7 Ways to Feel More Comfortable in Your Own Skin

I know it’s not always easy to be comfortable with who you are. I’ve struggled my whole life with that feeling. From being teased in grade school for being a redhead to currently being frowned upon by my married peers for being divorced and looking too young to have a teenage kid, let me tell you it can be painful.

However, I’ve learned how to not only cope with who I am, but to also enjoy who I am! Here are 7 of my favorite ways (tried and true) to feel more comfortable in your own skin (physically and mentally).

#1: Run around nude

Let’s talk about the physical side for a moment. I’m actually what my doctor says is overweight. This would have bothered me two years ago, but now it doesn’t, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot shed those extra thirty pounds. To be honest, I no longer want to.

When I’m home alone I walk around nude and imagine myself as a model for a Renaissance painter. Have you ever seen those women? They were not a size zero. They had cellulite. they had smallish breasts and wide hips. They were me.

Step one of getting comfortable in your own skin is to enjoy your own skin. If you are slender and tall, marvel in that! Enjoy your long envied legs and slender hips that never have to worry about not finding a pair of jeans to fit. If you’re round like me, well, enjoy being a Renaissance work of art.

#2: Touch yourself

Physically touching yourself in a sensual manner will make you appreciate your body. I’m not just talking about masturbation, I’m talking about actually loving your body. When you get out of the shower, look at yourself in the mirror and caress your arms and legs. Run the back of your fingers against your hips and breasts and waist. Enjoy the silky smooth feel of your skin.

Close your eyes and imagine your hands are those of a lover. Caress yourself the way you would want someone else to touch you. Take it as far as you want to go. I can tell you very few things make me feel sexier than this after shower ritual, and when you feel sexy you are sexy.

#3: Put up pictures of women your size

Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Lauren, almost every opera singer… these women are curvy and beautiful. Twiggy, Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie… these women are slender and beautiful. Lady Gaga… short and beautiful.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Surround yourself by beautiful women your size and you’ll soon realize you are just as beautiful as they are.

#4: Be yourself

This is the most challenging of all the ways to feel comfortable in your own skin. Being yourself sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Do you ever want to just scream and say “I don’t know who I am!”? If so then you’re not alone. I do it all the time. As a single mom I usually just equate myself to “mom”. I’m realizing I’m about to be an empty nester and that means I have to figure out who I really am.

This is a trial and error thing. If you don’t like opera, don’t pretend to. I love opera. I don’t like horror films. I love girly mystery novels. I don’t like Philosophy. My friends…all studied Philosophy. They accept I have no interest in Nietzsche. Find out who you are and be yourself. You’ll feel better.

#5: Do things alone

Do you ever want to go out and have fun, but realize you have nobody to go with? Yep, I’ve been there, too. In fact, I’m there more often than not. While I am usually an advocate of sitting at home in my jammies with a pint of Chunky Monkey watching the Hallmark channel, I have to say this method is not only not getting me any dates, it’s also hurting my self-esteem.

Sometimes, in order to feel comfortable in your own skin, you have to fly solo. This is also a very good idea if you have a lot of friends who tend to steal the spotlight. Going alone means YOU get the spotlight.

#6: Get a life outside of work and kids

Get out of the house. Say yes to every invite! Go to a coffee shop, a restaurant/bar, or anyplace where there are other people your own age and get a life. I turn thirty six this year and I have no intention of spending my empty nest days alone in my apartment crying over old photos. I’m going to go and experience things, even if it’s just downtown. You should, too.

Besides, if you have a horrible evening, at least you’ll have another thing to add to your list of likes and don’t likes.

#7: Put on make-up

I don’t know why this is such a hard thing for us to do, ladies. I know we think to ourselves “I don’t have anyone to impress, why should I out on make-up?” The truth is, you do have someone to impress. You. In order to feel comfortable in your own skin, you have to love who you are and how you look. Being confident on the outside is one of the quickest ways to being confident on the inside. Besides, lipstick is fun.

Being comfortable in your own skin won’t happen overnight. This will take a while. You will have ups and downs and days where you want to stay in bed and cry. That’s okay. When you have those days, just realize why you’re crying and then tomorrow you can get up and do something about it. Love who you are. There really is only one you.