As women we all want to be adored, don’t we? Sadly we sometimes do things that turn men off. Not because our personality isn’t great and they don’t love us or aren’t attracted to us, but because sometimes we don’t know what message we are communicating. Check out the 10 biggest turn offs for guys and have a healthier relationship.
#1 Degrading Yourself
Your man – whether your man for the night or life – chose you because he’s attracted to you. If you start saying that you are too fat, too skinny, too stupid, too geeky… you make him feel like he was stupid for choosing you. If you think you need to gain or lose a kilo, or two, or you feel you want to change a certain element of your behavior, then do so.
Don’t moan about how bad you are though; rather set about being who you truly see yourself being. After all, don’t you love it when your man is genuinely confident? Not cocky, but confident.
If you are on a date and complain about everything, your date won’t feel appreciated. Maybe you did end up at a terrible place, or it’s too hot a day, or you are feeling a bit off and you can share your thoughts, but don’t moan and mope. Rather focus on the fact that you are getting to spend quality time with Mr. Hotness himself. Read our post on how complaining is ruining your relationship.
He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
#3 Using Dates to Solve Problems
If you have a problem, you need to solve it. While you can share your problem with your man and discuss it, letting your date revolve around it isn’t going to encourage a romantic mood.
Unless something big has happened and you really need a shoulder to cry on rather than a hot night in the bedroom, talk about it, but then move on to other topics.
#4 Lights Off
If someone is attracted to you, why do you want to turn the lights off? They chose you and your body. Be happy about it.
#5 Changing the Man
If you are in a relationship, you have all the right in the world to complain if you see your man throwing his life to the lions, because your life will be affected by his choices. And you might also have thoughts about his personal style (fashion and men aren’t always a match made in heaven).
However, berating him isn’t going to help. Rather bring out the best in him by focusing on what you love about him and support him to be the man you love. If that doesn’t work and you can’t love him for whom he is, then it’s time to move on. Staying and complaining isn’t going to help him or you.
#6 Putting Down His Buddies
You chose the man, but he had already chosen his friends. If his friends are a terrible influence, you can tell him, but if you simply just don’t click with them, don’t moan about it.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time with his friends, but be nice about it. He will probably want to show you off in front of them. Let him. When you choose to be with someone, you have to accept them for who they are including who they choose to spend their time with – unless their friends are bringing them down. Even so, you can tell them and if they don’t choose to see your point, then you either accept and love them anyway, or you move on.
#7 Getting Jealous When He Looks at Other Women
If a man sees a woman he finds attractive, chances are he will stare. It’s biological. Instead of getting jealous, be happy he chose you. Allow and encourage his sex fantasies, then make sure he lives them out with you….
#8 Trying to Trap Him
If you are trying to control your man by not allowing him to see female friends, or trying to get him to marry you by manipulation, you aren’t showing him respect. You have to trust him. If you are dating a man you don’t trust, you are with the wrong man. If you want to get married and he doesn’t, then you can’t be angry. You just have to find the right man who will, indeed, marry you.
You can’t mold a person to be who you want them to be, nor can you gain trust by restricting what someone can and can’t do. Rather make sure to build an open and honest relationship where you feel you can trust your man any day and pick someone who envisions the same future.
If you are trying to make a man do something he doesn’t want to, then you don’t love him for who he is, but rather for who you want him to be and it’s not going to turn him on. Quite the opposite. Nobody likes to feel manipulated, controlled or cornered. Being any of these is just a sign of your own insecurity. And that’s one of the biggest turn offs for guys.
#9 Comparing Him to Others Where He Falls Short
Don’t start talking about how much you appreciate Brad Pitt’s abs in front of him if you know he doesn’t have a six pack. Let’s just say that he will start feeling inferior and won’t feel turned on.
He will love it if you compliment him, especially around friends, rather than talk about men who you consider better than him in any area. Show him off, and be proud. It will make him feel sexy and wanted.
#10 Belittling Him
He chose you because he wanted a partner, not a mother. Let him be a man and make decisions. Don’t humiliate him in front of others by putting him down. And if you are a strong-willed woman, sometimes step back and encourage him to take the reins. Let him feel like he is smoking hot and has the capacity to look after you and protect you. Show how much you adore him. Show how hot you think he is. Compliment him.
Especially in longer relationships, it’s only too easy to take the other person for granted and start moaning about what you don’t like about them, rather than appreciating what you love. You never know how long you have with someone. Face your problems, but also ensure each day counts. Each day is a new day to show your man how much you adore him. Don’t smother him; simply be sure to compliment him and show your appreciation and thankfulness.
He wants to see you shine. Even if he knows what you look like in sweatpants and no makeup, be sure to give him the treat to see you dressed up from time to time. Wear a hot outfit when you go on a date. Make an effort when you’re meeting with friends so he can show off the beautiful woman he is with. And…and… get some nice lingerie. He loves you best naked, but half of that process is getting your clothes off…
And One More Thing…
Men are complex creatures and they get turned off easily, but, luckily, there are more things that turn them on in a second. This is just what they want, and YOU TOO can learn how to give it to them! Believe me, this insanely amazing guide will open you a whole new perspective!
These were some of the biggest turn offs for guys… can you think of any others? The most important thing is to learn what your man really wants and how to give it to him.