1. Try to Understand
Do you remember how you felt while you were pregnant? You didn’t make a lot good decisions, did you? And back then, you were completely ok with telling that it was hormones talking. Well, guess what – your teenager’s hormones are completely out of order as well.
The body of a teenage boy or girl is basically a hormone bundle on two legs. You can’t expect anything like that to be very sane. Your teenager will probably do and say some stuff you won’t like at all. Remember that those days will not last forever, and do your best to understand the decisions your teenager is making.
2. Remember Your Teenage Days
Go to the bathroom and take a good look at yourself in a mirror. Now, don’t be a liar and honestly remember how much trouble you gave your own parents when you were a teenager. No, you were not perfect, no matter how much you would like to think that. None of us were. And all of us were pretty much a nightmare during our teenage days. Don’t be surprised to recognize many of your own decisions and actions in your kid – blood is thicker than water.
3. Educate Yourself
If you really want to understand your teenager you need to catch up on some homework. It’s not all the same as it was when you were a kid. The times are changing and the teens are changing as well.
Although many parents don’t want to accept that, kids grow up a lot faster these days. Your child could enter puberty as early as 8 years old. You need to be prepared for this. Talk to other moms, surf the internet or even take a class. Remember that you are not a bad parent if you’re asking for help. On the contrary, you are a parent that cares enough to ask for help.
4. Calm Down
Pretty much anything your teenager has done, seems to you a lot worse than it actually is. So what if your daughter has pierced her belly button or your son has dyed his hair green? It’s not the end of the world. So stop panicking and calm down a bit!
Instead of completely losing it, and start yelling at your kid about something they have done, try talking to them. Explain to your daughter that piercings carry a risk of infections, especially if they are done in parlors where an underage girl doesn’t need consent from her parents to have a piercing done. Explain to your son, that green hair is not really the best way to make him different from other kids. He could be a great musician instead.
5. Take Precautions
One of the biggest worries of a teenage parent is that their child will soon start having sex. It’s not a pleasant thing to think about, but it is inevitable. After all, all healthy teenagers have sex – you had it too, remember?
Gather the strength to talk to your kid about sex. Let them know that they can talk to you about it. No matter how much you would like it – you can’t expect the school to teach your kid about this.
Make sure you explain to your teenager that they need to think about unplanned pregnancy as well as about STDs. Take your daughter to a gynecologist and have birth control prescribed to her. Remember, no matter how harmful you think birth control pills are – an abortion is way more harmful.
Make her understand that she still needs to use condoms if she wants to have sex, because they are the only contraception that protects from STDs. Get this into your son’s head as well.
6. Respect Their Privacy and Independence
You need to understand that your teenager is not your little boy or girl any more. Teenagers want to be independent and most of them would like to make a certain distance between them and their parents. The least painful way is to simply accept this. It’s a normal and healthy part of growing up and it shouldn’t be any other way.
Respect your child’s privacy. They might not want to talk to you about everything anymore. Don’t push them – just let them know that they still can talk to you about anything. Don’t barge into their rooms, don’t search their bags and do not under any circumstances read their diaries. You need to do your best to establish a relationship of trust between you and your kid. If you want them to trust you, you need to be able to trust them as well.
7. Let Them Make Mistakes
All parents would love to protect their kids from making mistakes, but honestly – this is not possible. Your child is bound to make mistakes, and you need to let them make some of them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should just let your teenager run around without a clue about life, but it also doesn’t mean that you can monitor their every move. Do your job – warn your teenager about everything you think is important and offer advice. After all, your child needs to grow up and become an independent person. No one can do that with their mother hovering above their head every second.
In conclusion, you simply really need to calm down a bit. You’re not the first or the last parent to go through that. Just try to understand your teenager. Follow these tips and it all just might get a bit easier.
Feel free to share your own tips in the comments, moms around the country need all the help they can get.
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