How to Tell if a Man Wants a Relationship with You

We all go through the world of "dating hell" so we could find that special someone.

Every day, a great number of women exchange phone numbers, go on awkward first dates, try to avoid all those types of men no woman should date and do many other things they don’t really want to do. Yet, they all strive for that silver lining in the future – a fulfilling emotional partnership. Maybe you’re one of them and maybe you’re never sure how to tell if a man wants a relationship with you?

This isn’t anything out of the ordinary, at least from my professional experience. Unlike men, most women are mindful of their biological clock, and those who want to have children understand that their ‘’window of opportunity’’ isn’t everlasting. This may produce a bigger level of pressure, but, even if you’re not planning a family, it’s likely you desire a lasting relationship.

For example, almost all women in their 20s and 30s that I have spoken to about marriage answered in the same manner – they all hoped for it, but were at the same time ready to move on if their boyfriend didn’t turn out to be the ‘’husband material’’ they were looking for. On the other hand, it’s much harder to determine what the same age group of men wants from casual dating. That’s why getting on the same page with men may seem like a really hard task.

No matter what’s your goal, here are a few signs that will help you determine if a man wants a relationship with you.

He is Taking It Slow

lovely couple with sunglasses smiling

Here is an experience from one woman I have worked with – she started dating a man, everything was going smoothly, until she felt the time is right to take their relationship to a full sexual level. But, strangely, she felt like he was avoiding it somehow – he didn’t want to come to her apartment after their meetings, and didn’t invite her to sleep over. She was confused because they got to kissing on their first date, and didn’t know what he was thinking. After a week or two of more delays, they finally had sex, after which he admitted he didn’t want to rush it because he really like her.

This isn’t unusual. A lot of men will choose to delay sexual intercourse if they think there is a possibility for a longer relationship, but most won’t come out and say it. This phenomenon is hard to explain, but may be in part described as his way of testing you.

If everything is going well, don’t force your first sexual contact. It doesn’t necessarily mean the man is seeking a long relationship, but be open for this possibility.

Meeting His Friends and Family

This is one of the surest ways you can tell he is interested in a longer relationship. If you find yourself being introduced to his circle of friends or family early on, he probably wants to integrate you in his life. Encourage and embrace these meetings if you’re interested in him.

At the same time, think about doing the same and introduce him to your friends and other people you hold dear. It may seem completely ordinary, but this is a very healthy way to begin the process of merging your separate lives into a new partnership.

Committing Himself to Your Schedule

shopping couple portrait

Usually, men are territorial about their daily routines in the begging’s of a relationship, because most see themselves as independent and self-reliant. If your new boyfriend shows interest in your activities, he probably want to somehow participate, or, in other words, spend more time with you. Majority of men care about their ego to much to openly declare their desires.

Be understanding and play along if they want to pick you up after work or help you when you go shopping. But, be mindful this interest in your life doesn’t start to mutate in to possessiveness. As long as they don’t force themselves on your routines, it’s probably OK.

Entering a serious relationship takes time and effort. Look for signs that I mentioned and please share your own thoughts about this process by leaving a comment. I believe every woman can appreciate an advice on how to tell if a man wants a relationship with you.

About the author


I am a psychologist, author and a journalist, currently in training for a Gestalt therapy degree. I am mostly interested in emotional relationships and the process of change in people endlessly fascinates me. When I’m not working, I enjoy movies, novels, travel and snowboarding.


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  • Rwlationships are so hard and scary. Im 40, been in bad and good relationships. A guy i met over a year ago, recently told me he really want be with me. We,never had sex, or kissed i consider that an A+, but we never talk on phone a lot, he texts,me a lot. Once he invited me over to cook for me and get know,me, i declined. I did accept his offer to b in a relationship, but im having faith it works,out, few factors im worried about????

  • I have read all this and now know when a man is all over you and wants just sex,its all they will ever want !!
    I have also waited for sex to happen and they still go.
    I think if you both want it too work it possibly might….but I also think dont try too hard as a relationship will never happen. Be yourself and enjoy life and positive thoughts

  • Im a girl that’s been liking this guy for the past few yrs and we do things together bt no relationship came out should i wait for him to say I’m ready

  • i guess this page gave me a better idea if my man really loves me.. hmm.. i haven’t met his family yet — well, im very eager for that but he’s somewhat a bit uncomfortable with it.. i have a sense that until now, he doesn’t want me to meet his family.. gosh!! but all that he’s saying was he loves me that much.. how could i believe himn?

  • Why when u in a relationship and things is not going well and you told him to leave for good.he find an apartment pay the deposit and he never move in