Should You Kiss on the First Date

Dating has, by default, several points where you’re almost certainly bound to feel uncomfortable. Getting to the first kiss is stressful, and just having to decide when is ‘’the right time’’ can drive you crazy.
Should You Kiss on the First Date

That’s why a lot of women decide beforehand that they will kiss on the first date, while others feel ready for kissing only after a few dates that don’t involve any intimacy.

Here are several insights into the question whether or not you should kiss on the first date.

Kissing is Intimacy

First of all, kissing on the mouth is considered intimacy in almost every culture. Our lips are full of nerve endings, and our brains quickly translate kissing into erotic pleasures. Scientific research on the subject has showed that it more likely to forget the moment you lost your virginity than it is to forget the moment you got your first kiss.

It is clear that all of us experience kissing as a very important and strong phenomenon. Kissing someone is an intimate moment, no matter how often or how rarely you do it in your life. Always treat it such.

Avoid First Dates that Ends with a Kiss

First Date Kiss

Most of you can decide whether or not you like a guy really fast on the first date. This means your basic feeling about him, and usually your instinct will tell you ‘’yes’’ or ‘’no’’. Listen to your inner voice, and when you made your decision about him, express it as soon as possible.

Don’t calculate it or postpone it till the ‘’right moment,’’ and don’t be afraid to tell your date that you don’t want to do anything beside that.

It’s OK if you only want to kiss. Be open about it and your body language will send him a clear message. Sometimes you will be the one that takes the initiative, so here are 5 Ways to Initiate a First Kiss. Other times, the man you’re dating will get the message and kiss you first.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Enjoy the moment.

Kissing on First Dates isn’t for You

This decision is also a valid one, and you should never have to explain yourself. Giving a long, serious explanation can be overwhelming for a man that took you out for a date.

On the other hand, it would be helpful to let your date know you feel this way. You don’t have to say it outright. Instead, you can spontaneously mention it in your conversation, for example, by noting that, even in high school, you didn’t like to kiss on your fist dates.

By doing this, you will get your position known to the man your dating, without the risk of looking too cold. After you mention it, remember to keep the atmosphere light and playful. This way, you’re subtly informing him that a kiss isn’t that far off if he is willing to wait for that second or third date.

Change Your Routine

Should You Kiss on The First Date

I can’t give you an advice whether you should kiss on the first date or not. But, I can advise to think about changing your routine. If you always kiss on the first date, next time, try to save that kiss for your second meeting. The same applies if you never kiss on the fist date.

From my practice and experience, I can tell you that exploring different patterns of behavior can teach you a lot about yourself. In this case, as an added bonus, it will also make your dating life a little bit more interesting.

Q&A about Kissing on the First Date

Let’s address some frequently asked questions about kissing on the first date.

1. Is it expected to kiss on the first date?

No, it’s not expected to kiss on the first date. Each individual has their own comfort level and boundaries when it comes to physical intimacy. Respect their decision and allow the connection to develop naturally.

2. How do I know if my date wants to be kissed?

Look for non-verbal cues such as prolonged eye contact, leaning in closer, or gentle touches. However, keep in mind that not all signs are definitive, and it’s best to communicate openly and directly to ensure mutual consent.

3. Should I ask for permission before kissing?

While some appreciate the directness and respectfulness of asking for permission, others believe it can disrupt the romantic flow. Read the situation and your date’s cues to determine the best approach.

4. What if I don’t feel ready to kiss on the first date?

It’s perfectly okay not to feel ready for a first-date kiss. Focus on building a connection and let the physical aspect unfold naturally in due time.

5. Can a first-date kiss ruin the chances of a second date?

While a first-date kiss can be a make-or-break moment, it doesn’t necessarily determine the outcome of a second date. The overall connection and compatibility between both individuals play a significant role.

6. How can I recover if the first-date kiss goes wrong?

If a first-date kiss doesn’t go as planned, don’t panic. Stay calm, acknowledge any discomfort, and continue the date with a positive attitude. How you handle the situation can demonstrate maturity and resilience.

About the author


I am a psychologist, author and a journalist, currently in training for a Gestalt therapy degree. I am mostly interested in emotional relationships and the process of change in people endlessly fascinates me. When I’m not working, I enjoy movies, novels, travel and snowboarding.

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