Want to know if your guy is in it for the long haul or just looking for a hook up? Read on for the 5 signs that tell you he’s just in it for the sex.
There are two kinds of guys: Those looking for the “real thing” and those on the lookout for just the “thing.” How do you know if the guy you’re seeing is the former or the latter?
You can just be upfront and ask him. However, this can be a terrifying situation and most guys will not admit to it, especially when confronted or caught off guard. Plus, you don’t want to come off as too strong and be misunderstood.
The signs are as bright as the daylight but you can be blinded, especially if the guy means something more to you already. Before you fall any deeper, open your eyes and look for the following signs to know that he only wants to hook up—then run as fast as you can.
Does he ask you personal questions? Does he want to get to know your friends and family? Does he know your obsession with Nutella and all things sweet? If he does not dig deeper or ask you about your personal life, then he is not interested in knowing and understanding you better. It can also be because he does not really care for you on a deeper level.
Has he ever taken you on a real date? It doesn’t have to be really grand. Just a simple coffee or movie date would be enough. Does he ever make plans in advance to surprise you with something special or does his only plan involve you coming over to his place and you going home after giving him the benefits of your friendship. If it’s the latter, then it’s time to wake up. That’s a sign that he wants to keep it casual and nothing more.
When you’re together, is his full attention on you or do you catch his eyes wandering from one girl to another? Do you see him flirting with other women, and when he notices that you are watching him, does his behavior change or does he just shrug things off? If he does not focus on you and flirts with other girls even if he knows you’re there and you can see, then that’s him telling you, “I’m not serious about us”.
Have you met any of his friends? How about his family? Has he even told you of future plans for you to meet them, or have you only seen them on Facebook? If you have never met any of the important people in his life, you should start wondering why.
If he is interested in having a serious relationship with you, he’ll make an effort to stay in constant communication with you. When he’s away, you’re the first person to know. So, if the guy you’re seeing goes MIA without telling you in advance, and you don’t hear from him until he appears again out of nowhere acting like nothing happened at all and without explaining his sudden disappearance, you should be wary.
If your meetings are never in a restaurant, a mall or a public place you can enjoy, it means that he is trying to avoid you in public. If he meets you only in his place, in his car or any private place where it’s only the two of you present, know right then that his only intention is to hook up.
Another thing is when you don’t eat together and he doesn’t let you sleep over at his place. If he asks you to go after hooking up and he doesn’t even make an effort to take you home, you have to leave him.
While not all guys will tell you straight up, and some will tell you that they’re serious but their actions say otherwise, then you have to pay attention and leave as soon as you can. Don’t let him underestimate your worth and give him a piece of your mind before you go.
No matter how much you like the guy and think he is the one you’re looking for, you should never ignore the signs. Find the strength to walk away because you deserve so much more than just being his go-to girl when he needs his sexual pleasures fulfilled.
Have you ever been with a guy who shows these signs? How did it go for you? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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