10 Tips on How to Go to a Bar Alone

I’m not one for being bored, but I’m also extremely nervous when it comes to getting out and going places that are crowded and involve alcohol. Still, I’ve learned over the past few weeks that sometimes you can’t just stay at home; you have to go out and give it a try.

While most of my friends have told me that I should try to meet men at a coffee shop or library, the truth is that most guys can be found at a bar on a Saturday night. There still seems to be some mixed feelings on women in a bar alone, but most men tend to agree that it shows confidence in a woman, which is very attractive.

If you want to go out and meet those guys (or just get away from your apartment for a few hours), then you need to go out safely. Here’s how to go to a bar by yourself.

#1 Go to the Right Place

The first thing to do is choose the right locale. There are many different types of bars, and some are much cleaner and safer than others. Every city has a happening hot spot as well as a place you’re likely to get stabbed.

Do some research and ask around. Look online for bars and check out the ratings on Yelp. Also, when you get to the bar, sit down for a minute and take your time looking at the menu to get a feel of the place before you order. If it doesn’t look like your kind of crowd, then leave and find another bar.

#2 Park Close to the Bar

If you’re sitting alone at a bar, you’re open to predators. Make sure you park close to the bar on a well-lit and well occupied street. Avoid back alleys and places with little light. There is no reason to put yourself in harm’s way. Keep your eyes open and stay alert.

#3 Dress Appropriately

If you’re going to a bar by yourself, dress in jeans and a classy top. Do not wear anything see through, low cut, short, or promiscuous. Seriously. You want to draw the right kind of attention, not the wrong kind when you’re alone. Also, wear sensible shoes – nothing you can’t walk in comfortably. When you feel comfortable and at ease, you will be comfortable and at ease.

#4 Take a Book

I often take a small paperback when I go to a bar alone. Usually, some guy comes up and asks me what I’m reading. The book serves two purposes: First, it’s a conversation starter. Second: It gives you an excuse to politely tell a guy, “I’m sorry, I’m really just here to read a little and relax after a long week, but thank you anyway,” if you’re not interested in his advances. My advice, choose a book that can start a conversation. Detective novels and books based on movies are great choices. I got a phone number by reading a Mario Puzo novel once. Stay away from magazines, Teen books (no Potter), anything that makes you look like a hardcore feminist, and romance novels.

#5 Order an Appetizer

When you get there, sit at the bar, get to know the bartender a little (male or female), and order an appetizer, then settle in with your book. I guarantee conversations will soon begin.

#6 Do Not Get Drunk

No matter how much fun it is, don’t get drunk. Your goal is to have fun, but remember: you’re by yourself which means you have to drive home. Have one drink. If a guy offers to buy you a drink, tell him you’re driving but would love a cup of coffee. Any guy worth an ounce will respect that and buy you a coffee.

#7 Be Sociable but Not Encouraging

Talk to those around you. You can ask what’s good to eat, what drink the person beside you is having because it looks amazing, you can talk about the weather…make small talk. I smiled at a guy as I walked into a bar once, just because he was in front of me and I thought it would be polite to smile, and his girlfriend, who had her back turned, went nuts when he said, “That girl just smiled at me”. Men can misread a smile, so make sure you talk to everyone around you (including, and especially, the bartender).

#8 If You Meet a Guy, Give Him Your Number

If you get a conversation going with a guy and he asks you out, give him your number instead of leaving with him. I met a really nice guy at the same bar I just told you about, and he asked me if I wanted to continue the conversation over something to eat somewhere else instead. I declined, but gave him my number for him to call me later. He did.

#9 Leave Before it Gets Too Late

There’s no reason for you to be at a bar by yourself late at night. In all honesty, I would suggest packing it up and heading out no later than eleven PM. That way, you get to leave before the bar gets too drunk, you don’t have to worry about drunken unwanted advances, and you really don’t have to worry about jealous girlfriends.

#10 Leave a Good Tip

Before you leave, thank the bartender again, say, “Oh, by the way my name is…” and shake his or her hand so they’ll remember you, and leave a very big tip. Even if the service sucked, a big tip is always remembered, and the next time you come in the bartender is much more likely to have your back if someone starts giving you a hard time.

Romantic bars are good for eating alone, but horrible for picking up a date. College bars are good for finding a one night stand. Bars in the center of downtown are usually more laid back and easy to be comfortable in, as long as you get there early enough to chat with the staff. If you’re looking for a fun, safe, and easy place to be alone but still feel cool, go to a gay bar. They have the best food, the hottest music, and the guys are all very good looking (but obviously unapproachable).

So, are you brave enough to go out alone?

Cover photo: weheartit.com