7 Common Secrets Men Hide From Women

Are you worried your man is hiding something from you? Do you get the feeling he’s not telling you everything? You’re probably right, but don’t let that worry you. Everybody has their secrets and here are the 7 most common secrets men hide from women.

Whenever a man gets to be a little distant, the first thing every woman wonders is “Is he cheating on me?” most likely, the answer to that is no. Although it might feel like you’re losing him, the truth is, your man probably has something he doesn’t want to share with you.

That’s completely normal. Men are a lot more sensitive than you think and sometimes he really doesn’t want to tell you what’s going on in his head. To put your mind at rest, though, here are the most common secrets men hide from their partner (and why you really don’t need to be worried).

#1 His Fears

One of the most common secrets a man will hide from you is that he is scared. It’s true. I’ve known men to be terrified of things but put on a brave face so nobody knows their secret weakness (spiders is the most common).

Of course, these fears aren’t limited to arachnids. Your man could very well be terrified of losing you. That’s right, his biggest unspoken fear is the fear of losing you. Sure, you might ask him what he’d do if you were gone, and he’ll say he’d move on, but those are brave words to protect his manhood.

I can tell you I’ve only seen my stepdad cry once in my life and that was when my mom was in the hospital. He never admitted it to her, either.

#2 His Fantasies

man and woman

Aside from the fear of losing you, another common thing your man will hide from you is his sexual fantasies. Let me put it this way, the things he fantasizes about are usually not the things he would consider appropriate to do with the woman he loves.

Silly, right? Still, it’s true. Men have a very high regard for the love of their life and sexually speaking, naughty things are taboo. He’s likely to forgo the whips and chains or the anal fantasy in fear you’ll look down on him or think he’s disrespecting you.

If you think this is his fear (and you can usually tell by the way he acts in the bedroom), you might want to consider taking him on a little adult shopping trip. You don’t have to talk about it, just go and let him know you have fantasies, too.

#3 He’s in Love With You

man hiding heart

Hand in hand with the fear of losing you, your man could very well fear being in love with you. My ex slipped up and told me he loved me once. Only once. Then he became a serious commitment phobe and eventually broke up with me.

Was I heartbroken? Absolutely. The thing is, there are guys who are so protective of their own feelings that your feelings really don’t matter. You might think they do, but they don’t.

There are two ways to go with this fear: You can ignore his feelings and keep things as they are, or you can be the first to say you love him. I can tell you, though, that the reaction really depends on the guy and you might not be happy with the result.

You don’t really want to end up broken hearted anyway, though, do you? Guys who are too scared to commit or to be exclusive (especially after at least six months) are usually bad news.

#4 He Needs You

Men commonly hide the fact that they need you. Your guy could very well do things on his own, but he doesn’t really feel like he can. You are his rock.

One of the things women don’t realize is the true depth of their partner’s need. It’s not just that he needs you for those little everyday things, he also needs you to be the “emotional” one so he can feel useful and comfort you. He also probably needs you to keep him in check (even Iron Man had Pepper Potts).

#5 His Self-Esteem is Delicate

One of the biggest things he could be hiding from you is that he is fragile. Now, granted, there are some men who are happy to admit they have a few self-doubts. Mot of the time, however, men are hard pressed to admit that.

The thing is, the male ego is a terribly delicate thing. They want to know they are the only man you’ve ever loved (or at least they’re the one you’ve loved the most), they want to know they are the best lover you’ve ever had, and they need to know they’re number one.

If even for a second your guy begins to doubt his abilities as a lover or as the bread winner, then his ego is going to suffer a severe bruising. He’ll never admit it to you.

#6 He’s Questioning Things

man thinking

One of the most common things a man will hide from you is that he’s questioning things. Before you get nervous, let me tell you this is completely normal. It’s normal for people to question their relationship, for the worry to be there (especially if things are getting serious).

Questions are going through his mind like “Is she the one I want to spend my life with?” or “Is there something better out there?” or even “Should I end it and wait?”

It’s all very normal. He will likely never tell you he has (or ever had) questionable feelings, but then, that’s okay. This really is one of those things he needs to work out for himself.

#7 He Still Misses Someone Else

The most common thing your man will hide from you the fact that he’s missing someone else. Nostalgia is a terrible thing, sin’t it? It makes us see things from rose colored glasses. I read somewhere that people remember the negative more than the positive, but I don’t believe that for a moment.

When it comes down to love, after some time has passed, we usually remember the positive things about our ex-partner. Don’t be alarmed by this. Once you have loved someone, they are always there in your heart. He might miss things about his ex, but there’s always a reason an ex is an EX.

One of my old boyfriends accidentally called me by his ex-girlfriend’s name when we went to the lake. Apparently, they had gone there together a few years back. He was feeling nostalgic. Was I hurt? Yeah, a little. Did I worry? No. I knew he had loved her at one time, but I also knew he loved me now. Never worry about an ex, unless he’s trying to get her back. It’s just nostalgia.

Is your man acting strangely? Did you find out something he was trying to hide from you? If so, I’d love to hear your comments!

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.


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  • Well done, I’m a guy and you hit this spot on. It’s crazy that as a guy we are in so much denial, that reading this article is pretty difficult. Remember men hate negative mirrors of them self. We don’t like facing the truth in any way. So we create these walls and barriers to keep the truth hidden.