According to a study conducted by NYU, it only takes seven seconds for a first impression to be made. That isn’t much time, so if you don’t use it wisely the person you are interacting with may walk away from your meeting with negative ones as opposed to positive ones.
How do you increase the odds that won’t happen?
1. Smile
Think about when you pass someone on the street. If they are smiling, you instantly assume that they are happy and you’re more inclined to smile back at them. However, if they are scowling or even straight faced, you don’t get such positive feelings and may decide not to interact with them.
The same is true for someone that you’re meeting in other situations. If you don’t have a smile on your face then you can come across as grumpy or as lacking in personality. You may give the impression that you’re no fun to be around which can make them dread future contact with you.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you should plaster a fake smile on your face either because the other person will likely be able to tell that it is forced.
Just relax and smile at them with the same kindness you would use if you were meeting a friend’s grandmother for the first time. Be pleasant and genuine, but not overbearing.
2. Don’t fidget
It’s only natural to be nervous when you’re meeting someone that could become your future boss, husband or hold some other primary role in your life. And, often when people get nervous, they fidget.
If this is you, then you need to learn how to get this anxious behavior under control because fidgeting may lead them to a couple of conclusions you don’t want them to make.
First, fidgeting can be construed as a sign of lack of self-esteem. They may think that you don’t have confidence or aren’t very strong and neither of these are appealing qualities.
Second, it’s distracting. If someone is so focused on your hands or feet moving that they’re not listening to what you’re saying then that is no good either. You may have their attention, but not in a good way.
What you’ll want to do is to try to keep yourself as still as you can be without looking like you’re glued to your chair or the place that you’re standing.
Maybe you could keep something in your hands like a glass of water to keep them busy without keeping them too busy or, if your feet are the problem, sit or stand in a way that makes it less easy to move them.
3. Ask them questions
What happens when you hold a conversation with someone that seems genuinely interested in you? It feels good, right? You walk away with your head a little higher, most likely thinking, “Wow. I really like that person!”
Well, the way to get a new contact to feel that way about you is to keep them talking about themselves. Ask them questions to show them that you truly want to get to know them and it isn’t all an act. When they say something, follow up with a question that is based on something they just said.
The more you show that you’re interested in them, the more positive of an impression you will create. You will come across as someone who is caring, compassionate and genuine.
The best part is that they’ll look forward to future meetings with you because they like the way you make them feel.
4. Truly listen
As a follow-up to asking questions, make sure you truly listen to their answers. Don’t be so busy formulating your next question that you don’t take the time to hear what it is that they’re saying.
If you’re distracted or just not hearing them, you’ll make the complete opposite impression that you’re going for. You’ll seem like someone that isn’t at all interested in them, so they’ll wonder why they should be interested in you.
Think of each conversation as a chance to learn something you didn’t know about that person. So, if he or she says something that you don’t understand then ask about it. Most people are more than happy to share their wisdom, knowledge and experiences with anyone who is willing to listen.
5. Have no expectations
The more you expect of a first meeting, the more nervous you’re going to be. Therefore, it’s best if you can wipe away any expectations and remove all the stress you can from the situation. After all, the more relaxed you are, the easier it will be to make a great first impression.
Remember that everything happens for a reason. Whether you land the job or find the love of your life is truly irrelevant. You are exactly where you are meant to be, no matter what the outcome.
Sure, good things may come of the meeting but only if they’re meant to. To try to force them isn’t going to do anything but bring you anxiety and frustration.
6. Mind your manners
When I went to a new chiropractor for the first time, the doctor walked in to the room where my fiancé and I were sitting and said, “I’m from Texas and where I come from, ladies go first so I’m going to start with you ma’am.”
Wow! Now that’s what I call a great first impression!
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and be so focused on trying to look good that you forget the basics – your manners. However, if you do then you can easily miss the opportunity to make a positive impact on the person you just met.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you only have to have manners and be respectful with the first meeting, of course. It’s just a gentle reminder that your respectful actions can make a huge impact if you use them from the second you meet someone.
7. Be yourself
If you are so fixated on making a solid first impression that you aren’t yourself, then that isn’t any good. You want them to get to know you, which they aren’t going to be able to do if you’re pretending to be someone else.
Don’t be so focused on being great that you are fake and impersonal. No one wants to be around someone who acts like that. Not to mention, even if you do get them to like you when you’re not being “real” then it’s not really you that they like anyway.
While it’s great to make a wonderful first impression, it also isn’t necessary to take everyone you meet and knock them off their feet. Nor is it realistic to believe that everyone will like you. Sometimes two people just aren’t cohesive and that may end up being the case in this situation.
The only way to find out if you’re compatible with someone else (whether it be in a working or personal relationship) is to expose who you really are to them. Be willing to be yourself and see how the cards fall. Good, bad or indifferent, at least you will know that you didn’t sell yourself out to get someone to like you.
Now, make those first seven seconds count and show the world the greatness that you behold. It’s time to let the Queen in you shine through.
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