How to Change Your Life Without Changing Your Life

You ever wish you could step out of the life you have right now into a fresh, new life and kind of start over? But, does the idea of making drastic changes scare you so much that you stay right where you are?

Sometimes we choose safety and security, even if we’re bored with it, because it is a known thing to us. We may not be overly thrilled with our jobs, but we know that every Friday we’ll have a deposit in our bank account that will cover our bills. We may no longer feel a thrill in our relationship, but it’s better than going out and trying to start a new life on our own.

Change is scary. Sure, it has the promise of many great and wonderful things, but it also has the risk that things will get worse than they are right now.

As the old saying goes, you don’t always know what you’ve got until it’s gone. So, what happens if you let your old life go and end up wishing you hadn’t made such a drastic move?

If you want the best of both worlds then, ideally, you would be able to change your life without actually changing your life. Does that make sense?

More importantly, is it possible?

The answer is yes, it is possible. You can change your life dramatically without risking more than you’re willing to risk. How?


Beautiful young woman against city view

If it’s a new career you’re after, you don’t have to quit your job to explore new options. If there’s something you’re interested in doing, just do it on the side. That will give you the opportunity to see if you like it enough to do it full time. And, it will also allow you to gain some experience without suffering the financial hurt of not having any income until you get better at it whatever it is you want to do.

Let’s say you want to switch careers and work in the accounting field. Maybe at tax time, when most accountants are extremely busy, you could work part time for one and see how it goes.

And, if you can’t find one that wants to hire part time, you may even want to consider volunteering your time. You won’t get paid, but you’ll gain knowledge and experience that will help you decide if it’s the right field for you. It will also show a potential future employer that you’re willing to do what it takes to make your dream a success.

If it’s your own business that you want to start, again, you can just do it part time until you determine that there’s enough work and income to make the full time switch. You’re going to tie up a lot of your time while you’re trying to figure it out, but it’s the most low risk way to do it, so it may be worth it.


This is an area where a lot of women want to make a change without actually making a change. Maybe your relationship has lost its zest and you don’t want to step out of it, you just want to know how to bring the excitement back in. Or perhaps everything he does annoys you and you just want to make things better.

There is no easy or one-size-fits-all way to change your relationship. That’s because even though you can control yourself and your actions, you can’t control someone else’s. So, even though you may want to see some overhauls in this area of your life, you have some considerations because it involves someone else’s thoughts, feelings and desires too.

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying you but you don’t want to leave it, you can change your perception of it. Instead of focusing on everything it isn’t concentrate on everything it is.

For example, don’t stay locked on the fact that he doesn’t empty the dishwasher or pick up his dirty clothes. Switch your focus to the good things he does for you, like take your car when it’s ready for an oil change or keep the yard all nice and tidy.

Remember why you fell in love with him and let yourself feel that love again. Maybe the way he chews his food sends you over the edge now, but do you remember when you found it to be endearing?

Things are only bad in your relationship if you perceive them to be that way. If you’re not willing to change your circumstances, then the only way to achieve change is to change how you view them.


woman opening curtain

If you’re like most women, the thing you want to change the most is yourself. You tell yourself that you can be happy if you can just let go of past mistakes and failures. The truth is, you’re probably right.

When you’re not happy with who you are and where you are at in life, you’re not going to be happy with anyone else either. You’ll be so busy beating yourself up that you’re not able to enjoy the life you deserve to live from now to eternity.

So, how do you change yourself when a full body and mind transplant is not yet a possibility?

You learn to accept the person that you are: mind, body and soul. Let go of what you did yesterday, last month or last year and start to move forward in life.

Some women are afraid to accept themselves for who they are as they fear that they’ll quit trying to improve themselves if they are okay with who they are. But, you can be comfortable with who you are and still try to better yourself. It just means that you approach yourself from a position of love versus a position of loathing.

There is no magic pill or potion that will ever make you okay with who you are. You can say that you’ll be fine when you’re thin enough or strong enough or successful enough, but the reality is that if you teach yourself to look down on who you are, you’ll always look down on who you are – regardless of where you’re at in life.

If you want to change yourself, you have to do it from the inside out. You need to deal with your thoughts, feelings and beliefs the way you would with a good friend – with love and compassion. For when you approach yourself that way, you’ll go through more change than you thought possible by simply changing the way you deal with yourself.

The truth is that you can drastically change your life by quitting your job, walking out on your relationship and going someplace where no one knows what mistakes you’ve made in the past, but you’ll still be the same person in the long run. So, if you want to change your life without changing your life, the best way to do it is to confront it head on. That will change it easy enough.

About the author

Christina DeBusk

Changing careers mid-life from law enforcement to writing, Christina spends her days helping others enrich their businesses and personal lives one word at a time.

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