This study, originally published in The Journal of Abnormal Psychology, is groundbreaking. For so long, women have been obsessed with their image in the mirror and wanted to have a smaller waist and thighs and a thin face.
However, these findings say that women have a huge misconception about what men actually like. Men like women who are natural and have a womanly figure. So, stop obsessing about your weight and start eating again ladies!
Bye-bye crash diets
Think about it, where have all these messages about what we are supposed to look like come from? Advertisements!
Companies make a ton of cash by making us women insecure. Look at the ads: the girls are practically starving. If they create an unrealistic ideal that we can never reach, we will spend money emotionally on diet pills, appetite suppressants, magic diet books and tummy tucks, hoping to one day attract Mr. Right.
All these gimmicks can now be a thing of the past because we have figured them out. Men don’t like insecure women; they like women who love their bodies. We are learning, ladies, and luckily, we already have the body we need to attract men!
Learn to love your body
There are three main body types, and we usually have one dominant type; there’s the tall thin bird type, the muscular type and the curvy, womanly type. Men just love women who are confident, so figure out what your body type is naturally, make sure you’re doing what you need to do to be healthy and forget about the rest.
Tell yourself every day, “I am beautiful and I love my body.” If there is a certain part of your body you’ve always wanted to change, place your hands on that part of your body and say, “I love my (whatever it is).”
As women, we are recovering from a male-dominated society, and most of that recovery is in our minds. We must realize that men like real women—not women who are chopping their body parts, starving themselves and shoving themselves into clothes trying to look like something they are not.
Men are self-conscious, too
This same study found that men also have a misconception about the bodies that women are attracted to in men. In men’s minds, they need to be big and muscular, but many women like skinny guys and are much more attracted to their personality and heart than their six-pack.
Magazines promoting only one body type have done a huge disservice to society, and we need to support each other in the process of getting our self-esteem back.
Encourage other women to speak kindly about themselves
You can help other women who struggle with low self-esteem by not letting them call themselves fat. Tell them how much guys like their thighs, and look at this incredible video about how the ‘ideal’ body type has changed over time.
Women are naturally beautiful. You don’t look at a tree, and say how ugly it is. Nature makes everything unique. Think about how twisted and gnarled a tree is and how this makes it even more interesting to look at.
We need to redefine beauty in our minds, and heal our own perception of attraction so we can get on with our lives and be the incredible leaders we know we are capable of being.
Low self-esteem is deeply ingrained in our subconscious
Often, we are so used to thinking negatively about our bodies that we don’t even realize we are doing it. We say bad things about ourselves all the time, and we think them even more. Don’t allow yourself to do that anymore because it’s just not true.
Remember, you have been brainwashed to think you’re ugly, so you will spend money on beauty products and services, but everyone around you has also been brainwashed, so we are in one big dream together.
Guys will like you without makeup, without weighing 100 pounds and without looking like the stick figures on the cover of magazines.
Curves are trending
Remember how Ashley Graham made it to the cover of Sports Illustrated recently? This is a sign that women are waking up, and we can no longer be controlled by corporate companies marketing lies to us. We are ready to take the power back and be sexy again!
Even Megan Trainor is helping girls realize that we need to wake up with her empowering song lyrics about airbrushed photos and loving her body. Her songs are making it to the top of the charts because people agree with her. Missy Elliot is another example of a woman who knows she’s attractive naturally.
Don’t put up with condescending comments
Now I have to get real with you. We have the ability to demand respect. If a man tries to tell you to lose weight or that you’re getting fat, he can take a hike—permanently.
If he compares you to other women, stares at other women in public or makes any stupid comments about your body and looks that make you feel bad about yourself, you don’t have yourself a real man. He’s not worth your time.
We have to start speaking up for ourselves. We have to have a voice when men objectify women. Women do it, too, and we have to tell them to stop. We can communicate in a non-aggressive yet assertive and authoritative way. We have to say what is not right, but don’t be angry and don’t be mean.
We can steer the direction of our culture by choosing to buy from companies that promote real women and not emaciated models. We can speak up about these issues on social media, and share our own journey about our dysmorphia with our friends.
Dysmorphia is a buzzword people are using to help women recognize how they think that their bodies are ugly when they’re not. So, start the conversations with your family and friends and support each other in the process. This can change a lot for you! Imagine being more confident in your work and relationships—you deserve this!
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