Everybody knows that pushy and obsessive women are the biggest turn off for guys. Avoid these mistakes and learn how to not look desperate to a guy you like.
When you’ve been single for ages and the guy who has everything you’re looking for in a partner comes along, you can’t help but be excited. It’s understandable and is the reaction of most women who find themselves in the same situation.
Be careful though as too much excitement can lead to you making rash decisions and doing dumb things. You don’t want to pull any of these annoying moves that will make him think that you’re desperate (and cut short your blossoming romance).
You may think that this is going to make him say, “Wow!” and he’ll compliment you for your impressive amount of patience. Sorry to burst your bubble, but his reaction to such statement from you will surely be the opposite. What do you mean exactly by, ‘this moment?’ He’ll feel unnecessary pressure, and this convo may push him away instead of drawing him close to you.
Texting him more often than necessary, using too many love emojis or calling him every minute isn’t going to make him feel loved. Instead, he’ll feel suffocated and think you’re needy and clingy. So, get a life, girl. Let him notice your absence so he’ll look forward to your presence in his life sooner than later.
You’ve added each other as friends on Facebook. Since that day, you’ve spent every hour of your waking life checking his wall to see what’s going on in his online life.
You like every status he posts and love everything that he shares (even if you don’t have an idea what they’re all about). Don’t be surprised if he unfriends you and then goes MIA on you.
You decided to surprise him by turning up on his apartment unannounced. You knocked on his door and when he opened it and found it’s you, he was clearly surprised (Congrats, you’ve accomplished your goal!) and obviously annoyed. You didn’t notice it because he still let you in. Wait for him to make up an excuse, so you’ll leave his crib asap (Ouch!).
You’ve been seeing each other for two weeks. To celebrate your second week together, you thought it would be a nice idea to share what’s in your heart online by posting those three words as your status and then tagging him in your online declaration. Your friends went into a frenzy, but instead of an “I love you, too” from him, he has deactivated his account and disappeared from your life forever.
Because you’re so convinced that he’s The One, you thought you should let him know about how you want to have a garden wedding, four babies and two dogs the next time you have your Netflix and chill session. Hold your horses, girl. These topics are meant to be discussed when you’re sure that he feels the same way about you, too.
Yes, you can give him a gift on his birthday, but not every time you feel like giving him one. Yes, you’re totally going overboard when you pick an expensive gift (even if you can afford it). It’s not romantic but rather a desperate move that will make him think you’re buying his affection (and he won’t feel good about that).
Wanting him to meet your family because you’ve been together for one month is ridiculous. Yes, it’s awesome to know that you’re proud of dating him so you want your entire clan to know, but it’s just way too early; it’s better to have him ask you instead. When he says no, it will be a huge slap in your face and that’s the last thing you want to happen.
Your man will definitely appreciate a text or two from you, but texting or calling him every waking hour of the day just to make sure that he’s okay is not going to make him think you’re being thoughtful. Instead, he’ll think either you’re being possessive or you’ve lost it.
This uncalled for attention that you’re showering on him isn’t going to help him to fall head over heels for you, so keep calm and get a life. He’s old enough to take care of himself. He’ll be okay.
Pulling any desperate move doesn’t only hurt your chances of being with the man you’re so obviously into; it will also damage you and your self-worth in the process.
Learn to control your feelings by not giving it a chance to take over your brain. You’ll find that you’re happier when you act according to what makes sense and not based on what you feel.
Are there any moves you think desperate women pull? How can you prevent yourself from coming across as desperate? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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