A mother is an ocean of unconditional love and we all need to respect that. She brought us into this world, gave us a life, taught us to talk, walk and behave. She molded our personality into what we are today.
Mothers play a very significant role in our lives. They can be bossy, over-protective, extra friendly and sometimes even interfering. But, regardless of all that, they love us and accept us for what we are and shower us with love and care like no other.
It is not so difficult to change a relationship that has gone bitter. So what does it take to really establish that loving and caring relationship with your mother?
1. Talk, talk and talk more
Communication is the key to relationships. We all interact on a day to day basis but how many times do we really spare time to sit down and listen to our loved ones? Listening is more important than speaking. When your mother knows that you love to listen to her, she will talk more and the more she will talk, the more you both will get close to each others.
Inter-personal communication is crucial to be able to understand your mother’s thoughts, beliefs and ideas. Unless you talk, you will never know what goes on in her mind. And when you know what goes on in her mind, it is so much more to easier to understand her and reason with her behavior.
Communication can bring about two things, either it can build or it can break. Talking heart to hear with one other will help bridge gaps that have build up over time in your relationship. When you will be communicating with the right attitude, you will come to realize so many things that you had never known about your mother.
So when was the last time you shared your dreams and ambitions with your mother over a hot cup of coffee? If you don’t recall, its time you take some initiative.
2. Be friends, but know where to draw the line
Building a strong friendship with your mother is a great way to bond. But let’s get it straight, treating your mother as if she is your friend might not be the brightest idea you have to establish a healthy and positive relationship with your mother.
We have to accept it; a mother will always be a mother. She will always be concerned about the food you eat and the people you meet, no matter how old you get. That is the obvious nature of a mother and we need to accept it that way.
Never tell you mom to stop worrying about you because she can’t. You are her child and she will always take care of you, even though you think you are grown up enough to look after yourself.
Sharing gossip to a certain level is healthy but you should always know where to draw the line. You cannot tell everything to your mom that you would tell to your best friend. Some truths about your personal life may not go down too well with your mother and could become an obvious cause of discomfort between you both.
Also, you don’t want to tell you mom about the weirdest things you did in college or you’re dating adventures. Again, that depends on whether your mother is an open-minded woman or very conservative. Be prepared to face the reactions you might get when you share something highly intimate.
Having your mother as a friend is a wonderful thing and it might bring you both lots of happiness. Also, there will be times when she will act over protective and possessive but you have got to learn how to handle such situations with care, without hurting your mother’s intentions.
3. Respect and appreciate each other
We all need a little appreciation and little bit of respect. Women especially need to feel important. Relationships begin to flourish when we make people feel important. Like wise, it is important that you make your mother understand that she is an important part of your life and you can give her time when she needs you around.
Every mother strives hard to give a perfect life to her children. You probably don’t even know the dreams and desires she sacrificed just to be able to provide you with what you need.
All parents do it for their children but then that doesn’t mean their efforts should be taken for granted. Everyone loves a little appreciation. Saying thank you is a very important gesture in every relationship.
Have you every thanked your mother for everything that she has done for you? If not, do it! The attitude of gratitude will take your relationship to a different level altogether.
Having respect for your parents will go a long way into strengthening your bond with them. No back answering, no rude behavior and no criticizing! And who likes to hear such things from their children after all these years of showering them with love and care? So walk a mile in her shoes, understand her feelings and change your behavior if you think it might hurt your mother.
4. Do things together
Taking part in activities together really does a lot for a relationship, especially, relationships that have become unromantic over time. There are a lot of things you and your mom can do together to bond well.
Invest your time for her. It is a great feeling for parents when their grownup children spare time to bond with time in between their oh-so-busy lives. When you will spend time with your mother, you will make her realize that she is important for you.
Research studies have proven that people who do activities together tend to form a very happy and healthy bond. So get out, and makes some plans.
Watch a movie together, or bake a cake together for a special occasion. Doing things that make you both happy will get you closer to each other, on an emotional level. The simple joys of life are hidden in a smallest of things.
Book a day at the spa, plan a picnic just for the two of you or simply splurge on yourselves and go shopping. Research suggests that women bond best over shopping, so do it!
5. Remember: Love is a verb
Saying ‘I love you’ to your mother will make her feel great, but showing it through your behavior is even better. Love should reflect in your behavior, your way of talking and your way of treating them. Many times we say ‘I love you’, but hurt the other person by our own actions. That is not love. Love is beyond feelings, it is reflected in action.
Cooking a surprise meal for your mother, taking a leave from work just to be with her when she is sick, or running errands for her during weekends are some of the simplest gestures that show how much you love her. You don’t have to do anything fancy or spend a lot of money.
A relationship that is based on zero self-fish motives is the healthiest of all. Never give anything and expect something else in return. Don’t try to be kind and nice to her when you need something. And when you get what you want, you just flee. She is your mom, she will make out that you just use her for your own benefit and this might even worsen your relationship. So be careful, don’t expect. Just keep giving.
Taking her out for a walk, or buying flowers for her randomly and other such acts of love will make your mother firmly believe that you love her. Giving is very important, if you don’t give, she will never feel loved. It doesn’t have to be gifts or money all the time. Give your time!
If you mother is new to all this, it will certainly take her a while to be able to reciprocate the same feelings and behavior towards you. But give it some time. Things will unfold in front of you just the way you expected and you will be amazed to watch your relationship with your mom grow and become stronger than ever before.
Following these tips closely will help you establish a good relationship with your mother. You also need to remember that you are building this relationship out of love and not to reap benefits out of it. Any relationship that is based on selfish motives can never bring happiness and fulfillment. And a relationship which is born out of love and care will never go wrong and always take you ahead in life.
All you need is a little time, a little patience and lots of love!