#1 Has He Really Stopped Loving You
Before you engage yourself in solving a problem you first need to figure out if there is a problem to begin with. You may think that your husband doesn’t love you anymore when this could be as far away from the truth.
Start looking for clues and try to find out how your husband feels, but the best thing you can do is sit down and actually talk to your husband.
Tell him how you feel, tell him the reasons why you think he doesn’t love you anymore and ask him to tell you how he feels. It could all be just in your head and could be solved with some talk and spending some more time together.
But then again, you could be right, and if your husband has actually stopped loving you, you can try to do something about it. Keep reading.
#2 Find a Reason
When you’ve already gathered courage and sat down to talk to your husband and he has admitted that he started feeling different about you, have courage to ask what went wrong. There could be more than just one reason, and there probably is since people usually don’t just stop loving other people for no reason.
Prepare yourself to hear things you might not like. Keep in mind that you are trying to save your marriage here, and to make your husband love you again. You will need to work hard but if you manage it in the end, all the effort will be worth it.
#3 Solve The Problem
Once you’ve established a reason why your husband stopped loving you, do everything you can to solve this problem. It is not going to be easy, but if you both promise yourselves and each other to try, you might just end up saving your marriage and loving each other again, maybe even more than before.
If you can’t do it alone, seek professional help. The most important thing is not to give up until you at least try to make things better.
#4 Remind Him Why He Fell in Love With You in the First Place
Your husband had to love you at some point in his life and even though he is not feeling the same love now, it is not too late to do something about it. One of the best ideas would be to remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place.
Try to regain as much things you had when you two met as possible. If you were thinner, try to lose some weight. If your hair was longer, let it grow long again. If you two spent more time together, try to spend more time together now too.
Get away for the weekend, just the two of you and spend some time reminding yourselves of how you fell in love with each other and remembering all the good things about your marriage. Once you see that your marriage was much better than worse, you will have more strength to work on in again.
#5 Increase Intimacy
A lot of couples suffer from lack of intimacy. People work long hours, don’t see much of each other and even when they find some time, they are usually too tired and exhausted from everyday life. Don’t let this happen to you, and in case it has already happened start fixing it right away.
Take a couple of days off and travel somewhere with your husband. Use this time to talk and to work on your marriage. You can start working less or part time if your financial situation allows you to, in order to spend more time together. Kiss, hug and make love.
Your husband might be just missing intimacy with you, which made him so distant at first place. Don’t let your marriage be another one that has fallen apart because of lack of intimacy. Work on it, and yes – have as much sex as you can, because physical intimacy increases psychological intimacy as well.
Unfortunately, sometimes there is nothing you can do and you will have to accept that. Marriages fall apart and a good divorce is still better than a bad marriage. Just don’t give up before you even try. Don’t hide your problems, but rather talk about them and do your best to solve them. Follow these tips and you’ll succeed in making your husband love you again.
Marriage sucks…. My husband has such a hot head, that we can talk. We end up fighting everyday, we dont kiss, i actually think we havent kissed all week. So u should already know how the sex is….none, idk what to do, he really just dont care for me
My husband an I been together for 8yrhis not romantic or shows much affection when I try to talk to him about what’s going on with him an telling him how I feel we just end up fighting an going to bed like that we dong hug’ kiss, or make love maybe once a month he only says I love u when we hang up the phone or I am going too work or vise versa we have kids together an I really love this man his a great dad an when I try too leave him he actually will begg me too stay an will even cry his really jealous when other guys check me out or try too hit on me he protects me from everything like I am his baby girl but when it comes too the small things like love an affection its not there he those not work because his disabled now so he says that’s why his down an feels useless but why put me through this if all I want too do is be there for you I treat him like a king I cater to his every needs I just want to be treated like the queen I know I should be treated like those he still love me or is he just with me for the kids an his comfortable this way have I lost my self I did gain a lil weight after are last son plus I do work a lot what else can I do to help him love me an show affection the way he use too back when…. :-(
try marriage counseling. it really helped us. the counselor had both of us go separately for two sessions, then she brought us together for the rest. it was refreshing. she was able to work on us individually, then as a couple.
Hi Destiny…..I was having the same problem, until I just had a major meltdown and put it all on the table….we are working things out now. And believe me, my husband is very difficult to talk to. Hang in there especially if you still really love him.
i try to talk to my husband about lots of things and we just end up in a big fight. i dont know what to do anymore. sometimes it seems like he don’t even listen to what i have to say or how i feel. im starting to feel like the problem is me and i know its not. He knows that i love him because i tell him everyday and sex isn’t the same anymore.
it is becoz they are looking for a change.. and the change i think is stop talking or bugging them.. and say that you are right! they love to hear that hahah
i am also working on my relationship.. i was able to counsel him.. but still not able to convince him to hold me, kiss me or be intimate.. so i believe it will take sometime.. we need to be more patient :(
good luck..
I don’t know what to do anymore. My husband treats me like sh*t all the time. We still have a lot of sex but we haven’t kissed in over a year, he hasn’t told me he loves me in over a year. I tell him I love him every day. I honestly don’t know what to do. I try to talk to him and he just gets mad and he doesn’t like talking about feelings so every time I try he tells me to grow up.
I have a good husband he looked after me and my boys he was always with us but he one day came home and asked me for a divorce I was shocked beyong believe and taken by surprise. When I asked him why he would get angry and we would fight I then decided that if he wanted a divorce he would have to give me a valid reason so he said…he didn’t love me anymore…..I was too controlling …..I was a negetive thinker and I got fat. Wow!
oh my goodness! how long were u guys together? did u end up agreeing to the divorce now? how long ago was this?
Already reading some of y’all situations have helped me in my marriage, glad I looked this up
I wish there was some secret to get your hubby to communicate. Mine wont talk and I’ll do anything to fix and solve our issues. I’m in it for forever ! Hope he is too.
they like to see us suffer, what i did was became more stronger and more prettier.. dressed up like a princess and went out for shopping, asked for money and he was like wtf.. i am trying to make her cry and she is not bothered haha so in the beginning i made him feel i need him and now i am so calm and cool that he got annoyed that why isn’t she coming for me.. he liked to be seduced but now i am waiting for him to do it :p
it is mind games.. i am here to share and know more about men!
You right it is all mind games so how do you play the mind games with them ?
Me and my husband have been together for 19 years. And he just recently told me that he doesn’t love me like he used to. This crushed me for I love him more then life itself. He also talks to another girl. But says he is just friends and nothing will ever come of it. Which I find this totally wrong. And that he doesn’t want to stop talking to her. But he says he wants to work on our marriage. Is this possible. I am so confused.
they want a change.. find out about the other girl and see how she looks…and try and bring a good change in yourself and see if that works.. my hubby was like woaaah! when he sees me ;) i lost 20 lbs and i look sexier and more confident.. ppl have started passing comments so why wouldn’t he notice u know…!
So sad but yess hopefully i will lose some weight to gain sexy back to live.
i started going to the gym and have lost 40lbs. i will turn 50 in December. i have been married for 26 yrs and i get alot of compliments on how good i look from both men and women. when my hubby hears this he just says ya she looks good. and then nothing else. sometimes it would be nice to hear ya thats my lady and aint nobody gonna touch my baby cuz shes all mine. i would love him to just show a little jealousy that it would actually bother him to see another guy be interested in me
I agree that men just want change. I believe that the only way to save a marriage is to start by saving yourself. When you don’t feel loved, you sometimes start doing self destructive things, like eating junk food, watching tv all day instead of taking care of things at home, going upstairs and distancing yourself from your husband, finding solace with another, more “understanding male friend”. Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself what’s wrong with me. Then start the work you need to fix it. That’s when our men start noticing and sniffing around again.
Jody it is possible that they are just friends,but you also have to ask yourself this will he let you talk to her or all of you guys all hand out together? If he does i dont see a problem with that but if he is really stand offish with this idea then i would have to say he has intentions that are not good for you and your marriage. It is often difficult to be just friends with the opposite sex! expectantly if they find one another attractive! I give my heart out to the married women it seems like we put up with a hell of alot more then the guys do! everyone of these comments relate to me and my husband! I just dont know what more i can do at this time.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years. We are best friends and tell each other everything. The problem is I’m not feeling it anymore. I’m still just in as in love with him now as I was 16 years ago but I’m NOT feeling it from him anymore. I feel like the spark is gone and he’s lost intrest. I tried to talk to him but he ALWAYS says he still loves me but why can’t I feel it like I use too. Could something else be going on here???? HELP!
I know exactly how you feel.
My husband and I have been together for 5 years we been married for 2 years and have an amazing little girl he served in the marines and I was faithful loyal when he deployed. When he got out of the marines and we had our baby got married things were Going down hill yet we told each other we loves one another I know I am stubborn but so is he and now about 3 weeks ago he started school and meet someone else he didn’t say he was married but when I found out I confronted him I told him what was he doing and he said he was sorry to leave him but I said no then I find out that he still with her an now they are starting to have sex he said he doesn’t know why he is doing this and he tells me he doesn’t know who he will choose but when I read his texts they are different I’m not sure what to do I am afraid he will not choose me and leave with this 19 year old who has a kid of her own and knows he is married :/
Okay, so, I’m 20 weeks pregnant, with our second child…We had a still birth in March of 2012…We got married that July, after having been together for 2 years already, we wanted to make it official, with me having his last name! We got pregnant again in November of 2013….Since I have been pregnant, we have had TONS of complications with this pregnancy….I have been a B*tch to him all pregnancy, and I only have myself to blame, for pushing him away…I told him to choose between gaming(yes, he’s a gamer) and me…I know that it isn’t right, and I realize this now…I never took the time to listen to him…about normal things! I have pushed him into talking to another woman…who makes him happy, because she listened to him..and showed interest in him…He told me today, that he doesn’t want to be with me…I believe I can and will change! For the better…but he doesn’t believe it will work! He has stopped talking to this girl, but, still wants to separate, but we have 3 kids, (2 are mine from a previous marriage that he is adopting this wednesday)…He said that we can still live together, but legally separate, and be civil and be friends for our kids…I don’t want to loose him, because he is my soulmate! He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with…and I have already showed him a little bit of what I am changing about myself, by going fishing in 30 degree weather, and fishing, just isn’t my absolute favorite thing to do, but I went, to spend time with him and our kids…I love him with all my heart, and I honestly do not think this is the end for us!!! Am I just wasting my time? Does anyone have any suggestions of what I should do, with a man that thinks we are broken, when I know better?
I don’t know what to do. My husband moved out a year ago. At first it was a good thing. We started talking again going out and having fun. But now I dont know. All that has really changed is that he sleeps somewhere else. We have 3 kids. I love him very much, but he says he still doesn’t know what he wants. Sometimes he just wants to get away and I told him I feel the same. Do I just let go and file for Divorce or should I still try for a little longer. He still tells me he loves me. He has never said he doesn’t.
all i know is we can’t make ppl love us or hold them.. i am also in the same dilemma, my hubby wants to move out and i say that i can’t allow it coz my kids will suffer.. at least he comes home every day and spends sometime with his kids..
we are married for 14 yrs. I knew he was into relationships ever since we got married.. i also found out that he wanted to leave me long time ago around 10 yrs ago.. also found out that he was gonna run away with a married mother of 3 kids to another country and i found out through his emails that he had been talking with her over the internet web chats for more than a year.. and since he has been exposed.. he says our relationship is over.. and i say no coz u dont see our 3 kids and are just going for sex nothing more.. i seriously want to mend this relationship.. i know if he wanted to leave me, he would have but how can i make it better..
After reading y’all’s comments I have learned a lot,first that I am not alone and men will be men and just need to be smarter them.
me and my husband have been together for 11 years and married for 3. The last year or so I have felt him pulling away from me. About a month ago I fount out he had been talking to another women. He said they were just friends. She showed him att. and she talked to him about sports and that nothing has happend. But she sent him pics of her boobs. He said he would stop talking to her and changed his # but a few weeks later I found out he was still talking to her. I have been the best wife anyone could ask for. I cook, clean,and never say no to sex. I did gain a little weight after getting married but we have been going through fertility treatments go I thought it was normal. He said im to easy (but we need to have sex to have a baby) and that he has fallin out of love with me. that its not fair that I keep falling more and more in love with him. He has bad mood swings and can go off in a heart beat if someone looks at him the wrong way. I feel like im walking on egg shells around him. I started going to the gym (witch I would have never done befor) lost 20lbs, started dressing cuter, & the sex has been great. But he still says im being to pushy when I want him to tell me he loves me. I need him to show me he is sorry for having an emo. afire and that he wants me to stay. He says he wants to make it work and wants to have a baby. I know I will need someone to talk to to be able to learn to trust him again & he is willing to talk to someone also. I pray we can get back what we lost & that we can have a baby.
Well at least I am not alone although I have never felt so alone. We have been together for 5 years . But all of a sudden he is in another world. He says he is uncomfortable having sex with me because I keep wondering what happened either way we have none. he never looks at me more like looks away from me. He stopped saying I love you when he leaves which before was the only time i heard it. I dont know how to deal with the neglect and my heart tells me let him go. I recently lost everything trying to hold on to him now he is all i have. All I know is you just dont stop loving someone there is a reason which doesnt matter. I just dont know why he doesnt just tell me he doesnt love me anymore instead of the 100 reasons i get. Either way time to face the facts and maybe letting him go will bring him back, I only wish I could . If I let go its forever and I am not ready to find out he doesnt love me anymore. Men can be so cruel, but karma is a b*tch.
Men change their feelins so quickly.
I know it’s hard but try and stay positive.
Like you said Karma is a b*tch.
HELP! me and my husband have been married for almost 2 years and together for almost 7. We have two beautiful boys age 3 and 5.my husband was very sick recently where he was in hospital for weeks.i used to visit everyday. Anyway he had been back home a week when out the blue he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore and that while he was in hospital had thinking time.he also said he could of gone on forever pretending he did for the sake of our boys.i was gutted.the next day he moved out to his dads house. I have put a lot of weight on since being together.he also said he is not attracted to me anymore but my weight wasn’t the reason.i think it is.anyway I now dont know what to do. I love him to bits I also dont want to be a divorcee and my boys to have a broken family.i have moved very fast in trying to sort bills etc out to make him realise. I have also asked him not to see me or the boys for couple of weeks so we can adjust etc.and hopefully make him realise what he is losing. Although I would never stop him seeing the boys.i am also unsure now that if he does claim he loves me and wants to come back that he is only pretending. Help what do I do face the fact that he no longer loves me or try to fight but with everything we have currently had to fight together I dont think I have any fight left.HELP!!
My husband and I have been married for 14years. We only had sex for the first two. He stopped sleeping in the bed with me about 6months into our marriage for different reasons….he snored, the bed hurt his back, I was sick so he was giving me space etc…. our kids are12, (triplets) and have never known us to share a bedroom, much less a bed. Here’s the rub. ….he’s a pastor. A good one. I feel like though that we are being fake. How can we help others when we don’t even have it together???? I’m open to answer any and allllll questions you allllll have. I’m just desperate to understand.
I have been with my husband for 9 yrs been married for 8.. 14 moths after we got married I made a huge huge mistake I cheated on him.. We manged to work it out and get past it but,5 yrs later I did it again. Then one day I came home from work and it was a bad day for the both of us we got into a huge fight and he said he wanted a divorce, come to find out he was cheating on me it went on for 8 months then one day he decided he didn’t want to be with her. We really never set down and talked about what happen and why he cheated on me.. Now he wants to move out and get a divorce. I really need advice on how to save my marriage, He is the love of my life and my best friend and I don’t want to lose him
I am married about 2 years and my husband donst love me..he always likes another girls..he talks on phone..i have no idea what to do..my situation is very difficult to talk with him..he always fights with me..its all due to internet..he always carries a pics of girls from internet..my life is getting hell day by day..tell me how i stop internet or my husband ? Help me plzz ..sent me a gud solution
Ladies I will tell you a little secret. Yes we all get lazy at points and he have pains. Doesn’t mean you have tho let go yourself nor the relationship. And All man want is sex a full stomach. Treat your husband like if he was one of your kids they want love they don’t want to hear us nagging and even if your tired and he wants to have sex let him and act so he doesn’t feel bad. Have your house clean don’t let yourself go take a shower before he gets home. Be his best friend his wife his girlfriend and be like if he were to have another girl. All man love it when their wife is outgoing in bed that’s what they love best. Pay attention remind him how much you love him cuddle with him watch movies together just you guys alone no kids. Dress sexy to impress him. Never let your husband walk out the house without sex he would love that trust me ladies. Don’t let small things ruin your relationship and don’t let other girls take your place. Because if your not giving him what he wants he will go look for it somewhere else. Don’t give up ladies(:
My husband of 46 years has very little interest in me, I don’t believe there is any love so all these years have been difficult. We only had sex once and for him it was something only mentally deranged people do. Never happened again, we have never interacted he eat’s and sleeps in our basement and just before Christmas moved out to brand new garage with an apartment. This is something we couldn’t afford but he did it any way. He believes every one should do there own thing and depend on no one else. His rendition of the American way, only the weak have little vomiting kids.
MY husband and have been together for 27 years, we have a good relationship, dated for 3- years before we even got married. Had 2 boys,as we get older,its like things has changed between us, i mean theres no fighting,arguing,we just do our normal routine everyday life. There’s no hugging,no kissing, heck, there’s no love making. I feel like he’s not entrested in me anymore. when we go to bed at night, he turn’s one way, i turn the other way,we dont cuddle. And, i want to so bad. I cry about this everyday, cause, i love him dearly, you know, he’s my best friend.we don’t sit by each other on couch,he will sit in his recliner, and i will sit on my couch,so,ladies, better enjoy as you can,i can say more, but,i’m not. we even have a grand baby involved, which my boys, and my baby is my pride,now, we are going to have us two more new additions to our family,he doesn’t have much to do with our first grand baby,much less with our new comer’s. I KNOW I DO, I LOVE EM DEARLY,BUT I WOULD LOVE TO FIX MY PROBLEM WITH MY MARRIAGE,MAKE MY RELATIONSHIP STRONGER, MAYBE I NEED TO CHANGE ME-MYSELF.ALL OF ME. CAN ANYBODY GIVE ADVICE. THANKS.
My fiance and I have been in counseling and all we really have gotten out of it so far is information that we already know. So, I’m trying DIY counseling sessions at home.
-There are couples worksheets online that you can download and print. Easy to find just by searching for “couples worksheets” on Google or whatever. Sit down and do them together.
Sometimes, guys will refuse to take advice or help from their significant other because it makes them feel inferior. They don’t want to give you the benefit of the doubt anymore because they are assuming you are either wrong, or trying to trick them into believing you are right. Learning from you is like a blow to their ego. So try to use the worksheets, which will more than likely reinforce what you have been trying to tell him. He’ll be learning from someone other than you, and may trust in it more.
****Communication is so so so important. It’s the strongest glue in the relationship.
-Many fights happen because of a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding leads to hurt feelings or anger, which results in a fight. The fight is in reality, over NOTHING. and will usually derail the original topic that was brought up. If the lines of communication stay open, the message being conveyed will be the message received.
-Make sure you both are understanding exactly what the other is trying to say. Let them finish. Repeat back to the person what they have said (ie: I hear you saying that…..) This will confirm that you are hearing exactly what is being spoken.
-Don’t cut the other off mid-sentence, or mentally stop listening because you think you know what they are going to say.
These are just a few small tips I’ve learned and have being using, and they help immensely.
Good luck to all of us!!!!
But my husband told my cousin that he married me because he felt like i made him marry me
What should i do
The last part is really bad advice… Don’t go straight out attempting to make love to a guy; it’s a myth it’s what makes them tick, they are more emotional than most women realise and you could actually make things a whole lot worse, you need to appeal to his emotional side before anything else. Start out small – being intimate doesn’t mean dragging him to the bedroom. Remember intimate moments when you first met? Small, sweet things that most married couples rush into life and forget about – making him breakfast, talking about things you have in common. That failing, maybe you should both explore new things together. Most solid relationships never started out with dragging each other behind closed doors; if they did, that’s LUST not LOVE.
Hey my husband don’t kiss me only when I kiss him. Then. He kisses back, he don’t hug me or tell me he loves me only when I ask him to hold me when we sleep then he does it. We don’t heve sex offen and when we do its the same old sex we have all the time when I talk to him about how I feel and if he has lost interrest in me he doesn’t know what to say its like talking to a brick wall. We live with his perants and our 4 year old daughter his mum hates me she never liked me shealways believes I stole her son away!! She even hit me once but my husband says nothing to her its likehis scared to say something and I know his a momasboy!!!! Therese no more hitting by her side anymore but she still says harsh things that hurt me and I really feel like I want to pack up and leave but I know I have no where to go and I’m sceared they will claim cusstody over my baby girl I really can’t live without my child and I feel the only reason I still live with them it cause I don’t want to lose my child!!! And I can’t take her with me as I don’t even know where I would go and I wouldent put her in that situation ever! So I’m stuck in hell please help me as to what I can do
ask her to come with you!
My husband and I have been married almost a year, we been together in two years all together. We grew up in same town and already knew each other growing up. He is a secretly person. Not really as one would say sneaky, but you know quite about what he does. We both have a jealous bone in us, which is not always a good thing. We both have done things in past relationships that we should have not done, but who hasn’t? Well all is been a bumpy road since we got together due to all the above that you just read, UNTIL I got on the laptop.. p*rn…..well at first I was mad but I come to remember that I use to watch them every know and then. He waits till I am not home and watches them. I don’t know if he forgot to delete history that day or if he never has to since I don’t get on it but in a blue moon. Well now I get on there every chance I get cause even delete history doesn’t delete it permanently !!! I think he is doing a online chat or a online web sex site. I haven’t been able to get to that assignment due to him being here. I asked him and he said NO. He didn’t deny or even try to deny about the p*rn. But since I had to start spying he has been distance to me. He will watch four to five p*rn videos and when I call or txt he ignores them and when he does reply or call back says he was taking a nap. I know he wasn’t cause I know things on that computer to know when and what time. He thinks I am not all that smart but he is wrong. I know more than I let others know. He doesnt tell me he loves me but like once or twice a week. He hasn’t been as sexual with me as he has been and doesn’t snuggle with me as before either. I don’t know what to do or say.
I just want to know why do my baby daddy tells me that he don’t love me and he tells me that he want to find a younger girl and he always talk down on me and yells at me and hit me
My husband never loved me and the only reason was to see what it was like.
He didn’t like it and all the responsibilities. I wanted kids he hated them and put them in the catagory of dogs. This all came about on the second day of marriage, was I suprised what happened next. Now we have been together 47 years, I won’t say married because to me its not. He also hated sex, to him it was disgusting, messy, smelly not worth the time and effort , and messed with his sleep time. So he decide to move to our basement and just disappeared into his own private world. Works the midnight shift and all thee over time he’s never home his life is work. We only had sex once he never talks to me, just ignores me when in the same area. He has no interest in other women nor his he gay, I had checked that out many times.
I decided to just be me and do what I want, I work at a college library part time, I see a shrink and take anti-depresents. I’m able to stay at a friends home , she has a bedroom that she rents out for a small amount of rent. I go home maybe once a week to check mail and do some laundry. My life s*cks but I do my best with what I have. In my upper 60’s and I take care of me and don’t worry about him.
i have a gf and she was engaged with other person and also talk very much and also talk to me on fb massenger .one day her fionce read the chating on fb which including sex also and my gf alos told him everything to him
pls suggest me how she make happy to his becoming husband now he don’t talk to her
and she was crying pls tell me wht she doo