Ladies, trust me, you've got the goods – it doesn't matter what shape, size or age you are – it's time to dig out your kink and get in the mood.
A satisfying sex life gives you a sexy, confident glow that will radiate into all areas of your life. You should be having lots of it!
Sex doesn't have to be ordinary or predictable either… so come and explore the levels of sexual satisfaction you could be reaching in your relationship with my 30 hot sex tips. By the time you have finished, your man will definitely label you the best sex he's ever had.
Before we start though, I want you to promise me three things, repeat after me…
- I will never doubt my ability to make my man moan. I have the goods and I'm in my prime.
- I will always make sure I am thoroughly enjoying everything I take part in. 100 per cent enthusiasm is paramount to my success in the saddle.
- From this point on, I am a Sex Goddess. If my man and I are both sexually satisfied, then there is no such thing as cellulite! Repeat… There is no such thing as cellulite!
The most important thing I want you to remember as you are flicking through my 30 sex tips, is that sex is about enjoying yourself and letting go.
Once you have conquered that, it won't matter what techniques you use in bed, your man will thoroughly enjoy your sexual energy anyway and the creativity and confidence you bring to bed with you will be a lucky bonus.
Okay, let's get started…
Sex tip #1: Read erotic fiction and perspire a sexual energy that will drive him wild!
The secret to getting your man excited is in getting yourself riled up first! Remember – being horny is contagious. There is nothing more sexy and hot to a man than a woman who doesn't need warming up and is ready to pounce on him of her own accord.
Men love assertive women in the bedroom, so get yourself in the mood by reading lots of erotic fiction – I recommend a daily dose of erotica if you've got a man waiting for you at home because regular sex is good for your body and your mind.
Get an E book Reader and download as many free erotic titles as you need to make good use of your commute home from work. I like to think of it as sex education, and being productive with my time (wink wink)!
Did you know…? When you share sexual energy with your partner your energy attributes are transferred to fulfill your partner's needs, and vice versa, which causes that wonderful sense of fulfillment. This is why two people in love experience sexual pleasure that feels refreshing and nourishing. Forget 5-a-day, I want my daily dose of Erotica!
Sex tip #2: Men want access to your secret fantasies; write them down and let him read
What a man would give for access to a woman's secret desires! If you're too shy to talk about your fantasies, you should definitely try this…
Spend a week writing down all your sexy thoughts in a private journal, and then be naughty enough to leave it somewhere where you know he will find it and have a read. Make sure the first line on the first page is sexual and raw so that he won't be able to put it down, if you include his name you can guarantee he won't be able to resist sifting right the way through.
Hmmm, I wonder if your man has the initiative to help any of your fantasies find their way into your bedroom in the coming few weeks? Chances are he's not going to be able to get them out of his head, that's for sure!
Did you know…? There are many women who have rape fantasies; I've certainly had my fair share of fantasising about being savagely overpowered and taken by a man!
If you're anything like me then you will probably feel too inhibited to write about such a thing for your man to read. The allure of a rape fantasy for a woman though is nothing to be ashamed about because the pleasure is not about being beaten up; it is about being desired intensely, and feeling free enough to abandon her vulnerabilities to the animal instincts of a man.
It is about being sexually ravished, and wanting to feel like a man really, really wants you! It's actually a very common fantasy, you are not alone. If you express in your fantasy what turns you on about it and how it makes you feel, your guy will definitely tune in to the fact that you want to be ravished rather than assaulted.
Sex tip #3: Turn him on with an unexpected stream of sexually-charged text messages
The thrill of receiving an unexpected message packed with sex, and while he is out in a public place, will catch him off guard and excite him to no end.
I know because this is something that happened to me just the other week, and I was completely affected in the middle of my shopping trip. I blushed all over the place and suddenly had no idea what I was shopping for! I tried it out randomly on my lover yesterday, and it had exactly the same effect on him – only his ‘blush' was more of a hard-on!
I'd advise you to make sure you know he isn't driving, because this is a text message that is guaranteed to stop traffic. There's little chance of him being able to concentrate on anything he may have been doing previously, which will thrill him even more because he will be so surprised at the effect you have had on him.
For the best effect, send a succession of raunchy messages and build up the tension quickly with each one. Write about what you did together in bed last, and make sure you describe in detail what you want to do to him the next time you see him. The more visual and specific the better.
Don't be shy, the point is to catch him off guard, make his eyes pop out of his head and his penis to jump out of his pants!
Did you know…? When you talk or text dirty, the best results are when you refer specifically to the details of your sexual escapades with your man; it makes his imagination instantly fly back to the incidents you are describing and he'll get a very sexy flashback.
For example – “I love the way you put your fingers into my knickers and gently pinched my lips together to rub my clit in between, it made me so wet!” or “I'm thinking about last night, when I was kneeling in front you, and I took your entire c*ck into my mouth. Those noises you were making made me want to keep going until you lost control and I could feel…” Well you get the drift!
Sex tip #4: Men want to see your ass, so turn around when you're on top!
All sex-savvy girls know that the best way to control your orgasm is to go on top. And all sex-savvy girls also know that the appeal of girl-on-top for the guy is that he gets a great front-row view of your breasts, stomach and face.
But if you're truly a sex-savvy girl, you'll know that guys LOVE a girl's bum and sexy back. There is nothing more sexy than seeing the feminine curve of a woman's spine glisten with sweat as she grinds her ass away on top, climbing to her own peak.
So surprise him, and when you climb on top, climb on back-to-front. Put your back into it! This is also a great move for anal sex and anal play, if you've got lots of lube and less of a conscience…
Did you know…? Anal sex isn't painful if your body and mind are prepared for it – you have to be very turned on and receptive to the idea of anal sex before you can go through with it and find it pleasurable!
The best and most pleasurable sex position for a woman to have anal sex is for her to go on top, where she can not only control the depth and pace, but also clench her thighs and the muscles in her ass and vagina, whilst rubbing her clitoris against the shaft of his penis as she works her way towards a powerful climax.
You will literally feel the hard base of his penis locked in between the lips of your vagina as you push down to get contact with your clitoris, as he penetrates you from behind.
Half the pleasure is in the fact that it feels so taboo and you have to surrender yourself, and accept that actually, you're rather enjoying this, you naughty girl...
Sex tip #5: Show off your tongue-technique with some oral-finger-play before a blowjob…
Putting a guy's finger slowly into your mouth, while looking straight into his eyes and then sucking on it, up and down, slow and purposeful, is guaranteed to give him an immediate hard-on. If you use your tongue and plenty of saliva too, he will be gagging for a blow job.
Work your way across his hand, taking in each finger, and maybe even two or three at a time just to play with his mind, whilst slowly caressing his c*ck in his pants before you go down there with your mouth, is seriously sexy.
You can put your own finger into his mouth too if you want and see how sexy it feels for yourself. Express your desire through your eyes and really get into it – slow and sensual and precise. He will be watching you with severe concentration. Make him see that you want to rip his pants off!
Sex tip #6: Men love the thrill of the chase, but don't be a c*ck-tease!
There is an unpleasant difference between playing a bit of hard-to-get and attention seeking. No man will appreciate being lead to a state of sexual frustration if you have no intention of taking part to satisfy the itch.
It isn't attractive to lead someone on, so if your flirtations are obviously sexually-orientated, then make sure you are clear from the start if it's just a bit of verbal banter. If you're serious about your flirting, however, and you want to show him how hot you really are, then take command and see your sexual torments through to a climactic finish – one that he will remember!
This goes for sexting or Facebook messaging before you meet up, describing fantasies with the impression that you want to play them out, and any sort of physical foreplay.
Did you know…? A man will evaluate the correlation between effort and value when it comes to most things in life (from choosing women, to shopping for consumer items), and show an increased interest and preference for anything that requires more effort, as the outcome results in more satisfaction at achieving the challenge.
Imagine if after all that effort and expectation he ends up without his reward! Not sexy, I'm afraid.
Sex tip #7: Ordinary cotton panties are exciting!
Believe it or not, although men love a sexy pair of black lace French knickers and matching bra, they can also get immensely turned on by discovering that you are wearing your ordinary cotton panties – especially the Bridget Jones kind! What is the explanation for this strange phenomenon?
Well, it's really quite simple.
Wearing simple underwear or ones that don't match, suggests that you weren't expecting him to see you naked, and makes the sex feel even more raw, illicit and initiated by pure animal instinct. Spontaneous sex is always a turn-on, and letting go of your inhibitions instantly increases your sex appeal… more so than sexy lingerie!
Did you know…? As women, we choose lingerie with our figures in mind, wanting to choose items that flatter the parts of our body we are insecure about and that accentuate our attributes; whereas a man's preference in lingerie is generally about what the items connote.
For example, the appeal of white underwear is that it is suggestive of innocence/virgin/corruption of purity. Black or red lacy underwear, on the other hand, is often associated with the erotic. The sexual appeal of underwear for a man is psychological, not practical or aesthetic.
Sex tip #8: Make him say “Wow” by learning how to grip his penis inside of you!
Ladies, you have muscles inside your vagina that you aren't using, and you are missing out on intense orgasms; not to mention missing out on an opportunity to make your man think you are God's gift sent directly from heaven!
Many women know about PC Muscles and Kegel exercises, but don't tend to bother with them. It can make a significant difference to your sexual satisfaction and the quality of your performance in bed, though.
By doing your daily Kegel exercises you can strengthen the muscles inside your vagina and learn how to control them to GRIP and caress his penis when it is inside of you, giving him a ‘sucked in' feeling that he is going to love.
You can exercise your PC Muscles inside your vagina by clenching and releasing the muscles you use to hold back when you pee, although it is advised not to do your Kegels while you are on the toilet mid-flow. Kegels are, however, so discrete that you can do them anywhere you like without anybody knowing.
When you begin to have more control, you will notice that you and your man can enjoy some very pleasurable new sensations during sex. Tense the muscles in your bum and thighs while you're at it and find yourself tipping over the edge with intense orgasms.
What man doesn't want to hear his woman scream with pleasure? Don't leave all the work to him, take control from the inside!
Did you know…? You can buy sex toys in the shape of small eggs that you insert into your vagina to aid in exercising your PC Muscles. The eggs are weighted and you use the muscles inside of your vagina to manipulate the eggs.
The ones I have been checking out online are made of Jade, and apparently, they assume your body's natural temperature almost immediately, so they are not uncomfortable at all.
If, like me, you are freaked out at the thought of losing one inside of your vaginal cave, they also come with a hole drilled through the middle and a cord attached so you can pull it out like a tampon – Next time your guy thinks you've got a tampon in, you can tell him to give the cord a pull, and he'll get a kinky surprise when he pulls out a jade egg!
You can also get silver and silicone jiggle balls from commercial sex stores which work in the same way.
Sex tip #9: Show him how you bring yourself to climax using Skype…
Every man wants to see you playing with yourself; it's naughty, fun and raw. But most of us aren't used to having an audience when we masturbate.
It's easy to go crazy and lose all abandon when you're alone, or when you're having sex and your partner is fully involved, but if he's just sitting there and watching… focusing on your hot spot… well it's just not going to happen is it girls? Masturbating in front of your man is a hot way for him to pick up some tips and ideas, though, especially if he hasn't been able to get you off yet.
The chances are he is going to get turned on by watching and start playing with himself too, but if you need even more distance to be able to focus on your own orgasm with no distractions, then try self-masturbation with your partner using Skype.
You can set up your laptop, turn on some seductive music or even some porn, get comfortable, and zone him out if you need to. You can rest assured that seeing you on a screen will be an erotic experience for him too, and a memory he is going to savor.
Did you know…? If you are having Skype sex and you are nervous, it's okay to admit it and have a giggle. Laughing is actually a turn on and adds to the sexual anticipation and build up, encouraging blood flow, and lightening the mood to relieve performance anxiety.
Sex tip #10: Stuck for birthday ideas? Impress him with a dirty weekend away…
Men aren't complicated creatures, but finding the right gift for a guy can be daunting. If you want to top all of his gifts this year, organize a dirty weekend away, just before his birthday.
Make sure he is well aware that you'll be up for all sorts, and pack all your naughty lingerie, condoms, toys and lube – and most importantly – your camera to capture all the erotic memories.
Then when you get back home, have the photos developed and published into a book using any cheap online print-on-demand service, or create your own photo album by printing out the digital prints on your printer at home. Wrap it up and give it to him discreetly on an actual day as his birthday gift!
He will think you're awesome and will have a constant reminder of all the naughty and special moments you both had together on your dirty weekend away.
Did you know…? Couples have the best sex when they are away together. There must be something about not having anything else but each other to think about. Knowing that you are in a foreign environment can encourage you to open up and do things you may not normally be doing.
Use the opportunity to talk about and experiment with secret fantasies, and try to use the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, because your body and mind will naturally be feeling relaxed; perfect for all sorts of new sexual adventures!
Sex tip #11: Show him what you've got: be confident walking around naked
Sex appeal comes from within. You have an energy that radiates from you when you let your inhibitions go. That is what guys really find attractive in a woman, not necessarily the level of physical perfection he perceives.
Have the self-confidence to feel good in your own skin, not your clothes, and you will achieve natural sexiness. Keep in mind that good posture helps all body shapes to look good naked. Confidence and good posture come hand-in-hand. The trick is to tilt your hips back comfortably and take a deep, long breath in so that your chest rises and your breasts lift.
When you breath out again, hold the posture using the core muscles in your stomach. If you do this looking side-on in front of a mirror you will see the natural curve of your spine change. Remember, head up, shoulders back, don't strain… this is just you, standing up straight, and you are naturally beautiful.
Don't forget to maintain good posture when you sit down too, a belly can remain flat and lovely if only you would sit up straight! Developing your core muscles to support your back will help with your posture, and make it feel more natural and comfortable.
Did you know…? A guy is more likely to be in awe of the fact that he has a beautiful, confident sexy woman walking around in front of him naked, to notice any of your own perceived flaws.
If he's not worried about them, then there is no need for you to be either is there? Anyway, aren't you meant to think about his big, hard, throbbing…
Sex tip #12: Wet the whole of your hand before you touch his penis!
Slippy and slidey is what he wants to feel, just like the inside of your mouth and vagina. So if you're having a fondle, you may as well do it properly.
Get him to lick your palm if you don't want to spit. Don't be put off by all the extra saliva, the more the better. If you prefer, use lube. Now you can play!
If you aren't sure what he likes just ask him to show you. Get him to put his hand over yours and note the pressure and rhythm he uses. Variety is always a good thing too, so vary your strokes, and remember – make sure its always nice and WET!
Did you know…? There are some men who aren't particularly impressed by hand-jobs because it's something they can do better themselves; self-masturbation is always more effective because you know exactly what you are feeling and what you need to do to reach your peak.
But touching him while he is touching you can be great foreplay, and seeing your wet, lubed up hands all over his c*ck will be a visual turn on in itself!
Sex tip #13: The ultimate Blow Job Queen is the girl who loves to swallow!
Not every woman wants to, and if you don't want to swallow, then you shouldn't. Notice I say that the ultimate Blow Job Queen is the girl who loves to swallow!
If you don't genuinely want to do it, then you are missing my point. The turn-on for your guy is the fact that you are so into it, and that you love blowing him so much, that you want to lap up every last drop.
If you swallow just because you think he wants you to, but you don't genuinely want to yourself and you end up with a look on your face that basically says “yuck!”, well, you've just ruined the whole experience for both of you! What was the point in that?
What you have to understand, is that men are turned on by you and your attitude to what you are doing, not just the fact that his penis feels good being sucked off. This is just one of many blowjob techniques you should master asap!
Did you know…? Ejaculation and Orgasm are not necessarily the same thing for a man. Some men don't actually ejaculate for several seconds after they have experienced an orgasm, and others don't ejaculate at all but that doesn't mean they haven't climaxed.
This means that removing his penis from your mouth before he ejaculates doesn't necessarily affect his orgasm. If you want to pull out before ejaculation, tell him first, and let him guide you so that you know when to stop.
Sex tip #14: Men think female ejaculation is hot! Don't hold back if the sensations rise
The universal fear among all women who have never experienced a female ejaculation but who might be close is that they are going to urinate! The thought is understandably mortifying.
Why oh why does the sensation prior to female ejaculation have to feel like you are about to accidentally pee all over your partner's hands, or worse… face? It is just not fair.
If you keep holding back, though, you might be missing out on a new level of orgasm, and also on seeing the satisfaction on your man's face knowing he did that to you! A man just wants to be the best lover you've ever had, which means making you feel great.
Talk to him about your concerns, pop a few towels down, and give it your all. You'll only know if you try, and trying is far better than constantly having to hold back your orgasm, as far as I am concerned. Talk about frustrating!
Did you know…? The reason you might feel like you need to pee during G-Spot stimulation or when you are about to experience a female ejaculation is that your G-Spot is located close to your urethra tube which is connected to your bladder.
When your G-Spot is stimulated there is a clear liquid that builds up, which isn't urine. The female ejaculation occurs when you push this liquid out of you when you climax.
The unnerving thing is that this liquid does, in fact, make its way out through your urethra, and if you don't have good control over your PC Muscles then there is a chance that your guy will get a golden shower, yikes!
Sex tip #15: Dare to wax it all off and be guaranteed lots of oral attention
Whether a guy says he prefers a woman natural or not, when you wax off all of your pubic hair and it is silky smooth, he's not going to be able to resist going down there, a lot, even if it is just out of curiosity and fascination.
There is just something irresistible about being able to see everything clearly and lick and suck the baby-smooth skin down there. Shaving, on the other hand, can be a complete turn-off unless you have done an impeccable job and are literally freshly shaven by no more than a few hours because stubble isn't exactly oral-sex friendly I'm afraid.
Did you know…? Many women like to have their pubic hair waxed for hygiene reasons. When there is no hair to retain unwanted smells you can feel more confident when your man goes down on you. It's also easier for him to breathe during oral sex because there is no hair to block airways.
It's a bit naughty and you might feel you look a bit like a porn star, but that can be an interesting change, and perhaps make you behave differently which can be exciting for you and your partner!
Sex tip #16: If you want extended foreplay, pay attention to his penis at regular intervals!
No, foreplay isn't just about you! He may be getting all sorts of pleasure from pleasuring you, but if you don't give his penis some direct stimulation here and there, the foreplay part of the evening is quickly going to be over.
A guy's pleasure is penis-focused and visual, while he may enjoy being turned on visually by seeing you get aroused during foreplay, sooner or later he is going to need some physical stimulation back. Don't get into the habit of developing a routine, though, because the predictable is not exciting.
I suggest a mixture of absent-minded fondling and stroking, glimpses of oral attention – you know, tongue-flicking and licking and kissing, more focused oral attention – sucking and deep-throat, Using your hands… Don't forget to break away so that he can come back to pleasuring you, and the foreplay can go on and on and on… Blissful.
Did you know…? Most men and women who are able to climax at the same time can do so because they have spent a sufficient amount of time on foreplay.
It usually takes a woman longer than a man to get fully aroused, so if you are wanting to try for a simultaneous orgasm then make sure you give yourself a good head-start by extending foreplay and getting yourself to the brink before you start with penetration.
Sex tip #17: If a man likes to play with your ass, chances are he wants you to play with his!
Anal play is a touchy topic, but there are more men and women out there who enjoy it than you might think.
Why on earth would anyone enjoy playing with the area that your waste exits from? I hear you thinking with disgust. Well, the fact is your anus (and his) is a playground of nerve endings that can add all sorts of pleasure to sex and foreplay. The pleasure is both physical and psychological.
Once you get your head around the fact that you enjoy it, you can get off on the thought of doing something naughty. If you want to see if your man likes it too, without necessarily putting him off by asking – some men aren't man enough to admit to liking the sensations they can get from anal play – then just let your fingers wander further back whenever you are paying attention to his balls.
Observe his reactions when you massage his perineum, which is the penny-sized area of skin between his scrotum and his anus. Gently brush over his anus entrance with your moist fingertips during sex. If he doesn't get freaked out you can begin to massage the area gently, using plenty of moisture, and perhaps even insert a sneaky finger!
Did you know…? The male equivalent of the female G-Spot is inside his anus. It is called the Prostate Gland. If a guy is open-minded, he can experience the most intense orgasm he has ever had by having this spot massaged with fingers or with an anal toy.
Ask your guy if he would like to experiment, then take a shower together and see what happens… Remember to use plenty of lubrication, you can never have too much when it comes to anal play because the skin tissue is very delicate and prone to tearing, which can encourage infections.
If you are feeling particularly adventurous, try using your tongue!
Sex tip #18: Don't forget the rest of his body! Give him a sensual, relaxing back massage.
Sometimes it is easy to get so carried away with all the hardcore sexual fun that we forget to slow down and appreciate the simple things. Show a guy you actually care about him, and want to worship the whole of his body, not just his penis, by offering him a sensual back massage.
Take the time to set up a calm and relaxing environment for him with candles and pillows and low lighting, and he will be touched that you have gone to so much creative effort for him. A relaxing back massage can often be a great instigator for more sexual foreplay too, and your man will feel refreshed and properly attended to and ready to give you some of his attention.
Running your hands all over his oiled up body is also a great way to prime yourself for foreplay and sex! We all have our ulterior motives eh?
Did you know…? Nuru massage is a very sexy type of massage where the masseuse gets fully naked and uses their oiled-up body to massage the client's body! The word ‘Nuru' comes from the special Nuru gel that is used, and comes from the Japanese language meaning ‘slippery'.
Sex tip #19: Move your body in a way intended to visually excite him during sex and foreplay.
I don't care if I've said it a million times already, but men LOVE to watch! They are erotic visualists and get turned on by what they see. Believe it or not, so can you, when you put your mind to it. If you really want to turn him on, pay closer attention to the way you move your body during sex and foreplay.
I'm not talking about holding your tummy in to disguise your fat! I mean really pay attention to the movements your body can make; play about with speed, rotation, deep breathing, rhythm, quick movements and jerks, and any spontaneous, raw movement that will excite his (and your) visual appetite!
The secret is it leading his eyes to certain parts of your body. For example, if you are on top you can rotate your hips in different directions, clenching the muscles in your thighs, move your belly in and out and around, jerk your chest up when you take a breath so that your breasts lift and he won't be able to help watching them.
Think of your body as a tool you can use to hypnotize you both into a state of sexual submission, and really feel the sexual pleasure build up as you move your body, don't just put on a show for the sake of putting on a show
Did you know…? The more in tune you are with the movements of your body, the more aroused you will be able to become without the need for his physical stimulation.
You can build your own arousal just by mixing your imagination with an acute awareness of the sexiness of your own body, and the effect you know you're having on your partner.
Sex tip #20: Give him a manual wake-up call when you want him to rise to the occasion!
A limp penis is easily rectified with the right technique. Firstly take his penis in your hand, no need to be wimpy about it, don't be too aggressive either, it is attached to him you know!
Think of yourself as an expert and be confident without being rough. Make sure your hand is lubricated and place it around his penis at the base, now with the other lubricated hand work your way up the length of his penis using a circular twisting motion.
When you get to the top, caress the head with your palm before returning back to the base to work your way up again, always going in one direction – upwards – because that is exactly what we're aiming for! When his erection is hard enough you can maintain it by forming a V-shape with your thumb and fingers and continuing to stroke, always in an upwards direction.
Did you know…? There are a variety of ways you can stimulate a man's penis with just your hands. For example, have you tried clasping two hands together, and with your fingers scissored slipping them over his penis, working you way up and down his shaft in long twisting motions?
Then when his erection is firm, you can eliminate the twist and instead gently contract and release tension around the shaft at one-second intervals stopping just before the head. You can alternate the twisting and contracting strokes until he is ready to burst, contracting in time with his spasms.
The orgasm will feel like a gradual and intense build-up, and you will be given the hand-job medal of honor! Aren't you proud?
Sex tip #21: Men love it when you apply a bit of suction during oral sex
Before you get carried away, there is a specific way to do this, and a little trick that will make it a lot easier for you, and much more elegant with none of that disorientation sloppy sucking sounds. A good blow job involves creativity, variety and plenty of genuine enthusiasm.
Never think that all there is to a blow job is an up and down motion with a penis in your mouth. Try this and take a look at his face when you've finished – the words ‘I am such an oral-sex Queen!' may come to mind!
When he is close to orgasm, take as much of his penis into your mouth as you can and place your hand firmly around the rest. Then make a circle by joining your thumb and forefinger and place it around your lips – yes your lips – so that you can stop the air escaping (clever huh?)
Now use your tongue to move around his shaft while gently pulling your cheeks in to create suction. You can open your mouth to release the suction, always keeping the tip of your tongue engaged. For an even more intense sensation use your thumb or the palm of your other hand to massage his perineum underneath his balls.
Men will also like the look of your cheeks hollowing to emphasise your cheekbones as you suck on his c*ck!
Did you know…? That suction sensation can also be achieved during intercourse by clenching your PC muscles and sucking him into your vagina and pushing him out again!
Sex tip #22: Make it easier for your man to watch you whilst having sex
Men are visual exhibitionists and many of them have a secret fantasy of video taping their sexual sessions and being able to watch themselves having sex with a woman at a later date. The problem, of course, is that most of us women wouldn't ever dream of immortalizing and magnifying all of our physical imperfections on screen. T
here's just no way! Or is there…? Have you ever thought about building yourself up to taking part in this fantasy by offering a very simple and exciting compromise?
Try erecting a large mirror in the bedroom so that you can both watch everything during sexual intercourse. You can play about with lighting to resolve any body inhibitions. Once you get used to seeing yourself having sex and realize that actually you look damn hot writhing away on top, or whatever position you are in, then perhaps you will be more turned on by the idea of recording your sex session for your partner's (and your own) enjoyment.
Did you know…? A hot way to spice up a blowjob is to place a full-length mirror behind you so that your man can watch you bend down in front of him in your erotic lingerie.
He gets two great views, a bird's eye angle of what you are doing with your mouth as he looks down and you look up at him, and a fabulous erotic view of your sexy back and ass in sexy lingerie as he looks at your reflection in the mirror and sees himself getting a blow job. It is certainly an image he is never going to forget!
Sex tip #23: Up your sex appeal and sexual satisfaction by being more vocal in bed
You probably don't think to a great extent about the noises and sounds you make when you are having sex because they are just natural responses to the pleasure you are feeling, but most of the guys I have spoken to about it have said that they would love it if their women were more vocal in bed.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think they meant they wanted their girlfriends to start screaming out despicable phrases and screaming their way to climax because that would be fake, and fake is never a turn-on.
When a guy says he wishes you were more vocal in bed, what he is saying is that he doesn't want you to hold back. He wants you to let those gasps and sighs and shrieks of pleasure spring out in the heat of the moment. He wants to hear you breathing heavily in his ear, and the more animal and inelegant you are, the better.
Sex isn't about having good manners, even if you are having it served up at the dinner table! Sex is being able to give in to your carnal instincts and surrender yourself to uncontrollable pleasure. Being vocal and dirty talk are also very important techniques to learn if you want to get exactly what you need in bed.
Your man isn't a mind reader, and most men want you to instruct them. Instructions during sex, of course, sound much better when you say it dirty!
Did you know…? Verbalizing your pleasure is easy and doesn't have to feel fake if you simply describe what you want your man to do and what you want to do to your man. If your imagination isn't up to par or you are feeling shy, then recall some of the things you have experienced together in the past and relive them verbally whilst you are having sex or during foreplay.
When you talk about sex in a sexy way you turn your man on by helping to create visual stimulants in his mind. And there's no need to say it with a snarl, lick your lips or pout and put on a porn-star accent either. Just be you.
Sex tip #24: Too much soap is boring, dare to be dirty!
Obviously, it is always important to be hygienic, but insecure women often have a tendency to go overboard with the perfumes and soaps and body sprays. The truth is that men want to smell and taste the real you.
I don't mean they want to smell a week's worth of sweat or go down on you after you have had a full work-out at the gym, but don't think that every time you have sex or every time your man goes down on you have to be squeaky clean, fresh from the shower and smelling of roses.
Men don't want to bang flowers, they want to make love to a real human being with a natural musky body odor and salty skin every once in a while! Your body emits a natural odor that is designed to turn on a man's animal instincts, why would you want to disguise that?
Don't get me wrong, linen fresh and clean is good, but some of the more musky and potent smells are what will really bring out the beast in a man. Hot sweaty dripping wet sex is usually the best. If a guy wants to go down on you after having sex, don't be too worried about what you smell like, let him go where he wants to go, he's making a choice because he wants to, if he didn't want to he wouldn't bother, right?
Did you know…? Being too enthusiastic in the shower can lead to some embarrassing problems. If you use too much-scented perfume between your legs, you can actually upset the chemical balance inside your vagina that keeps the natural bacteria in there at the right levels.
Messing with these levels can lower your vagina's immunity and you can end up with an infection and an awful fishy-smelling discharge that will put your sex life on hold for at least two weeks!
Sex tip #25: Look at him! When he's inside you, going down on you, but not when he's kissing you!
Intensify the electricity between you and your man by connecting with your eyes. When you look at a man during sex and foreplay you create a bond and you can communicate everything you are feeling in that look – desire, need, pleasure, naughty thoughts, pain, insecurity, confidence, reassurance… you name it!
When you look your man directly in the eye instead of closing them during sex, you are saying I am here right now enjoying this with you, you turn me on, seeing you turns me on, I don't need to take myself to a private place and disconnect to focus on my orgasm, you're all I need right now to get me there. It's basically a massive ego-boost, and it's erotic to be watched during an intimate moment.
Don't keep your eyes open while you are kissing him, though, because that is weird and distracting. Guys who have experienced this in the past say that they feel the woman isn't connecting with them, and that she feels detached and clinical because she isn't losing herself in the kiss.
Did you know…? When you look directly at a guy during sex or while you are masturbating you are giving him permission to look at you rather than being passively observed. Looking back at a man is like taking part when he looks at you.
Renaissance paintings often depicted naked women who do not look directly out at the observer of the painting, they were painted as passive objects to be admired by men. Do you want to be a passive object or an active participant?
Sex tip #26: NEVER fake it!
Men are not turned on by your loud screams of delight, they are turned on by the thought that you are genuinely enjoying all of the pleasure they are giving you. One of the worst things you can do is exaggerate, or worse, fake it, just because you don't want to disappoint him.
If he begins to suspect that something isn't quite right you could damage his confidence and ruin sex between you, because he won't be able to trust you or have faith in his own abilities any more.
Even more importantly, once you start faking it with your man, you will have to live up to the expectations you have set up, and he won't understand why he can't have the same effect on you every time, especially when he is doing exactly the same thing as all those other times when you came screaming and panting and calling out his name!
What a guy wants from you is honesty and communication, with a little bit of empathy for the fact that he is not a mind-reader. Any tips or gentle persuasion you give him to get him going in the right direction will be much more appreciated than a fake orgasm. You're not doing you or him any favors by not being honest.
Did you know…? Most men love it when a girl gives them instructions in bed. It shows confidence because you know what you want and you know how your own body works.
They can also pick up new tips and tricks, because not every girl likes the same things, so communicate with him what you like as an individual, no matter how different you may think it sounds, is an education!
Sex tip #27: If you're feeling horny don't wait for him to call. Men want you to initiate sex!
Are you one of those girls who patiently waits like an innocent, passive lover, for her man to initiate sex, even when you're feeling horny and frustrated? Do you lie in bed next to your man hoping he will snuggle up behind you and slip his hand around your front in between your legs?
Do you wait for him to kiss you first and then mirror his moves and pace? BORING! Men do love to take the lead, but they also love it when a woman takes control of her own desires and makes things happen. There is nothing more sexy than a girl who takes her man's head in her hands and plants a firm sensual kiss on his lips, tongue and all…
Or a girl who reaches down and puts her hand on his growing bulge, pulling him towards her so that he knows exactly what she wants… Or a woman who takes the initiative to undo his trousers… Be the confident girl who knows what she wants and takes it!
Did you know…? Taking the initiative to instigate sex will give you a total power trip that will actually turn you on even more, because your reassurance of what you want will ignite a fiery passion in your man, and suddenly things between you are likely to get pretty steamy, fast!
The spontaneity of your assertive behavior will instantly get both of your hearts racing which will send blood rushing round your body, along with a shot of adrenaline, and all of your nerve endings with come to life, making everything feel ten times better than usual!
Sex tip #28: If you are on top, don't be afraid to pump him faster, and faster. Seriously, jump up and down!
Well, okay, maybe don't literally jump, because you could damage him. Sex with you on top means you can control the pace and build up to your climax the way you want to. He won't have any issues with how slow and sensual you have chosen to move because he is thoroughly enjoying the view! What he really wants though is to see you lose yourself and go crazy up there.
He wants to see you build up to a vigorous, unleashed pounding – they don't call it ‘riding a c*ck‘ for nothing you know? Think of those mechanical bulls!
No need to take it there immediately of course, take your time and think about your own pleasure, experiment with different movements and enjoy different sensations, but when you really want to give him a treat, and thoroughly enjoy yourself while you're at it, speed that rhythm up, hold onto his hands or chest for support and give yourself a real good work out!
We're talking hot and wet and sweaty, throw those hands up in the air and enjoy yourself…
Did you know…? When you get seriously turned on, your senses change. Smells and body changes that you might normally shy away from, suddenly add to your arousal and animal passion. If you find yourself wanting to really get involved and get his sweaty body all over you, go for it! You will unleash your raw instinctual sexuality which will turn him on even more.
Sex tip #29: Go shopping for sex toys – with your man!
Going to a sex shop with your man is a great way to build anticipation, get new ideas, and feel like sex is all shiny and brand new again! Don't shop online, though, actually, go to a large sex store and browse together.
Take your time, educate yourselves on toys and contraptions you've never seen before. Discretely tell each other what you'd like to use on each other when there are no other customers or sales assistants in earshot. Aside from getting incredibly horny, you will both be able to get a clearer idea of each other's fantasies and sexual boundaries.
Sex can be a bit of a mystery if you are not used to being open and talking about it with each other. A trip to a sex shop can be an enlightening experience, and make it much easier to open up.
Did you know…? If you're not too shy you can actually learn a lot more from the sales assistants and other customers who might be shopping alongside you than just going online to read product descriptions. Other people can share their own tips and experiences with certain products, and you can find out things that you may not have considered by yourselves.
Always come away from a sex shopping trip with something new to experiment with, and build up your goody drawer slowly.
Sex tip #30: Give him a power trip, describe in detail when he turns you on in compromising positions
Men love feedback. If you take the time out to tell him about all those times he has made you wet in public with just a few choice words or a look, then not only will you be boosting his ego, but you will be fueling his confidence to pay more attention to the little things that really turn you on throughout the day! He probably has no idea about the little things he does that makes you weak at the knees.
A man's mind works differently to ours, and the little things that excite you about him may be so subjective that there is no way he would ever guess. When you share these little nuggets of information with him, you give him a sense of power knowing what an incredible effect he can have on you without even realizing it.
Any access into the dark and mysterious mind of a woman is an instant turn-on for a man, so make good use of your experiences.
Did you know…? When you begin to open up in your relationship and are able to freely be verbal about the things that turn you and your partner on, you will unleash a kind of sexual creativity and both start thinking more outside the box.
Talking often about sex with your partner means you will be thinking about sex more, and your creative wheels will begin to turn, making you more curious and eager to learn new things about each other and about yourself. All it takes is for an initial idea or seed to be planted and nurtured a little, for it to sprout and for your sex life to grow and flourish.
So, there you have it! 30 hot sex tips to go away and think about, and integrate into your sex life. Hopefully, you will be feeling ready and excited to try out a few new things and see what kind of effect you can have on your guy…
Sex is a constantly evolving activity and something you can play about with the more you get to know about your partner. There is always something new to discover, and no excuse for being stuck in a sexual rut. Having a great sex life is less about knowing what to do, and more about having a great rapport and connection with your man, so that you can feel comfortable and inspired enough to experiment and have fun.
If you want more detailed information about certain topics I have touched on in this article, browse through my other articles for in-depth how-to's, tips, tricks and real-life anecdotes… and if there is something I haven't covered, please feel free to get in touch with You Queen Magazine and tell them that you want Scarlett Robinson to write about it!
Have fun, and you're welcome!