Funny Quotes about Being Single which Will Perk You Up

Whether you just need to find that one quote that will inspire you to turn your single life into an amazing one, or just some quotes to make you laugh, read on. You may even want to send some of the quotes to single friends who need a good laugh.

Truth be told, being single can be an awesome time. Not to mention all the horrid (later to be called comedic) and wonderful dating adventures you will have. Here are some funny quotes about being single we all can relate to.

Reasons why you are single

There’s the obvious one: you haven’t found the One yet. The not so obvious ones would include any potential emotional hick-ups you may have about being in a relationship (not that you would, not really, it’s always the guys’ fault, isn’t it?) and, of course the reason listed in the below quote. I bet you didn’t think of that one yet. Unless, of course, you found the perfect in-laws and it turned out they had no children…

I know why I am a single woman. My parents-in-law were not able to have children…


There’s another reason too. That reason is you have problems finding someone more worthy of your love than yourself. I know, it can be a real hassle. Especially knowing how fabulous you are. But you know how the saying goes: you have to love yourself before anyone else.

So, does that mean you can love someone else, even if there is no one as deserving of your own love as yourself? Now that’s the multi-million dollar question. I think I have the answer to it though. If I can have the multi-million dollar price too, that’d be pretty sweet. Till then, I’ll let you decide upon your own answer.

Girl, you can search the whole universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love than you are yourself, and you won’t find such person anywhere.

What do trader Joe’s tissues have to do with being single?

You could argue it’s because you will need them whenever you watch romantic comedies and dream about the man you don’t have. It could also be because you’ll need them when crying from happiness, knowing you are no longer with some guy who was worse boyfriend material than a pair of used socks.

Instead, the world and the men in it are now your oyster. Then again, it could also be that the Trader Joe’s tissue box has the following inscription on the side: “I’m always there when you need me. Sincerely, Tissue.” And, likewise, when being single, you are always there when you need yourself, as opposed to looking out for your boyfriend.

I like being single, because I’m always there when I need me.


Being single rocks

Many of us choose being single at some point or other. Why? Because we can travel the world and do whatever we wish on our own terms. In a sense, you are in a relationship with yourself – this is your time to work on yourself and your life, giving of yourself to yourself. And you and you can do whatever you like.

Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.


Of course, being single also means you have time for travel, adventure and all those crazy things you wouldn’t if you were in a relationship. Or maybe you would, but now you can choose where to go and whom with. No one will bug you about wanting to spend an extra day in Paris eating fancy cakes, sipping wine and flirting with the waiters at the local Parisian café.

I’m not a single woman. I’m in a long term relationship with action, adventure and fun.


Being single is a nice break

Often you let people into your life who give you what you are used to (not always the best of things, as we all have some patterns we wish to break) or who are on the same level as you mentally, sexually and emotionally. This means you have to take some time to grow into who you wish to be if you want to find the true man for you.

On the other hand, sometimes meeting that man means he will go on that journey with you; supporting you. The important thing to remember is that when the time is right and the heart is open, a man usually enters.

Being single doesn’t mean no one loves you… It just means that God is busy writing your love story.

being single

Being single means one less mistake

We watch romantic comedies about getting hitched in Vegas, or having to raise a godson or goddaughter together with someone you hate only to realize you adore one another. In real life, however, realizing you are stuck with Mr. Wrong is not a pleasant experience.

It’s heartbreaking being married to the wrong man…so why not have fun finding Mister Right instead of wishing you were already married?

It’s better to be single wishing you were married than married wishing you were single.


I don’t have intimacy problems…

Of course, there are those of us who are single and don’t have any intimacy problems whatsoever. We are perfect in all ways. The only issue is that no one knows us. I repeat: no issues whatsoever.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. ~ Garry Shandling


Discovering men on your own terms

When you are single, you have the perfect opportunity to discover the world’s finest men…and a few whom you learn never to discover again. It’s a time for thorough investigation into what men are truly like. All of them. All billions of single, hot men around the world… If you thought Samantha in SATC had it going for her, now’s the time for you to try her lifestyle, at least for a little while.

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.~ Russell Brand


Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~Woody Allen


How to scare off men when dating

Sometimes, when you are single and happily dating, you meet men who you…uh, wish you never met. But not to fret – there are easy ways of, so to speak, getting rid of them which don’t involve getting a coffin for them (that would just be too much hassle and too many hot policemen to deal with afterwards, don’t you think? Personally I think one must refrain from such nonsense at all cost.

Clean conscience after all makes one look younger. And one should look young when single). All one has to do is to introduce the poor fella to one’s family. Only problem, of course, being that he might be mad enough to like them. In which case, you still have a problem, or a need for a one way ticket to somewhere else.

Might as well take the chance to travel (away from him) whilst you are free and single. Hopefully he is not the kind who does it all for love and follows you to the Bermuda Triangle.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. ~ Chelsea Handler


The pity party

Should it be that one day you feel like you just can’t handle the thought of being single anymore, just have a look at your friends who are getting divorced. It’s an instant perk me up if you compare your situation. On the other hand, don’t look to them when thinking about the future. Better look at all those snug married couples for that.

Only, you don’t have to think about them right this very moment. No, think about those that are unhappily getting divorced, as opposed to happily being single…

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. ~ Unknown


Single and dating

Ever heard all your friends get together and complain about the men they are dating? Either they are too clingy, or can’t commit. Or they dress badly, or are so hot other women just can’t keep their hands off. Well, lucky for you that you are so single you don’t have bad taste in men anymore.

In fact, you are working on developing your taste by ogling all single men out there, trying to decide who is worthy of your charms. And you’d never date anyone who isn’t, naturally.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.~ Bill Maher


Snug married couples

Ever watched Bridget Jones’ Diary? There’s an epic scene where everyone asks her about her relationship status, and she starts talking about the divorce rate. So, if people bug you too much, just remember there are snarky replies. Or there’s just the truth; that you are waiting for a miracle. Either they will then pity you and shut up or get the hint: you are waiting for a miracle and won’t date anyone who isn’t.

Relationship status: waiting for a miracle.

Likewise, you could tell them that you do, in fact, have a boyfriend. There’s only the slight issue of time travel to be resolved, as he lives in the future, with your future self.

I’m not single. I’m in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in the future.

Of course, if ugly Aunty Beata and her equally ugly husband just won’t stop bugging you, you can try the unflattering truth as a reply to their comments. Simply tell them you can’t understand they found anyone at all to marry, or that their choice was so appalling you can’t understand why they are still with them.

Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask why you’re still married.

Another thing to tell the ever asking is simply that you have found the one you want to spend the rest of your days with: your true self.

I’ve been single for a while and I have to say it’s going very well. Like…it’s working out. I think I’m the one. ~ Emily Heller

One should always love oneself, after all.

The romance

When you are single, it’s very romantic at times. Like you can light candles and sit by the fireplace, reading romance novels and sipping wine, or marshmallow topped hot chocolate without interruption. Brilliant! You can also watch whatever romantic comedy you like, as no one will be complaining (apart from your lonely heart that is).

Or, you can even cook yourself nice dinners, go for strolls in nature and enjoy long bubble baths. You can love yourself up from head to toe and get very inspired in the romance department. Failing that, you can, of course, try ice cream therapy followed by gym therapy (or the other way around for that healthy feel when indulging in ice cream).

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

Truth be told, being single is a chance to change your ideas about relationships in general – it’s a time to upgrade your life and decide that the next man you meet will be a great one.

What  being single really teaches you about life?

There are things single life can teach you that you just can’t learn if you’re always committing to someone else. Here are all the things that being single has taught me about life.

It may seem even harder when you’re single, but that time alone can teach you more about yourself and life than you think.

Just remember to treat yourself as the fabulous woman that you are. Put on that red lipstick and wear those heels that everyone says are too high because you are a single woman who is fabulous enough to do whatever she wants

About the author

Maria Montgomery

Writer. Social Entrepreneur. Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…

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