One of your closest friends has a birthday coming up. You’re not one of those people who will write a sappy letter or an emotional card, but you do want to make it special and unforgettable. It can be done if you exchange the heartfelt messages with some funny, sarcastic and ‘’offensive’’ ones.
Here’s a list of funny birthday wishes you can use:
Birthday wishes for an ‘’old’’ friend
The way we communicate with our closest friends might sound weird to other people. But, they know you well enough to understand that your sarcasm and jokes are filled with love, and they are ready to give it back. We all have that one friend who is obsessed with age, so let’s show some love to our ‘’old’’ friends.
1. You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar… Yung No Mo
2. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
3. Like a fine wine we get better with age… or rather, we feel better about our age with lots of wine. Happy birthday.
4. I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.
5. Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.
6. Just think now you’re one step closer to the senior citizen discount at the movies.
7. You are getting old and I’m getting drunk. Happy Birthday!
8. Happy birthday, old friend! When I say ‘’old’’ I mean I have known you a long time… but you are also just old… and a friend.
9. Allow me to politely suggest this be the year you start lying about your age.
10. Don't think of it as getting older; think of it as becoming a classic.
11. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”
12. If all grandmas looked as good as you, nobody would care if they baked cookies.
13. Have a great time on your birthday and don’t worry about getting old. That happened years ago.
14. Don’t worry! I have been 29 since I was 29.
15. Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.
16. I can’t believe you’re 50. I mean, I can’t believe you’re only 50. I thought you were way older than that.
17. I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
18. It sure was easier remembering your age when you were 29 every year.
19. I have one word to describe you -“Vintage” Happy birthday!
20. My golden words for your birthday… Smile while you still have teeth!
21. Another year another place that aches.
22. You’ve survived another year. Although you’re older, it’s better than the alternative.
23. You think age is a funny thing? Wait till you look at yourself in the mirror!
24. The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
25. Without birthdays we wouldn't know how much makeup to put on in the morning.
26. May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies other people.
In this case they are already old, and there is no way to go back. But you still want to make a joke relating to that, and tell them that age doesn’t matter. Of course, you might be getting old too, so it’s time to say: never mind, everything will be just fine in a funny way:
27. Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
28. Your birthday says, ‘’One year closer to retire’’. But your looks say ‘’ Can I see your ID’’. Happy birthday!
29. Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friends even when we’re too senile to remember each other’s birthday.
30. I know your birthday is only once a year, but you’re so special it should be at least two times a year. Maybe even three.
31. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is definitely optional. Happy birthday!
32. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
33. There is a really smart, rich, and famous person who was born today. Too bad it wasn't you. Maybe it will be next year. Happy birthday!
34. Like many women your age, you are ‘’26 years old’’. Happy birthday!
35. Happy Birthday! And don’t worry. Being another day older really only matters if you’re a piece of fruit.
36. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
37. You're not thirty; you're eighteen with twelve years of experience.
38. At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.
39. How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!
40. Since we were little, you’ve always been there for me. I’m so glad we’re still friends, and I bet that someday we’ll be sitting side by side in our rocking chairs at the nursing home laughing at all our crazy times together.
41. Some people look old and feel young. Some people look young and feel old. Some people like us look young and feel young. Feels good to party on your birthday doesn’t it?
42. Happy Birthday to one of my best friends… which says a lot about my horrible choice of friends.
‘’I didn’t get you any presents’’ wishes
Your friends already have a priceless gift – You! A crazy, funny, and an extraordinary friend who can make them laugh every day! Who needs presents then? Of course, you bought your best friend a birthday present, but you have to make them think that you forgot to do it. Here are some ideas for the card:
43. Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
44. Actually, I wanted to get you something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
45. You deserve so much more than just a card. And that’s why I also got you that green envelope. I hope you didn’t rip it! Happy birthday!
46. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the last time I didn’t buy you anything for your birthday. Happy birthday!
47. I hate to shock you, but there’s no surprise party! Happy birthday!
48. I got you something we both would like. Too bad I ate on the way here.
49. I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
50. They say love is all you need… So I forgot to buy a birthday present. Happy Birthday!
51. Of course you believe in miracles. I remembered your birthday, didn’t I? But I forgot your present!
It’s always the right time for a joke just to make them remember how awesome you are. My friends inspire me to do crazy things for them. I’m proud when I make them smile uncontrollably… or prank them… I enjoy making plans for their presents and surprise parties, but when it comes to birthday cards, I always fail… If you have the same problem as I do, these are the perfect choice for you:
52. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world. Naked and screaming.
53. Happy Birthday! I hope your day is as amazing and fun as I am. Good luck with that…
54. I was gonna make you a Rum Cake, but now I’m drunk and it’s just a cake. Happy birthday.
55. Happy birthday to your mom and dad’s second favorite kid.
56. I’d be much more into your birthday if it was my birthday.
57. There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
58. I’m just here for the cake.
59. You know you’ve had a great party when you wake up wondering: Whose yard is this? How did I get these tattoos? Where are my clothes?
60. May your wishes come true and your spouse not find out.
Having a friend is something you should appreciate, and every memory you create is a part of one beautiful story. Make those moments memorable, even if you are doing it in your own way. It can be crazy from other people’s perspective, but if you understand each other, who cares what other people think!
Be silly, but stay true! What are the funniest birthday cards you got or have given to your friends? Maybe you can give some ideas to those who don’t have inspiration, and help them make their friends happy for their birthday. If you have some funny birthday stories, please share them with us and comment bellow!