He ignores me! Now what? Why is your guy suddenly ghosting you? Read on and find out all the reasons this might be happening.
There usually is a reason when a guy suddenly starts ignoring you. Will you always get to know the reason? Nope.
Do you need to know the reason?
A guy is ghosting you. He went from texting you and seeing you all the time to disappearing into thin air. Or, you had one or two great dates and then nothing.
You feel confused and angry. Why is he doing this? Can’t he just tell you so you know where you stand? And if he’s truly gone forever, can’t he give you some sort of closure?
The short answer is no, he won’t always volunteer to tell you what’s going on. You have to learn to make peace with that and focus on your own life.
You think people owe you things, like explanations, but the truth is you owe yourself something as well and that’s putting yourself first. Focusing on how angry and disappointed you are is only going to make things worse.
Psychoanalyzing possible scenarios to explain why this happened isn’t going to make things better either. You need to think it through, analyze things from your perspective and come to terms with them, then move on. Focus on creating a life you love.
Don’t make assumptions
While it’s possible to give some reasons for why he might have gone MIA, remember that things aren’t always as they seem. Last year, I was furious as a friend of mine had disappeared after I appointed him COO of my business.
I’d known this guy for around five years. Him letting me down seemed completely insane. While I realized my business was not going to be his main focus and he probably wouldn’t be a fit for the position in the long run, doing a disappearing act seemed very strange indeed.
I was seriously confused and, as I wasn’t in town, I couldn’t knock on his door either.
So what had happened?
He’d been called on military service. No communication allowed and clearly he didn’t get around to emailing me before he left.
A little while ago, I met a guy whom I liked who seemed to really like me. When we were together, it just seemed to flow. Only, he also seemed to disappear between meetings.
I thought that I was just some opportunity for something he didn’t have time or desire to explore. I wrote him off as a womanizer. Then I found out through mutual friends that the guy was so busy he wasn’t sleeping and literally had no time whatsoever to see me, even if he wanted to do so.
These were two unique circumstances. Not everyone is an army veteran or jet setting businessman, but just know that things can and will happen at times.
The important thing is still to move on with your life. At the end of the day, you can’t date a man who isn’t there regardless of the reason for his absence.
He might come back, but don’t wait for it. Focus on your life.
Bottom line: don’t make assumptions and don’t wait; move on with your life. If he should come back with a decent excuse, fair enough, but by then you might have found someone you like even better, even if it sounds unlikely right now.
As the saying goes: when one door closes, another one opens. Go through that door.
He’s not that into you
Some men think that it’s better you end up hating them, as opposed to getting attached to them, so they figure if they just disappear, you will lose respect for them and move on.
They have this “noble” idea that they mustn’t tell a woman that they don’t like them enough to end up in a relationship with them.
It may also be that he simply doesn’t have the guts to tell you that he’s not that into you. Some men are cowards.
Is it because the sex was bad, you were too clingy, you talk too loudly…does it matter? You need to find your match. Think about how you acted around this guy, and if you are happy with your actions, then it’s fine.
If you aren’t happy with them, make some changes for the next guy. Aim to find someone who’s a match, because that’s really all there’s is too it.
He found someone else
Some men make a mistake, sleep with someone else or are otherwise unfaithful, feel they don’t deserve you and back off. Others fall for someone else, want to be with them and are either too scared of hurting your feelings by telling you or too cowardly to do so.
Maybe you were never exclusive as you never had the talk, and he failed to tell you that he was seeing others. Now, he doesn’t feel like enlightening you as he feels a bit ashamed about it.
He’s going through something
Men don’t always deal with emotions well, and they don’t always like showing women that they aren’t coping well. Sometimes, it’s also about his perception of how well he’s doing in life: a man whose private finances have just crashed or one who has just lost his job sometimes simply can’t face the woman he cares about without feeling like a loser.
It may seem strange, as it wasn’t his bank account or his job you fell for, but he might have invested his whole ego in it. It’s not easy to show up feeling like half the man you did yesterday.
Similarly, when something difficult happens—like his kid going through problems, his mother dying, or something similar—he might also withdraw. He might not want you to see him like that, or he might not know how to share his emotions with you.
Worst case scenario, the guy is sick or has drug problems, and he wants to protect you by shutting you out.
He may be upset with you
It’s possible that something you said or did upset him, and he’s choosing to ignore you instead of addressing the issue directly.
It’s getting serious
Some men are happy living the single life. They feel they haven’t done everything they were meant to do while single, so they panic as soon as things start getting a bit too close to serious commitment.
Men who haven’t had a chance to play the field, travel the world and go on weekend trips to Vegas with the boys sometimes freak out when things get serious because they feel they need to live a little first.
And, honestly, it’s better that it happens then rather than as a mid-life crisis. After all, if a man isn’t happy with his life, he will never be happy with you.
If he thinks that you are the love of his life, chances are that he will stay, but even then timing can play part of it as he might not feel like that unless he first feels that he knows what he wants.
If men feel like they haven’t lived, they won’t feel like they know what they want.
There are certain reasons more common than others why a guy goes MIA. The most important thing is that you look back on the relationship, decide what you were happy with and what you weren’t and focus on moving forward being the person you want to be in a relationship.
Focus on yourself
It’s important to remember that whatever the reason, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If you’re feeling hurt or confused by his behavior, consider talking to him about it or giving yourself some space to focus on your own well-being.
If something really crazy happened, then he will come back and explain it at some point, but why wait for him? You have a life to live and you might be surprised about what great things are about to happen. If only you knew….