I’ve been married twice, which means I’ve learned a lot about the qualities needed in a man who is husband material. Love really isn’t enough.
Now don’t get me wrong, love is an absolute necessity in a marriage. You have to be madly in love with your man in order to marry him (or else risk the chance of falling in love with someone else when you’re already married). Aside from love, though, what are the qualities you absolutely must have in your future husband?
The first thing a husband has to have is honesty. Not only does he have to be honest with you, but he has to be honest with himself. He needs to know who he is, what his strengths and weaknesses are, what his limitations are, and where he’s going in life.
Honesty with each other and with yourselves is the only way to keep a marriage full of open communication.
Your future husband must be reliable. Can you trust him to remember to pick you up from work? Is he going to pick the kids up from baseball practice or will he be hanging out with the guys instead? Will he do what he says he’s going to do and fix the garage door or clean the attic?
Reliability is necessary. Remember, marriage is forever and you don’t want to spend forever doing everything by yourself.
One of the most important qualities your future husband must have is kindness. As simple of a concept as this is, you wouldn’t believe how rare it is.
A man must be kind. He must be kind to you, to strangers, to the elderly, to children, and everyone and anyone in between. A man who is kind to others is a man who will be good to you. If he helps old ladies across the street and donates to charity, then he has the quality of kindness.
An absolute must in your future husband is monogamy. I’ve read numerous stories about studies that show that humans are not meant to be monogamous.
I believe that humans most certainly can be monogamous and this is one of the most important qualities your future husband must have. Nothing less is worth marrying, you have to know he’s yours and yours alone.
#5 Same Life Outlook
Because we’re talking about forever, it’s important that you and your future husband have the same outlook on life. If he has strong religious convictions and you don’t, then you need to discuss this issue. If you want twelve kids and he wants none, then perhaps you two need to make a compromise.
There are always some things you will have to compromise on, but it’s important you and your future husband at least have the same ideal on where you’d like to be in the next six years.
#6 Sexual Attraction
People always say “sex isn’t everything”. That’s not exactly true, you have to be attracted to the man you plan on waking up next to everyday for the rest of your life.
Let me tell you, I’ve had relationships where the sex was okay, but the mental stimulation was out of this world, and you know what? They didn’t last.
Sexual attraction is very important. If he doesn’t stimulate you, or make you orgasm, then you’re going to eventually be miserable with him. I’m in my mid thirties right now and one of the key qualities I must have in a potential mate is sexual attractiveness simply because I’m always in the mood (that ticking biological clock).
You will be, too, trust me.
Don’t think for a moment sex isn’t important, because it really is. Make sure your man knows how to satisfy you.
#7 Sense of Humor
One of the most important qualities to look for in your future husband is a great sense of humor. Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes you need a good laugh in order to get through the day, and any man you’re going to marry has to be able to laugh with you.
My ex was from another country and American humor was lost on him. We’d watch movies, or I’d tell a joke, and he’s look at me and say “I don’t get it.”
It was always awkward laughing by myself.
Besides, if you plan on having kids, you’re both going to need a good sense of humor.
#8 Good With Children
Speaking of having kids, you should try to find out if your future husband is good with children. If you and he plan o having at least one child, then you need to see how he acts around other kids before you marry him.
#9 Family Values
It’s not just children you and your future husband need to agree on, or that he has to be good with, your husband must have strong family values as well. He has to be caring and protective of his family, he has to respect you as his wife, and the children must listen and respect him.
Strong family values (regardless of religious beliefs) is a quality to look for in a future husband.
Finally, one of the most important qualities to look for in a future husband is respectability. If you don’t respect someone you can’t love that person. Make sure he’s hardworking, trustworthy, kind, and caring. These qualites are all necessary in a respectable man.
He also has to respect you. If your future husband has no respect for your opinions or feelings, then he is not worth your time and you should run away now…go quickly. Otherwise, if your man has all of these qualities (and more), then keep him and have long and happy life together!
Does your husband, or future husband, have any qualities that should also be on this list? Let us know!