In Bed

Head’s Up – How to Give Great Head and Blow His Mind!

Blow jobs – they’re a part of sex that make us squirm, but men love it. I’m not putting that in my mouth! So how can we do it, pleasure our partners and enjoy it?

It’s something we try to avoid! Our partners love them so much, but the thought of doing it makes most women gag. Blowjobs! But in all relationships, sex is a give and take thing. We expect our men to indulge us, but at the same time, we don’t want to reciprocate. First and foremost, you need to quit thinking about blow jobs as an actual job or chore. Blowjobs, yes they do seem horrible, dirty and sometimes just plain embarrassing, but if they’re done properly, you’ll see that oral sex can be more than satisfying for both you and your partner.

#1 Chill out and relax…

Nothing good comes out of rushing things. In the back of our minds, we think the faster we give our partner his much-wanted blowjob, the better, but it doesn’t work this way. You need to linger a little bit more because nothing about giving or receiving oral sex should be a fast thing – just like you when you’re on the receiving end, he wants to remember and savor the moment, because after all, it doesn’t happen all the time. What’s even better, it’s a great way of making him squirm a little – there’s actually great pleasure in watching your partner enjoy what you’re doing to him sexually.

#2 The element of surprise!

Cute sexy lip with lollipop

Do you orchestrate your blow job or do you catch him off guard?

Most relationship experts will tell you that it’s better to take him by surprise. Naturally, he’s not going to refuse a blow job, what man would? Surprising him will make his day because of lets face it, you hate it so it’s probably not a frequent thing anyway. But in fact adding this variety will add a bit of spiciness to your relationship. Your man will feel more loved. He’ll feel that you find him attractive and of course you’ll give him that extra boost to his ego – because deep down he wants to know that he’s all man (it’s a male thing that we’ll probably never get!)

#3 The novice’s guide to giving good head!

If you’re more inexperienced, never given a blow job or just avoid it all costs it’s probably more difficult for you to initiate it. While some women are wilder and will just rip their partner’s pants open and head down with mouth wide open, the majority are more timid or should I say a little more clueless?

The best way is to go about it slowly. Picture this – you and your boyfriend are lying on the couch. He puts his arm around you protectively while you’re engrossed a movie. As he pulls you closer into his chest, start massaging his crotch. You’ll see that he’s easily aroused and he’ll pull you in even closer. Undo his top button suggestively while still lying down and by now his penis is fully erect waiting in anticipation. Slip your hand subtly down his pants and start stroking and as you do so move your body ever-so-slowly down with your face in his crotch area – all the time looking him in his eyes. Don’t be shy about this, he’s your partner. He’s seen you, you’ve seen him so there’s nothing to be ashamed about – it’s a blow job, not some wild and freaky sex position that’s going to get you all in a tangle!

Breathing lightly abound his crotch area, your warm breath will tickle him and you’ll be able to watch him flinch in pleasure. His eyes will be eager and excited and he’s waiting impatiently for you to begin. Ever so slowly begin to lightly nibble (without teeth of course) at his penis’ tip and as you do so, continue moving your strategically placed hands up and down the shaft. If it’s really dry, add a little bit more sexiness to the equation and gently spit down the shaft for natural lubrication.

He’s going to love the surprise and the fact that he didn’t have to ask for it or there was not a lot of awkward fumbling is going to be a huge turn on.

He’ll love that you’re taking initiative and control and you’ll be surprised how this control and power that you have over him can be so empowering. This empowerment will also increase your own sexual pleasure so if you think about it it’s a win-win situation.

#4 Going down

Fine-art portrait elegant young woman

In porn movies, you’ll see that the female porn actresses go deep taking the full penis into their mouths, but this doesn’t work in reality and it’s really uncomfortable. If you go down on him deep, you’ll just end up gagging, and dry retching is not an attractive sound when you’re trying to get intimate.

If you feel you want to go in for the deep throat effect, you need to use a variety of techniques and a combination of your mouth, lips, tongue and of course your hands. Take the base of his penis shaft in a firm grip and place your mouth gently below the penis’ head. After placing your mouth in the perfect position, move your hand and mouth simultaneously up and down in a rhythmic movement. At this point, he may begin to thrust his pelvis upright in sheer enjoyment as he gets more and more excited. This can be uncomfortable for the partner performing oral sex and if you don’t like it, you have to let him know otherwise it’s going to be uncomfortable for you and he’ll sense your tension. If you don’t feel uncomfortable verbally telling him (plus you have your mouth full –literally), gently use your other arm to push his pelvis back down to indicate that the thrusting is not your thing – he’ll oblige because at this very moment he’s under your sexual spell.

#5 Take breaks in between

They’d be nothing worse than getting lock jaw while going down on your man. The awkward positions that you may find yourself in while giving him head may cause a little discomfort and jaw pain making it difficult for you to enjoy the moment. Like I mentioned before, oral sex and blow jobs shouldn’t be a fast thing, so take some breaks in between. Add these breaks into the sex act and linger a little longer and you’ll get him thinking that it’s all part of your seductive plan… little does he know that you’re just coming up for a breather.

If you’re really struggling for breath and feel like you can’t subtly throw in a break or two without him noticing, try implementing what sex therapists aptly refer to as the ‘lipstick technique.’ Using your hand to gently massage the end of his head, take his penis up to your mouth, but instead of placing your mouth around it, lightly kiss the end using your tongue as if you’re giving it a French kiss – this way you’ll be able to catch the much-needed breath you want and at the same time rest your jaw! This gentle yet sexy technique will also add that extra natural lubrication if it’s needed.

The head of the penis contains many nerves and it’s an extremely sensitive area which will really get your man going!

#6 Licking is not just for ice-cream…

sugar ice cream

One maneuver that will surely get him groaning with pleasure is the simple art of licking. Imagine yourself licking an ice-cream cone that’s melting. The up and down movement of your tongue will add a little change and it will allow your man to relax a little without finishing too quickly. This is a great way of resting a little as well, but at the same time, you’ll be able to maintain his excitement.

#7 Getting stuck in and spicing it up

By now your man’s fully aroused. It’s been proved that the more aroused a person is, the higher tolerance to pain they have. As you go down on him again after taking a breath or two, hold on to his body tighter and dig your fingers in with more assertiveness. He’ll love the power you’re taking and he’s going to fully surrender his. This extra touch will signify that you’re in the mood and that you’re also enjoying it which will mean that he’s also going to return the favor.

#8 Using your teeth

When I say use your teeth, I don’t mean biting into him as if he were a piece of meat, I simply mean using the edges of your teeth to gently slide up and down the shaft. This reportedly, according to men, sends his body into spasms and all his senses will become even more acute.

#9 Uncircumcised?

Most women will shudder at the thought, but actually, your man having a foreskin can benefit you both when it comes to you giving him oral sex. Using your tongue or your teeth gently you can move his foreskin back and forth easily giving him even more pleasure. His foreskin will also make it a hell of a lot easier for you giving him a hand job at the same time!

#10 Suck don’t blow!

Who knows why a blow job contains the word “blow” since there’s no blowing involved and in fact, if you do this, you’ll hurt him. If we think about it logically, it should be called a “suck job”. Sucking his penis will create a throbbing sensation in his body and his body will writhe in pleasure. To create more of an erotic sensation try sucking on an ice block or ice cube before sucking him and this will give him an orgasmic tingly sensation sending shivers down his spine.

#11 Mouth vibrations!

Do you want to really spice things up and get those juices flowing? Here’s a technique that will really blow his mind and get him wondering where you learned such things. While you’ve got his penis in your mouth try humming gently. This action will create unusual but sensational vibrations and it’s almost guaranteed he’s going to have an out of body experience.

Tip: For extra effect throw in a few groans or two to show that you’re enjoying the moment too.

#12 Suck or swallow?

The big debate continues – do I suck or swallow? It’s a matter of preference really. Most men you ask are unsurprisingly going to tell you they prefer you to swallow, however, if you don’t want to it, it is perfectly okay and don’t feel pressure either way. All you need to do is have a strategically placed box of Kleenex at hand that you can subtly grab at the end.

Learning how to give a blowjob is not as hard as it seems. Generally speaking, most men are over the moon when they receive a blow job from their partner and they’re not going to be critical about it nor are they going to dissect your performance. It is possible to have fun while giving head, you’ve just got to get into the motion and let all your inhibitions go.

Remember variety is the spice of life and this is the perfect way to keep your sex life healthy.

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Victoria

Victoria loves life, people and travel and writes for YouQueen’s Love and Sex sections. She loves to laugh, dance and cook and has a penchant for dessert. Her life is hectic and often a little crazy but this is her driving force.

4 Comments

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  • Men also enjoy when we are kneeling down on our knees, and looking up at them. Do not be afraid to let him watch you, watching him.

    Men also enjoy it when we cradle their b*lls in one hand, sucking on him, and at the same time, grabbing their bottom.

    It’s also a major turn on if we play with ourselves the same time we’re pleasuring our man.

    Nice and slow….with a dash of confidence, and an abundance of pleasure will make any woman a tigress in bed…..

  • u know what they say,”mean girls spit,but nice girls swallow!”my hubby LOVES it!!!!It helps that I actually like giving BJ’s He says I have a gift.I also spice it up by using a vibrator for my tongue,but the BEST? POP ROCKS!!! TRUST ME!! if he doesn’t like it,you’ve left him alone w/ his hand too much. it also helps if swallowing is not your thing(although it will make him putty in your hands)

  • The reason men like it when a girl uses her teeth to gently scrape the shaft is because the penis head as well as the shaft quickly become numb due to the tiny nerve endings and when that happens the only way to get some extra sensation for the guy is if she uses her teeth. Softly stroking the shaft with her teeth while going up and down is like giving his shaft a deep tissue massage. The key to success is two-way communication. As for guys looking at their partner while being sucked, this is straight from pornography and the more both of you engage in the “visual” aspect to turn you on, the more dependent you become on getting off using sight. Instead of “watching” so much, for the guy, try closing your eyes and softly giving feedback to your partner. For girls, be in the moment, listen, and focus not only on his enjoyment but also yours. -Alan