First dates are sometimes exciting but they’re mostly nerve-racking. But, they don’t have to be like that at all! Here’s what to talk about on a first date.
First dates are pretty much the most nerve-racking thing out there. You swear you’re going to be in a good mood… and a super chatty one at that.
You’re going to look great, be funny, show off your amazing personality, and totally win him over. Then you get to the restaurant, your nerves kick in, and it’s like you have no clue what to even say.
Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. But things can change. If you get tongue-tied on first dates and have no idea what to talk about, read on. Here’s what to talk about on a first date!
Jobs are a pretty popular first date conversation topic… and for good reason. After all, you spend Monday to Friday at your office, and that means that what you do for a living is a pretty big part of your life.
You talk about your job with your family and friends, so you definitely will talk about them with your date… and your boyfriend, if he becomes that for you.
You definitely need to talk about your job on a first date because you want to see if this guy supports what you do. If he’s rude or insulting, then you know for sure that you never want to see him again.
If he’s interested and wants to hear more, then you know that he a.) likes you and b.) is a decent person. That’s pretty important to find out.
If you love your career – and you most likely do – then you definitely need to talk about it with your date because it’s a huge part of you. It means a lot to you and it’s just a really big deal.
You also want to talk about your job since you want to ask the guy questions about his own position. It’s a really good way to figure out if he’s the right kind of person for you. If career stuff is important to you and he hates his job or has no work ethic, then now you know. If he’s also really into what he does for a living, then that’s going to be super attractive to you.
It may sound cheesy to talk about what you want out of life and your career on a first date… and that’s pretty much exactly why you should talk about it. Your dreams are important to you and they are what motivate and inspire you on a daily basis to get to work.
If you have goals that you are going after every day, then you definitely need to have a supportive boyfriend. So you want to know as soon as possible if this guy is going to think that you’re super cool or if he’s just not into it.
You also want to talk about this topic because if you start sharing your dreams, it opens up the conversation for your date to share his own dreams as well.
If he’s not a super motivated guy or doesn’t seem to have much of a work ethic, then he might not have much to say on this subject… and then you can be sure that you don’t want to go on a second date with him.
Your friendships are just as important to you as your career, so, of course, you should talk about them. You want to see how this guy responds when you tell funny stories about your best friend, when you talk about what you usually do when you hang out, and when you just reference them in normal conversation.
You will also be able to ask this guy about his friends, and who a guy chooses to spend his time with is very telling. Are they super immature? Do they still act like they’re in a frat or back in college? Do they get drunk all the time?
You’re going to find all this out and it’s going to help you decide if you want to go out with him again.
If you want kids, then you probably are used to talking about your family with your first dates. You want to mention your adorable cousin or niece and see how he reacts.
If he’s totally freaked out, then you can be sure that he doesn’t want to raise a family of his own and he’s probably not the right guy for you. If he thinks it’s as adorable as you do, well, then that’s another story.
It’s a good idea to share your family background as soon as possible, so a first date seems like the most appropriate time. You want this guy to know if you’re close with your parents, if you see them on a regular basis, if they’re supportive of your career and your life, etc.
You also want to know that stuff about him, right? It’s not like you want to leave the bar or restaurant without having any idea if he’s an only child or where he’s even from.
More than just chatting about your family structure, you also want to talk about family stories. That means your funniest and even most embarrassing tales.
This will go one of two ways: it can be a bonding experience with your date, or it can be a bit awkward and prove that you’re clearly not meant for each other.
Family stories can be pretty hilarious, and if he doesn’t laugh about the time when your little sister stole your fave outfit or when you burned all the Thanksgiving pies, you can be sure that he seems like a real stick in the mud.
If he can share his own family stories, then that will help you really get to know him, since where you come from is a really big part of who you are. That’s a pretty important thing for you to find out.
You have your fave TV show (and your secret fave TV show – you know, the guilty pleasure that you don’t normally talk about). You have your fave movie (or ten – it can be hard to choose). You have your fave singers and bands, food, vacation spots, books. These are what make you, well, you, and they are what make you super charming and endearing.
You can definitely mention some of your favorite things on your next first date, and it’s going to be a really good idea. This will help you see if this guy is rude or a really nice guy.
If he’s a decent person, then he’s going to be super supportive of whatever you say your fave stuff is. He won’t be a jerk about it.
You also want to talk about this stuff since it means that he can share what he loves as well, and that’s a good way to get to know him.
Maybe you live a super healthy lifestyle and you’re all about yoga, running, cooking healthful meals and all that jazz. Or maybe you’re a professional binge-watcher who would rather do anything but work out.
Maybe you’re really into the idea of a work-life balance or you do love to work evenings and weekends.
These are all lifestyle choices and they make you who you are. If you can talk about your schedule and how you live your life on a first date, then you’re giving this guy the best chance to find out who you truly are.
You’re also giving yourself the best chance to know him, too, and that’s really what this entire thing is all about.
Okay, so you know the first date rules. You know that you’re not supposed to talk about your past relationships, past first dates, what you want out of a relationship, whether you want to get married or have kids, or just generally anything related to your romantic future.
The thing is that if you hit it off with this guy, you’re going to end up talking about this stuff anyway.
Sure, you might talk about it a bit later… but why not seize the moment and talk about these subjects now? You’re going to stop yourself from wasting any time since you will truly know if he’s worth getting to know better.
It can be tricky to figure out what to talk about on a first date, but if you talk about these 8 topics, then you’re going to be in a better position.
What do you usually talk about on a first date? Do you agree with our list? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.
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