I’ve heard people say numerous times that guys and girls can’t just be friends, there’s always one person who falls in love. Plus, sex with your friend in a no strings attached relationship always complicates things and someone ALWAYS gets attached.
That might be true.
However, most of us with besties of the opposite sex at least try to keep things on a strictly platonic level. Sometimes, though, we cross that line and wake up in bed naked next to the person who knows every little thing about us (including, now, how we have sex).
For the most part, it’s embarrassing. It’s also awkward, confusing, and a little bit frightening.
Don’t worry, I know what to do. Here’s how to handle things when you’ve had sex with your best friend.
First and foremost, don’t panic! You’re not the first set of friends to end up naked in bed together, and you won’t be the last. It happens, and it definitely doesn’t have to ruin your relationship. Take a deep breath and remain calm. You’ll get through this.
You and your best friend have to act normal with each other. If you have plans to see a movie together, don’t break those plans. If you planned on grabbing a bite to eat or going to a show the next day, you still need to go! Changing your plans because of sex will not only ruin your plans, it could also very likely unintentionally ruin your relationship.
Talk about what happened
I know what you’re going to say, most guys don’t want to talk about their feelings. That’s true, most guys don’t.
Still, you’re going to have to open up and have this conversation at some point in time so that you’re sure of how he feels about things. If he is okay with it just being two friends having sex, and you feel the same, then you and your best friend can go on being best friends and put the whole thing behind you.
But you have to talk about the proverbial elephant in the room before you can move on to just being friends again.
Decide if it was just sex or something more
There might be a chance, however, that the feelings you have for each other are more than just friendship, which is why it’s imperative that you and your bestie talk about things. If it is more than just sex, discuss where to go from there. Maybe he wants to date you, maybe you both want to just see what happens naturally, or maybe you want to keep having sex occasionally and see where it leads to.
How does he feel about it?
Make sure your best friend tells you how he really feels about the sex. If he feels awkward and confused, respect his feelings. If he feels more than he should, recognize and acknowledge his emotions. You have to let him tell you how he feels before you tell him how you feel, or else he might try to hide what’s really going on in his mind.
Allow yourselves time to think
Sleeping with your best friend can be a bit of a shock to the system. As I mentioned before, I don’t recommend cancelling any preset plans, but it might be a good idea if you and your bestie decide to take a short break from each other and just allow yourselves time apart to think.
The thing about best friends is that you’re always together, and that can be confusing in a situation like this. It’s okay to take a little bit of a breather.
Hang out, see what happens
After a little bit of time alone, get back into the groove of things slowly. Test the waters by hanging out and just seeing what happens and how you feel. Are you comfortable around each other? Can the two of you crack a joke just like before without any weirdness? Are you able to keep your hands off each other?
Maybe the opposite is happening and you can’t stop yourselves from getting intimate with each other (especially now that you know how good he is in bed). Just see what happens.
Make a decision
Eventually, you and your best friend are going to have to come to a decision regarding your relationship. You will have to talk about things again and come to an agreeable conclusion. I can’t tell you what to do here, it’s different for everyone.
However, I will say that you should never sleep with someone if the feelings are not mutual (if you love him, but he doesn’t love you for example). If this is the case, you and your friend should not be having sex.
There are other potential scenarios and feelings that you and your best friend might have to deal with. For example, is it really love you’re feeling for each other and not just sex or friendship?
Best friends are hard to come by
One thing I urge you to keep in mind and consider is that best friends are very hard to come by. It’s not easy to find a best friend, someone who can share your joy and pain, and it’s even more difficult to find a friend you can trust with your entire life’s secrets.
No matter what you decide after sex, remember that best friends are very rare and you should hold them dear. It’s not worth losing a great friendship for a night of weakness and passion. Remember, boyfriends come and go, but best friends are forever. What are you going to choose?