Why Romantic Comedies Can Ruin Your Self-Esteem

Despite being single for almost six years now, even I have to admit that I love a good romantic comedy. Still, I find myself crying in my ice-cream afterwards. Sure, these films are meant to make me feel good, but, in reality, I just end up sobbing miserably and going to bed. So why does that happen?

Actually, there are quite a few reasons why romantic comedies make you feel less happy and more…lonely. Even women in relationships find themselves wondering what’s wrong with them and their own guy after watching one of these films. While I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch romantic comedies, I will tell you that it’s important to remember they’re just movies. Here are ten reasons why you feel so bad after watching a romantic comedy.

#1 Men are Awesome

In every romantic comedy I’ve ever seen, the men are awesome. Even the frat boy jerk that’s the hero’s best friend is still, in his own right, awesome, which leaves women like us wondering, “Why isn’t my guy awesome?” or “Why can’t I find an awesome guy?”

The truth is: These guys rarely exist. You’re not going to find Mr. Romantic Comedy on every city street corner waiting for you to get your shoe stuck in a wad of chewing gum so he can come and save you. While there are great guys out there, you must remember that they’re over-exaggerated in romantic comedies, so don’t feel bad if your guy doesn’t bring you flowers or stand outside the window in a trench coat with a boom box.

#2 The Women Never Put in Any Effort

Another reason your self-esteem might be feeling bruised is because the women in romantic comedies rarely have to put in any relationship effort. The men usually make the first move, they do the chasing, they screw it up, and then they redeem themselves with a giant romantic gesture.

When we don’t put in any effort, we don’t get a date. Romantic comedies aren’t telling us the whole truth. You have to put in relationship effort; you have to get out there and try.

#3 The Women are Always Successful

I’m a single mom with two jobs who barely makes ends meet. That almost never happens in a romantic comedy. All the women are slender, gorgeous, in their prime, and highly successful, which is horrible for our ego. Remember: You don’t have to be a size two with a top notch career to find true love. The movies are lying to you.

#4 There are Rarely Single Moms

Although there are romantic comedies where the object of his affection is a single mom, it’s not a common occurrence. If you’re a single mom, then romantic comedies can definitely hurt your self-esteem. It’s important to remember that unless you’re into the frat boy party guy, good men will want to be in your child’s life, too. Trust me; I know.

#5 Their Life Looks Way More Fun

Another reason romantic comedies ruin your self-esteem is because everyone is having way more fun than you. That’s right: They’re living it up at cool parties and awesome concerts or drinking at the hippest bars. Statistically speaking, you’re more likely to run into Mr. Right when you’re in your hair curlers and sweatpants at the grocery store, so don’t worry about missing those fancy parties. In fact, Mr. Right would much rather snuggle at home with you anyway.

#6 The Men Fall Instantly in Love

If you’ve had a string of first dates (I’ve had four in the past six months), then romantic comedies will definitely ruin your self-esteem. According to these films, the right guy will see you from across the room, time will stand still, and he’ll pursue you relentlessly until you fall hopelessly in love with him. If you’re lucky enough to have this kind of thing happen, then kudos to you. For the rest of us ladies…it takes guys a while to fall in love, so don’t give up hope, just give it some time. Usually they figure it out once they’ve let you go (that’s actually a fact).

#7 Sex is Never a One Night Stand

Romantic comedies often lie to us by making that one night stand the perfect guy. How often have you done the walk of shame never to hear from him again? Exactly. Don’t let your ego be bruised by promises of one night’s true love. Just take it for what it was – good sex.

#8 The Man is Successful and Good Looking

Women in romantic comedies never fall for the janitor. They never realize their true love or soul mate is just a guy who delivers pizza for a living. Lower your standards and you will find your ego less bruised. Honestly, I just want a middle-aged Italian mechanic who doesn’t talk much and makes me pasta every night. The CEO thing doesn’t impress me.

#9 The Man Puts in More Effort than They Ever Do in Reality

Stop letting your self-esteem be hurt by thinking about all the things your guy does not do for you. Stop thinking that he should bring you flowers every week, or that he will never forget your birthday or anniversary. Your man is human. Those superhuman men in romantic comedies are ruining us by making us think all men are that awesome. They’re not, ladies. All men are just men.

#10 There’s Always an Airport Scene

Another reason your self-esteem is hurting right now is because these movies teach us that men will always come back at the last second. There’s always a scene where they stop you before you get on the plane to leave or they jump on the bus with you. I’ve been to the airport with a guy, I said goodbye, and he didn’t look back. He didn’t ask me to stay with him.

Don’t let romantic comedies make you think that life is perfect and that the right guy will know it as soon as he sees you. The truth is, the right guy will know it after he gets to know you, but you have to do your part, too.

Can you think of any other reasons why romantic comedies are ruining your self-esteem?