Fighting In A Relationship: Here’s What You Need To Know

Are you always fighting with your partner? Every couple faces challenges but constant fighting can weaken your relationship. Here’s what you need to know.

Most people will tell you that fighting in a relationship is a good thing. You’re a couple in love, so, of course, you are going to fight occasionally. It means that you’re both passionate. However, it can reach a point where the fighting becomes too much.

If you’re fighting with your partner every day, it’s worth asking yourself whether this relationship is what you both want. Perhaps you moved in together too soon. Or maybe you can’t respect what the other person needs.

There’s a reason why you are constantly fighting and you need to understand how to solve it. Read on to find out how you can stop fighting and get back to enjoying the relationship.

Let the past stay in the past

Man looking at his girlfriend sadly while she is fixing her hair

If there’s any hope of overcoming your problems and moving on with your relationship, you both have to let go of the past. That doesn’t mean you should forget, it just means that you have to learn how to forgive each other and move on from it.

Talk to your partner about whatever it is that’s bothering you and make sure they are aware of how they made you feel. If they truly love you, they won’t repeat the same mistakes.

The more you bring up the past, the more likely you are to fight. When you bring up the past, the emotions attached to it will also unravel.

Your relationship has no chance of surviving if you are still living in the past. Put it behind you and live in the present instead.

Don’t go to bed angry

Going to bed angry is the worst thing you can do. Your partner may think that you don’t care enough to resolve it and as a result, they will wake up still feeling resentful about the situation.

If you get into a habit of never talking things out, nothing good will come of it. Nothing will ever be resolved and the problems you are having will only get worse as the relationship continues.

It’s always a good idea to resolve things before either of you goes to bed, even if they don’t accept an apology, at least you can say that you tried. That’s what counts.

Deal with the situation

Couple not speaking to each other in bedroom

Many couples struggle with expressing their feelings, which makes it difficult for the relationship to progress. You have to be able to feel comfortable around your partner. That includes being honest about how you are feeling.

Being stubborn or giving your partner the silent treatment shows immaturity and an inability to solve the issues in your relationship. If you want to make it work, you have to act like grown-ups and have a discussion.

Once you’ve both calmed down, sit down and talk to each other. Let them know what they have done to make you angry and think of a way you can resolve this. In most situations, the solution is simple.

There’s always a reason behind the fight, even if it seems silly. Figuring out the root isn’t always easy but if you just hear each other out, you will know what the problem is.

It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take a lot of effort from both sides, but this all depends on whether you are both willing to fix the problems in your relationship and get back on track.

Don’t put all of the blame on them

It’s not fair to put all of the blame on your partner. Chances are, you have made mistakes too. It’s hard to admit when you are in the wrong, but now isn’t the time for being stubborn, it’s about showing them that you willing to take responsibility for your part in the fight.

Forget about who is to blame in this situation. It takes two people to get in a fight. It also takes two people to own up to their mistakes and eventually make up.

Don’t wait for your partner to apologize first, otherwise, it could turn into a waiting game where neither of you ever resolves the issues in your relationship. Just take the initiative and put things right!

Understand his point of view

One of the main reasons for relationships failing is the inability to respect the other person’s opinion. You don’t always have to agree with their actions all the time, but you do have to at least see it from their point of view.

Something that means nothing to you could mean everything to them. It’s incredibly selfish to only see things from your side and that could potentially be damaging to your relationship.

Stop repeating the same argument

Young couple arguing in a cafe

Are you constantly arguing about the same thing? That’s a clear indication that neither of you is able to move on. If you don’t leave it in the past, it could signal the end of the relationship.

You can expect to have many fights about different kinds of things. For example: Not doing the dishes, spending too much time on the phone, forgetting to do something. However, if you are having the same, exact argument, it means that you never resolved it the first time. That’s a red flag.

In a healthy relationship, two people will fight but then work on resolving the problem. They will discuss their feelings like adults and prevent the fight from happening again.

In an unhealthy relationship, two people will fight but nothing gets resolved as neither of them are willing to hear what the other person is saying.

This results in them having the same fight over and over again until it breaks down the relationship. Don’t let this happen. You have to try harder at listening to your partner. This is the key to any successful relationship.

Think about what’s important

Next time you fight about something, think about whether it’s really worth losing them over. Every time you fight, there’s more risk of you driving them away. Is that really what you want?

Even though your partner has stuck around for all this time, it doesn’t mean they’re always going to be there. One day they may decide they have has enough of the constant arguing and walk away for good. It’s a shame if you consider that it could all be prevented just by a simple discussion.

Always resolve things

Making up is the best thing that occurs after a fight. You’ve both yelled at each other. You’ve got angry and perhaps said things that you shouldn’t have. But now you’ve calmed down and it’s about time you sorted things out.

Something needs to change. If you leave if there, you’re likely to repeat the same fights. You need to work on enjoying your significant other’s company, rather than taking every opportunity to argue with them. Less fighting equals to a healthier relationship.

If you want to make sure this doesn’t become a regular occurrence, end the fight on a happy note. Go and see a movie together. Have some alone time. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you both go to bed feeling happy, content, and having a positive attitude to your relationship.

About the author

Coralle Panrucker

Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger who talks about various topics from relationships, love, health and freelance writing. She's currently writing a book.

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