with another person makes you feel good about yourself and your relationship with your boyfriend.
If you really can’t handle your boyfriend’s flirting and perhaps you feel that you shouldn’t be flirting either, then the best thing you can do is get out of the relationship and find yourself a non-flirty boyfriend.
Meena is a creative soul who finds inspiration in travel, food and family. She is great with words and loves writing articles, content and copy. Besides that, she reads a lot, loves coffee and can be immensely amused by anything funny.
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