Life

Breaking Up With A friend: How To Move On

Breaking up with a friend can be difficult, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to move on. Here’s how to go through it without getting your heart broken.

Breakups are never going to be easy, but breaking up with a friend is an even harder thing to do. When someone has been in your life for years, it’s difficult to imagine them suddenly not being there anymore.

You’ve become so used to them being around that you expect them to be your friend forever, but the truth is that not all friendships are going to last.

Just like romantic relationships, sometimes you find that you and your friend aren’t a good fit, and it’s better to walk away. However, breaking up with a friend doesn’t have to be a painful experience, it can teach you some valuable lessons about life.

Accept that people change

two sad girl friends

People change and sometimes we fail to notice. We are so engrossed in our own lives that we don’t stop and realize what’s happening right in front of our eyes.

In truth, you’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’ve probably changed a lot over the past 6 months but you haven’t noticed. A new job, a new relationship, starting a family – they are all things that change a person.

We all adapt to various situations and have to learn from past experiences, which inevitably shapes us into the people we are today. Maybe you and your friend just don’t share the same interests anymore.

At the beginning of the friendship you had a lot in common, but now it seems like you are heading in different directions. That’s not a bad thing – it’s just part of life.

Put yourself first

If being friends with someone is making you stressed or miserable, then it’s time for you to walk away for good. There’s nothing more important than your mental health. If they still care about you, they will understand how you feel.

You shouldn’t be hard on yourself either. There’s always a reason for a breakup, and maybe leaving the friendship is the start of you finding happiness.

It’s going to be hard to move on at first but you will realize that it’s the best decision you ever made. It may not seem like it, but letting go of that one friend can lead you to better things.

Know that not all friendships last

When your friend promised that you would be friends forever, you probably believed them. You had no reason to think otherwise. But somewhere along the line things changed and you realized that your friendship wasn’t as strong as it used to be.

Friends can suddenly feel themselves drifting apart for no reason at all. It doesn’t mean that you don’t still care about each other, it’s just that circumstances change, and you’ll know when it’s the right time to call it quits.

Not every friend will stay in your life and you shouldn’t expect them to. You may want to hold on to the friendship and the good memories you had together, but letting go is the only way you can be happy.

Trying to hold on to someone who isn’t meant to be in your life is only going to hurt you both. You just have to accept that things are changing and it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault. Appreciate the memories, but don’t stop them from moving on.

Find new friends

friends having coffee

Tring to make new friends so soon after breaking up with a close friend may seem hard, but it’s the right thing to do. There will always be people who you can talk to. Chances are, they know how it feels to lose a friend.

Instead of bottling up these feelings, go out and talk to people. They will probably appreciate the company and there’s a good chance you will make a new friend.

The friends you make now will make you happier than your previous friend, because you won’t be worrying all the time about trying to keep the friendship alive.

It will be a healthier, stronger friendship based on having the same interests and similar personalities. It’s never a bad time to start making friends.

Write your feelings down

Writing things down and accepting our feelings can help in the aftermath of a breakup. You don’t have to pretend that you’re coping when you’re not.

It’s important that if you aren’t opening up to other people, to at least be honest with yourself and how you are feeling. It’s not good to bottle things up and sometimes this only makes us bitter and resentful.

It’s a way of putting things into perspective and it allows us to truly move on. You’ll soon realize just how happier you feel.

Be grateful that it happened

Breaking up with a friend doesn’t mean that you can’t appreciate the good times you had together. People may expect you to let go of these memories now you’re no longer friends, but you should be thankful for the friendship and what it brought to your life.

Friendships don’t just happen overnight; there’s a bond that grows more each day and ultimately you will share so much with that person.

Sure, you have to let go of them to move on with your life, but you can still think about the time you spend together. You have still laugh or cry at the memories.

You can still wish the best for them. The truth is that there was a reason that person was a part of your life for so long. You needed them and they needed you.

The bond we form with others is what makes life so special. People will enter and exit your life, but you can still cherish every friendship. By accepting it for what it is, it becomes easier to move on.

It will be okay

two sad girlfriends

Deep down you know that it was time to let go of the friendship. There are many warning signs leading up to a breakup that we sometimes choose to ignore.

It’s normal to be scared. You will feel lonely at first and probably start regretting breaking up with that friend, but that feeling will pass. This breakup will allow you to spend time alone and enjoy doing activities that you couldn’t do with your friend.

There’s a new sense of freedom. You were brave enough to end an unhappy friendship, so from here things will only get better. It will teach you a lot about the person you are and the person who you want to be. And you can find comfort in that fact that you’re both going to be fine.

Be your own friend

No matter what, we all need a friend. If you don’t have any, then it’s simple, be your own best friend. There’s no one who knows you better than you.

After breaking up with a friend, you will need someone to pick you back up and help you to be happy again. It’s not a good idea to rely on other people for your happiness, because you can’t predict if or when they will leave you. But you can always rely on yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up over the demise of your friendship. Every friend adds something to our life and some even teach us things about ourselves. They shape us into the people we are, which is why you should always appreciate your friend and what they brought to your life.

About the author

Coralle Panrucker

Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger who talks about various topics from relationships, love, health and freelance writing. She's currently writing a book.

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